A Lie Well Told

I wrote this a long time ago, when I was going through some very intense heartache. I can't remember the exact circumstances, but I'm sure somebody does...

I stare up at the ceiling, laying on my bed. The sheets underneath me are wrinkled and crumpled. I used to care about them being perfect and straight, but lately I've taken them to be just another thing that I don't care about as much as I used to. The fan is going up above me, white noise in my life. I like white noise, though; it is very calming. Today, though, there is no calming me down. There is nothing anyone can say that will allow me to finally have peace.

Today, I lost someone that meant more to me than anyone else on the planet. She is not dead, though; in fact, she is very much alive and well. Even so, I have lost her. See, her situation is such that we cannot even speak to each other, much less be together. The forces of the earth are hard at work against us, and right now they are winning...

I cannot help but tell her that I love her, because I do, more than anyone else on the planet. She is everything to me, my inspiration, my reason for living... To not be able to be with her, even just through conversation... It is killing me inside. I tell myself it's alright, that I do not need to feel pain for her, but it is a lie. Everything in my body hurts for her....

Then again, I can't say that for sure... I may have already died inside.

Reviews

[J. J. Nightingale]

All I know are my circumstances .. and how they hurt inside .. I decided to give what's left of life a chance .. and I try to be blind to what has died ..

I can relate .. J.

[Dean Kuch®]

I loved the line, 'The forces of the earth are hard at work against us..." Wow, who hasn't felt like THAT in their lifetime? Very beautifully written. Great job!