Tesco

Just got back from tesco

the city of aisles.

In one piece i might add.

First i visited men's toiletries

a tiny enclave overwhelmed,

surrounded by women's beauty aids.

Outnumbered, insufficient

and besieged on all sides

by vanity.

 

 

then i made the long arduous trek

through lost souls,

consumerist couples

and screaming kids,

past the cold climate of frozen meats.

Searching for water,

but unwittingly found myself cornered

In the aisle of sweets

where glazed eyes feast

and grubby paws fumble.

 

 

With the skillful negotiation

of a well driven trolley

through a mine field of loose toddlers

and elderly ladies transfixed by indecision

I found water at last-

 still spring, glistening

purity amongst filth

A tropical island in a sea 

of monosodium glutamate.

 

 

I cut short my journey

and left the clamouring hordes

to gloat over tubs of ice cream

And pour over price tags,

hunting bargains.

A packet of battenburgh cake

cheaper per gram

than a box of jammy dodgers?

So f*****g what-

 

 

Let me out of the assylum

i've found peace in the pure glistening

still spring water.

And gone home to drink.

Reviews

[Bubo]

Very nice!!And I can so relate to that awful weekly trip surrounded by bargains and people
barging you with trolleys....we think alike, I wrote a piece called "Bottled Poetry" about shopping too........I can see you walking around Tesco's with these words tumbling through your head!
Excellent!

I cut short my journey
and left the clamouring hordes
to gloat over tubs of ice cream
And pour over price tags,
hunting bargains.
A packet of battenburgh cake
cheaper per gram
than a box of jammy dodgers?
So f*****g what

[Megan]

I like the imagery. I think you can get rid of some of the conjunctions letting the metaphors crash together amplifying what you already have. Great work!

[ganymeder]

I really liked this part.

Just got back from tesco
the city of aisles.
In one piece i might add.
First i visited men's toiletries
a tiny enclave overwhelmed,
surrounded by women's beauty aids.
Outnumbered, insufficient
and besieged on all sides
by vanity.


It made me look at it in a way I hadn't thought of before. :)

[Shade]

Hmm this seem pretty critical towards the average shopper. Very good though, i like the composition and word choice.
It really plays out a very busy and crowded supermarket.