Live.

It has been nearly 2 months since I’ve written anything. In the two months I’ve kept a low profile and have locked myself indoors. Not really going out anywhere except the store and school. Sometimes to a friend’s house, just to be locked up indoors as well.

This last weekend I left early (my definition of early is around noon…) and headed on the bus and trains to downtown Los Angeles. Honestly, I didn’t know which way I was headed, just knew I had to be out of these 4 walls. That day I hit a few locations, and walked a lot. Also, I saw people.

When locked up in a room, you disconnect from the rest of the world in a way that is hard to explain. Maybe I’m just a damn hermit that likes to be cooped away. Regardless, I had for the most part grown stagnant. With this outing, I felt the flow, the flow of time, the flow of blood, the flow of life all around me.

I saw the people at the lowest end of the spectrum of existence. People living on the street, sleeping in parks. A man speaking, mouthing words to the train’s ceiling in complete joy, eyes lit up like bright candles, then when he leveled his head and eyes to the rest of us, the expression on his face was of a broken soul. 

I saw the young mothers pushing carriages with babies. The young couples walking hand in hand, kissing each other, oblivious to anything but each other. I saw older people vending their wares, their food, working hard to make a living for them and theirs.

I walked by a salon, which looked expensive, all windows. The people inside all looked like models from high class clothing catalog I could only imagine. Luxury cars stopping in front of towers, emptying and being parked by guys in red vests.

…

Getting off the bus in my neighborhood, I noticed all the dried black gum on the pavement. Walked a bit further and noticed the vomit stains on a 3 foot wall. The weeds and dirt on the crooked sidewalk. The sound of sirens in the distance. And the ever present sound of cars.

And I smiled.