Bargaining

Can I...ever get you back?.....Will you ever be mine.....What can I do to get you back?

       Welcome to my life....Take a bite. 

Chapter 3...Bargaining

You left with her...And let me be alone. Take your hands off, I don't need help. He's the only one that I have ever loved. Do you know how bad I wish I could erase this from my mind? I can only replay it, and I am constantly being reminded. I don't want to imagine, the pain he has to go through though. I know it hurts him, seeing me in pain this way.  

August 1, 2013, 

Dear Diary, 

     I can't stop this. Can I? Every where I go Every where I turn..Your name. Every thing I do, seems like its not enough for you. Can I take you away from her? There has to be some way. Honestly, I love him .... so much. There has to be another way. To be continued. 


I was wrong, there is no way he would ever be mine again. But if I could hold a star, for how much I love him, the whole evening sky could be in the palm of my hand. So now I will wait, till he takes me in his arms, and kisses me. Maybe, There could be another way? If I could trade something, for him? I just don't want to hurt anymore and I don't want him hurting either. He deserves so much better, someone sweet, someone who understands him, someone who loves him, someone who knows him, someone who's positive and happy, and gives him constant happiness....someone like me. Over and over I fell down. I am such a terrible person. 

August 1, 2013, 

Dear Diary, 

     How could I not have seen he liked me once. I chose to be a b***h, and played hard to get, If only I acted nicer, talked more, maybe...he could have been mine...I am a loser, and idiot. I don't deserve him, what am I thinking? He deserves someone better, someone like her..someone he loves. 

Is it possible to die from embarrassment? To die from being unwanted? If only he could see how much strength, and hope he gives me. The one he needs.........isn't me, in fact...I hope he's happy with her. With out me. Just, forget all about me. Have I overcome this stage? Probably. But...he was my first love after all. I promise, i'll get over this. I give you my word. If only I could run up and kiss him. Just once. Sharing that amazing wonderful moment, of our lips connecting. Sharing a moment together like that. Something so passionate. I want that. So bad. But that could never happen. Why am I giving myself false hope. Why do I cry every time I see his name. Trade me....for her. Go on...Take her. Leave me. Its fine....

                                                         Bargaining

                                                    3/5 Stages of grief.  

Author's Note

Sorry for such a short chapter. ... enjoy

Reviews

[JordanIsaacSmith]

I'm not sure which of the five stages is worse, but I found this one to be particuarly horrible. Another great chapter, that perfectly captures the feelings that many must feel when they go through this.

[Ivana~]

Going through this stage was probably the most hardest for me personally. Thank you for your lovely reviews :)