A Lost Soul

He took a deep breath and opened his father's safe. Inside he withdrew the 9mm handgun from the center and held it in his hand. With tears in his eyes, George closed the safe and sat at his father's desk. He placed the gun on the table to light a cigarette and sank deeply into the soft, warm chair, keeping both eyes focused on the gun intensely.

He was alone, he thought, there was no one to comfort him, no one to listen. She left him an empty shell, alone with his thoughts and now the depression had taken over. She was the only one who understood his pain but now he could not fight the darkness that grew inside him.

George was never like the others but she never cared. Her love for him was unconditional as was his love for her. But now George could not feel love, he could not feel pain or sorrow either. His emotions diminished slowly day by day until he woke up that morning an could not feel anything.

Inside his mind battled to keep control but the war had already been lost. He thought about her smile, her long brown hair, her bold green eyes, and still he could not feel the love he had felt just a few days before. The only thing he could feel was terror inside his heart, eating away at the very essence that made him a human being. 

Even in his deepest depressions she had always pulled him back to the world of warmth and life. But now George could not feel warmth; his body was cold and hollow. He tried to fight himself with every fiber of his being, screaming in his mind to put the gun back and go back to sleep. But sleep eluded him for sleep was for the living and inside George had already died. 

He replayed the images in his head over and over again until the very memory of her face brought tears to his eyes. He continuously thought to himself, if only I wasn't driving. But he had been driving and now there was nothing left of her other than a stone in the grass that read her name: R.I.P. Kelly Troy.

With each memory that passed through his brain he grew closer and closer to grabbing the gun. He had done nothing wrong, it was that other driver. The intoxicated scum who had consciously gotten behind the wheel of his truck. Only that man didn't die, Kelly did.

How is that fair, he thought, why should he get to live the rest of his life while she was so brutally taken from life. George clenched his fist and took another drag from his cigarette, attempting to fight back the tears that were already rolling down his cheeks. 

George was left with no real decision. He could not live in a world that she was not in. She was his heart, his essence, his soul. When she died, he died too and for him to truly live again he had to see her again. In the desk drawer George withdrew a pen and a single piece of paper. He began to write his final words;

Dear Mother and Father,

You have been wonderful. As parents you have given me everything a child could dream for and for that I am eternally grateful. And while I love you both from the bottom of my heart I cannot bear this weight any longer. The night Kelly died, I lost myself. The connection I felt with her was cosmic, something I will never find again. She gave me meaning and without her I have nothing left. And with these final words I would just like to say that I cannot live in a life where she is not by my side. I told her I would follow her anywhere and tonight I will keep my promise.

With the greatest love,

George E. Callaway

He folded the letter neatly in three places and set it under his father's desk cover. With one last drag of his cigarette he permitted the tears in his eyes to plunder down his cheeks. He grabbed the gun off the desk and gazed into the dark metal. 

George closed his eyes and took a deep, crisp breath. When his eyelids raised he felt no tears. There was no sadness. There was no pain. There was nothing.

With a final breath he chose his last words carefully for he would be the only one who could hear them, "I'll see you soon." With a steady hand he lifted the barrel to his temple, his eyes tightened shut and he held his breathe.

As the trigger clicked he heard a loud blast and then he saw nothing but light.

Reviews

[JMPrinceOU]

I love reading catchy first chapters, especially if this is intended on being a young adult novel. Make sure you pay close attention to editing when you get ready to publish. For example, in the second sentence there is a dangling modifier. You might just eliminate the word "inside" from the beginning. I'm interested to see what happens on the other side of the light. It seems a little awkward that he signed the letter to his parents with his full name. Is there a disconnect with their relationship? If not, you might just sign it George to add some warmth to the character. However, since he has 'died' inside, this might have been done intentionally to show to distance between him and everyone at this point.

Anyway...great read!

Happy Writing!!!