Death Sentence

  The girl stood in the void, or I suppose she was floating as the top was indistinguishable from the bottom.  Her long dark hair fell down the back of her pretty white dress and covered her right eye and shoulder.  Her expression was blank yet her eyes seemed fixed on me.  It went on like this for some time, my fear and anxiety steadily growing as the girl and I stared at each other in the dark abyss.  Then her lips parted and sound escaped.   I could hear the sound of a sweet young voice speaking words, linking vowels and consonants to spell my impending doom.

“He wants you dead”

 

                I awoke with tears in my eyes.  The dream was vivid and surreal; it frightened me to the core.  I was soon enveloped by Sla’ine’s arms as he inquired what the matter was.  I told him of the frightening young girl and her cryptic message.  “It’s only a dream” he reassured me.  I was thankful for my friends company.  Dreams, even nightmares, surely could not be real.  Dreams were a mixture of the subconscious and the supernatural but harmless nevertheless or so I thought.  I spent the rest of the dark hours of the morning with my head protectively buried in Slai’ne’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me.  When the sun lit up the sky however I could no longer feign sleep.  I greeted the sun with a morning run, an attempt to push the frightening little girl from my mind.  When I returned Slai’ne was fast asleep in my bed.   I quietly closed the door and went to take a shower.  People often use the calming atmosphere of a warm shower to think but the more I thought the more distressed I became.  I deserved to die and He knew it.  When I had first woken from the dream I was unsure as to whom He was, but now there was no doubt in my mind of His identity.  I pushed the thought from my mind and toweled off.  The sun had been up for some time and I figured Slai’ne wouldn’t be too upset if I woke him.  On the way to the closet, where my days outfit was hanging, the pulsing light on my cell phone distracted me.  A text message from an unknown number was awaiting me.  I opened the message and read it only to be met with a most terrifying shock.  

-He wants you dead-

 

 I pulled a black dress over my head with shaking hands.  I sat on the edge of the bed and gave in to the crippling fear.  It was inevitable, I was going to die.  How had I ignored His fiery eyes that followed me everywhere for so long?  I knew I was unworthy of life; I had committed such heinous crimes.  The sound of my panicked breathing woke Slai’ne who groggily attempted to comfort me.  The ache in my chest expanded and I imagined this is what a heart attack felt like. As the pain grew I feared this is where I would meet my end.  When Slai’ne asked what the matter was I thrust the phone into his hands, the screen still showing the cryptic message.  “Who sent this?” he demanded.  Slai’ne’s full attention was now on the phone and I escaped to the kitchen.  The feeling I experienced was unexplainable.  Driven by such utter madness I threw open a drawer and procured a simple bic lighter from within.  Igniting the flame I held the device to my arm.  First there was a tingling sensation and then the smoldering of skin against the flame.   For a second those knowing eyes of His disappeared.  The intense pain was the only way to forget my guilt.   Until the cry of “NATALIE” brought Him back.

 

                I found myself sitting in the emergency room; my gaping wound of seared flesh had been swabbed with ointments, prepared for its bandage.  His eyes were burning hot against the back of my neck as my heart rate continued at an unhealthy rate.  My scalp was prickling, begging for the hair to be ripped out of it.  “I thought we were done with this Natalie?” Slai’ne said for only me to hear, his voice quiet yet irritated.  They wanted to keep me locked up in the hospital.  They said it was to keep me safe.  The hospitals protection couldn’t keep me from my destiny; His eyes followed me even here and burned deeper into my skin.  Slai’ne promised he would keep me safe.  I was released with my salved and bandaged arm.  Slai’ne called Lucy to ask her to help keep an eye on me.  “Oh, darling.” She cried when she saw my fresh bandage and gave me a hug.  These two guardians were the closest thing to a family I had, I didn’t want to leave them but I had no choice.  Their furrowed brows looked over me as I remembered the heinous adulterous act that had gained me this fate.  Surely that must have been the catalyst for these horrific events; it was the single most wicked thing I had ever done in my life.

 

                When Slai’ne had gone I couldn’t refrain from the maddening urges any longer. In a matter of an hour I had escaped from Lucy’s well intended care.  I lost myself, letting the morbid madness take over.  I didn’t run but walked fast and determined into the dead brush covered hills.  I was unaware of where I was going but I knew I was headed towards my end.  My phone beeped and pulsed, I could see the light blinking through my pocket.  I dare not answer it for fear of whatever hellish message awaited me.  The sky grew dark and the brush cleared before me.  My rapid heartbeat began to slow.  Incongruously the panic lessened yet His eyes burned hotter through my back and into my stomach.

 

                This time when I saw her I experienced a wave of recognition.  The dark hair the white tea party dress, this messenger of doom, was an image of my ten year old self.  A child born out of wedlock and never intended to live.  Despite her appearance the girl was in essence a reincarnation of Him.   The heat emanated from His glowing eyes staring out from her pretty head.  The madness returned as I heard Slai’ne and Lucy’s voices approaching. The brush crunching under their feet brought the pounding beats of my heart.  I felt Slai’ne’s hand against my shoulder effecting the girl to disappear.  The throbbing in my chest and head swelled unbearably then, causing me too tremble violently.  Sla’ine and Lucy called to me but I didn’t hear them.  I was too engrossed in my feelings of guilt and fear.  My friends knew of my sins yet they couldn’t understand their magnitude.  They didn’t understand why I had to die.  A torrent of tears flooded my vision and again everything was dark.  She stood before me in the abyss, reminding me of my fate.  I had no choice, He wanted me dead.  I reached out into the obscurity and grasped for her hand.   I heard Lucy scream in the distance. 

     In that moment I realized my mistake.  I begged for them to save me.  I begged for forgiveness, to serve my penance some other way.    My transgressions I realized were no fouler than anyone else’s.  I had never laid blame to the other involved in my sin.  I had not condemned them to this same fate.  For a fleeting instant I thought perhaps I had been pardoned.  The choice to live or die was mine alone. I wanted to live.  This revelation brought a sense of peace to the atmosphere.  The gloom receding I felt the comforting presence of my friends.  They had not abandoned me when all others had.  In the moment directly following this awareness shadows enveloped us.  The revelation came too late.  My doom determined by self loathing.  A decision made with the limited foresight guilt provides.  Abruptly the hills became ablaze as the ground split beneath us.  A view of the abysmal pit emerged revealing a scene contrary to that which I had imagined.  Suspended in the void the opened earth released my end.

Reviews

[Milkisorange]

Whatever, I like it, but it is kind of lame

[StrawBarry]

tell me about it, the pills do not help in the slightest and my cats tail is almost completely gone.

[synthesizertoady]

Your morbid fixation with fire concerns me. I think that maybe you seek help. I don't think that it is healthy for you. While I understand that you are writing from the perspective of this character Natalie I can't help but get the feeling that you really would like to burn something, and I'm not sure that Is wise. Maybe you should talk to someone close about your deep seated pyromania.

[Puzzle-bot]

This is so well written - I loved the emotional lanuage and the briliant wording. 10/10! It was wel worth the read.