Loss of Control

I have had several odd dreams lately and these are my thoughts on them. This is a very difficult piece to write because it is so personal.

It is a rare occurrence for me to remember any dreams I have had. In the past two weeks, however, I have had three dreams that have been memorable. I call them "Accident", "Child", and "Sideways". All of these dreams share common themes, most notably the involvement of vehicles.

The first dream, "Accident", is perhaps the most unrealistic, but it is possible. I dreamt that I was behind the wheel of a Volkswagen Beetle. I'm not much of a fan of the more modern takes on the design of the car; however, I had no choice in the matter, as this was not a lucid dream. 

I was driving through a very open, but very dreary subdivision, much like the ones near to my home. The weather was quite rainy and overcast. There was another Volkswagen Beetle out and about on the streets in the dream. The driver of said Beetle was quite reckless. Instead of stopping at the proper stop sign at one end of a four-way intersection, he drove through the intersection and stopped at the stop sign opposite where he should have stopped.

In response to this, I began to follow the other driver to report his actions to the police. I did not have the time to do so. The other driver managed to flip his Beetle over so that it was upside down. He was not the only occupant of the vehicle, either; four other passengers had gone along for the ride and ended up topsy turvy. Being the ideal good citizen which I would like to be, I parked my own Beetle, exited, and went to help the occupants of the capsized car. This is where the "Accident" dream stops and the "Child" dream, which occurred during the same night, begins.

It was a lovely fall day along a woodsy highway. Looking to the north, there is a straight stretch of street for roughly half of a mile, followed by a winding, lonesome road. I managed to find my car in a parking spot by this road. This time, however, it was a black 1999 Toyota Corolla, the kind of car I currently drive, that I had found.

There was a median between the parking space and the opposite side of the road. Beyond the shoulder of the road was an open air plaza in which a limestone building. It was rectangular with a green triangular roof. On the front of the building was a single door and, above that, a single circular window measuring roughly one yard in diameter.

As I went to drive my car out of the parking spot, I hit something. In case you haven't figured it out, this is why this dream is called "Child". The victim of vehicular manslaughter was a young boy, between three and seven years of age, wearing a green t-shirt and grey shorts. Vehicle be damned, I got out immediately and rushed to the boy. I had to know if he was okay. This is where the dream stopped.

A day or two later, I had another vehicle-related dream, this time involving only one vehicle. There was an eighteen-wheeler truck driving down a street that almost exactly matches a stretch of Renwick Road between the traffic circle and Indian Boundary in Plainfield, Illinois. This stretch of road, however, unlike the real road, was not lined with subdivisions. There was only a grey expanse of prairie on either side of the road. The trailer of the truck ended up on its side. Then the dream ends without giving any explanation for the accident, any clue as to the identity of the driver, and any hint of human presence.

All of these dreams exhibit several common themes, as stated before. First, they all involve motorized vehicles. Second, they all involve situations in which there is a loss of control. The slipperiness of the road in the "Accident" dream contributed to the overturned car. The lack of clear vision in the "Child" dream led to an unfortunate striking of a child with a car.

I spoke with the therapist I regularly see about these dreams and he offered some helpful insight about dreams from a psychological standpoint. Dreams can often be interpreted as messages from one part of the self to another. Perhaps the theme of a loss of control applied to my own life, he hypothesized. I didn't disagree.

I have little control over my current work situation, as I await a transfer from working for one company to another. I've been working in the same warehouse since September 2013. I have been selected, as of the end of March, to be hired on to the company which owns the warehouse. It's been a very long wait from March to what is now mid-July, considering that very little will change besides my pay and which company employs me.

Occasionally, I have little control over my blood sugar. I've had diabetic difficulty since I was diagnosed in May 2002. There is no perfect solution to managing it, simply for the fact that it is almost crafty in the way that it operates within the human body. Making one small mistake can be quite painful.

I have had little control over my finances, too. I want to work and I have a hard time getting hours. I want to get two tires replaced and it turns out I need all four replaced, two tie rods, an alignment, and lug-nuts. In all, that cost $625.41. That's a lot of money that I wasn't prepared to spend, but has been well worth the cost.

In conclusion, I believe my mind may be sending me a message that I have to start taking control over my own life. If not, who knows what could happen? The worst thing I can do is not try.