Redemption

Redemption

A Story by Usman Muhammad
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This is a story which revolves around three characters. It is their conquest against God.

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              REDEMPTION




27th May, 2006

JOSEPH

My mom tells me that I am very lucky to have a twin brother. She says we both are special and a blessing for her and that she loves us. We both are lucky to have such mom who cares for us so much.

I love my brother more than anything else in this world. He is elder than me in terms of seconds only. He is like a silent guardian to me. I learned this word today in my English classroom. I like how I used it for my brother, he will be glad to see it. He is very caring and keeps my secrets “Secret”

Mother wants us to study hard to become doctors but we have other plans. We have decided to become cops. Actually it was his idea and I chose it because I can’t leave my brother. He says it is the only way we will live together.

While playing in house we both pretend to be cops and neither of us agrees to act like a thief. I tried to change his role but he is a genius and he found a real good solution to this problem. Now we both help each other in catching this imaginary Mr. Wrong. I feel good to act as his assistant because it helps me to understand my mistakes.

 

28TH May, 2006

JOSEPH

I hate everyone. I don’t want to live anymore. Isaac died today in a road accident. We were coming back from a local store when this happened. I don’t remember what exactly happened but I saw a lot of his blood on the road. My brother is no longer with me now. I want to die, just like my brother died. Mom used to tell me that we both, he and I, together make one. I am very sad and I don’t know what to do now with my life. All I can think now is to kill myself.

 

29TH May, 2006

JOSEPH

I don’t know what to do with my life. My mother has been admitted to hospital. Doctors tell me that she is in Coma. I don’t know what “coma” is? I guess it’s bad. I can’t kill myself because it will be unfair to mom after everything she has done for us. She needs me, and I need her even more.

 

30TH May, 2006

JOSEPH

I saw a dream last night. It was about Isaac. I don’t remember the details but I remember him asking me for help. When I woke up, I was sweating. I was frightened because I have never felt anything like that.

For once I thought Isaac was back and everything was going to be good again but something woke me up….it was fear, I don’t know what is happening to me. I am scared.

 

31ST May, 2006

JOSEPH

My dreams are getting worse. My life is not anymore mine; it’s like I am just passing it away. There is no one I can talk to. My mother’s condition is very bad. It seems to me like she has died too with Isaac and is now looking at me from above…from stars. Whenever I see her in the emergency room, I see her motionless. When I was young, I used to ask mother what death is, and she would tell me that when your heart stops breathing and your body stops moving, that is when you die. Doctors think I don’t know she is dead, but I do know that.

 I heard doctors telling nurses that her chances are very low. They are pretending that my mother is alive. I hope they are not pretending and that my mother is alive.

Last night, I asked God why He did that to me, to my brother and my mother. No reply came back. I guess He doesn’t care for us anymore. Maybe He has left us when we wanted Him the most.

I remember how much I used to play with my brother and when I would get tired he would call me a coward. Many times a day, I call him by his name, thinking he might be hiding behind the wall or below his bed but he never shows up. I miss him very much.

While crossing a street today, I read a word “Revenge”; I asked an old man what it means, he said “To hurt someone for what he did to you.” So this is what I am going to do, I will take revenge of my brother.

 

28TH May, 2006

SAMUEL

Birth of a child is the most wonderful gift for parents. It brings hope, love and a reason to live for. I am very happy today. My son David has got admission to Harvard University in the department of Biomedical Engineering. I am very proud of him. He worked hard throughout his life to achieve his goal. I am happy to have him.

Sometimes I wonder how everything changes. Time is something which is beyond my understanding. When you are living in it, you wish to live it quickly and when you look back, you hope you could have stayed a bit more. I wish I could control time. If I could, I would go back in time to tell my wife how proud I am of our son. I know what she will say, “I knew my Davey was special.” But then the time….

Our days of poverty will be over soon. His hard work is paying off. Yesterday, when he came to house, he hugged me and said “This will be soon over, father…..You have done more than enough for me. You are the best father in the world.” He was crying and I was too. I wish my wife could have been here with us. I had never experienced anything like that in my whole life. I would usually cry when I am alone but when he hugged me it wasn’t me whom he hugged; he hugged a child, because I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I believe this is what we call Happiness and today I have felt its enormous power. After losing so much in life when someone sees anything like that, he comes to understand the value of his hardships.

Now I believe in God….that He exists. He listens to our prayers. I regret saying bad things about Him when I lost my wife. I think He has forgiven me.

Life is too uncertain. It is what you would expect least in the most unexpected moment. Life is always trying to surprise you, sometimes with happiness and sometimes by taking away happiness. And that’s why I blame life, for it is unexpected in its existence.

 

8TH November, 2010

Samuel

Just when things are about to move in a good direction and when your hard work starts to pay off, things happen which are beyond justification.

Last weekend, I was thinking how things will change when David got a job and here I am now, trying to understand how badly things have changed.

I used to believe that everything happens for a reason but I see no reason in what happened to me and my only family.

It is me against God now. The only difference is, I have no power. First He took my wife and then my only son. He thought I would move on just like I did when my wife died but how could He expect the same after taking my son’s life.

David died four days ago. That day he called me in the morning telling me to be ready in evening as he would take me to dinner in a nearby restaurant.

I thanked God for helping me out through thick and thin. I told Him that without His help nothing would have been possible.

David took me from home. We went to Al Fresco. When he was parking his bike in the parking stand, a car crashed into motorcycle. I don’t know what happened when that car hit us. I was taken to a hospital and when I came back to my senses, doctors told me something for which I was not ready. I knew from their expression what they wanted to tell me. I wanted to stop them. Hope was there, urging me to stop them from telling me the unbearable truth. But I couldn’t do anything. A female doctor said “Sir, we are sorry to inform you that your son has died because of a head injury. Police has told us that they have got a lead on the suspect. His name is Joseph and they are trying their best to catch him.” And just like that she finished everything I created.

My life was over and so was I. I don’t know for how many days, I lay there, motionless. I wanted them to end my life but they were trying their best to save me. Maybe, they were also a part of God’s scheme in which everything was written against my will. They wanted me to feel the pain…the pain of losing a son. They kept me alive because they wanted me to become a monster so they can prove that it was all my fault. That I was the only reason for what happened to my Beloved Ones.

 

3RD November, 2014

SAMUEL

It has been four years since the death of David. Since that I have been looking for death, but it is nowhere to be found. I have started to look at things with a different perspective. A perspective in which I have diffused my thoughts with hatred. I have come to this understanding that this “GOD” uses death to play with us. He makes our lives miserable by hiding death.

People think I am mad. I have told them to leave me but they keep asking me questions about my past. Most of the times, I remain silent but, sometimes, I can’t control myself and when I am done with answering their questions, they call me a Heretic. Some go too far to even spit at me but I don’t mind….I don’t care.

 I like how God plays with us. He uses people as an element of torture, the worst degree of torture. It leeches to your soul for the rest of your life and keeps adding on pain.

God thinks He has planned everything, and for me He has planned the worst. But after playing with God for so many years I think I might have found a solution….an obvious one.

 

4TH November, 2014

PATRICK

I am writing this letter to state the guilt I have been suffering for almost eight years when I killed an innocent boy because of my drinking habits. It was an accident, a horrible one. I wish I could have saved him but it was his time. Everything is written as our fate. We can’t ignore it.  At the same time you can’t escape pretending that it was written, you have to realize what made you do it.

I have been going to the same place for many days where I killed him, with revolver in my pocket. I want to end this all. Every time I try to do so, some invisible force stops me from doing it. I believe this force is my life, even though I can’t live that life anymore. It keeps stopping me.

It’s not that I don’t want to live anymore, it’s just this guilt which is urging me to give away my soul. Some people would think after reading this letter that I should be thankful to God for living so many years after what I did in the past but I want to tell them I would be happy only if I could break away from this cage of my life.

I am here, left with a revolver, few bullets to take my own life. And I will end this all tomorrow.

 

5TH November, 2014

PATRICK

God has many ways of protecting us. He even protects us from ourselves. I think He manipulates our lives in such a way that we think whatever is happening to us, it’s unfair. But when time comes, He opens new doors to us and gives us everything we have desired for. He forgives our sins which we did in the past and gives us a clean slate to start again.

I was ready to kill myself today. I went to a nearby dumping site which has been sealed for many months. A perfect place to execute myself. When I got there I saw an old man sitting on a bench, looking at me curiously. I was hoping that he would go away but he kept sitting there. Things were not going as planned. After few minutes of this silence, he stood up and started coming towards me. I got afraid and went for my revolver in my pocket. He gestured me to calm down and asked my name. I said it was Patrick. He said “So, Patrick, I wonder what you are doing here. And by the way, my name is Samuel, I am pleased to meet you.” I was getting this feeling that he might be a cop and was here to arrest me. “I am here just breathing in air, sir,” I said in a hesitating tone. He smiled “Breathing? ..... In this dump kid?” he replied waving his hands towards the site. “Yes sir” and with that I knew I was in trouble.

He was an old man around his fifties or sixties. He was tall, had brown long hair and a scar below his lower lip. He was wearing a leather jacket and looked poor to me. I broke the silence, “I don’t know what you are talking about, believe me, I just came here to refresh myself. I am not feeling well these days.” 

“Neither am I, young boy. Neither am I,” he said. Air was getting heavier and heavier and we both knew things were coming to an end. He put his hand on my shoulder and said “I am too old for these games. Don’t waste my time as I already have suffered a lot. Me and you…..” He pointed the finger of his other hand towards me, “We both know why we are here, those who come here….they come here to set themselves free.” He showed me his gun, “I have already suffered a lot and you will help me to end this all.” I realized he was right; he knew why I was there. He was like me…broken, unsatisfied and was tired of his life.

“So what do you want me to do?” I asked him. “Nothing, just take out your gun and point it at my forehead and I will point mine at you and here take these letters,” he put his hand in his pocket and handed me few letters. “What for?”  I asked. While checking bullets in his gun he answered “I don’t want to die with any burden on my chest. I want to fly like a bird, without any burden.” I took my revolver out, I could feel the metal surface of my revolver. I cocked the pistol and aimed it. “Remember son, from now on, there is no chance of any mistake. If you missed, I will beat you to hell so nobody can recognize your face. We both want peaceful death. Don’t we?”  Then he asked me if I was ready and I nodded in yes. He shouted “One, two and three” Bullets made their way through the gun. I remember hearing two gunshots, I remember watching him falling on the ground and looking at his smile with which he was looking at the sky although he was dead. He was smiling at the fragility of this world and had every right to smile.

But he broke his last promise….a liar, he missed his shot. I saw God when I saw him dying. I saw death making its way through his body to capture his soul.

He missed his shot intentionally. But why? I wish he could have told me the reason.

 

6TH November, 2014

PATRICK

Everything in this world remains constant or they follow a constant pattern. I mean God, His creation….everything. But there are few things which are not constant. These are our emotions, feelings and observations. If we look at our lives, we are always under the influence of our emotions. We depend on them to live our lives because they keep us moving and changing. Changes in these factors are very unrealistic and that is what makes us different from others. Our observations about someone changes every moment based on the facts we are given. We always are in need of some different perspective to look at things and with that our observations change.

Today, in news it was told that during police raid, two boys were killed. One of them was Joseph, who killed the son of that old man whom I killed yesterday. I was happy that the old man got justice. I hope, now, he will rest in peace.

With every passing day, my believe in God is strengthening. With each day He is showing me signs of His infinite wisdom. I have realized that His justice is eternal. I wish this incident could have happened a day before when Samuel gave his life. I wish I could have saved him. He was a nice old man.

 

7TH November, 2014

PATRICK

I read the letters Samuel gave me. He gave me those letters on purpose. He wanted me to understand the reality about God. After reading his letters I have come to this conclusion that God created us just to play with us. From Samuel’s letters I have come to know that he worked throughout his life to help his son get good education. And just when things were about to turn in his favor, his son was killed.

In the letters, old man said that he believes God is his enemy. He is right; cruelty and injustice are little words to describe what happened to him. I wonder how he survived all this.

Now, I am feeling the pain of own guilt too. It’s becoming too strong. Flashes of that incident are making me mad. I have never felt such tormenting pain. I have to stop writing now.

 

8TH November, 2014

PATRICK

This will be my last letter. These few days have been very painful for me. Each and every incident which occurred these days, it went back to the incident in which I accidentally killed that boy. I imagine all these incidents connecting themselves to a web I created. I created this web and God fabricated it; He played with it. I never created this web; it just happened, but God used it as a reason to take others life. He fabricated this web in such a way that I was made responsible for everything. whereas He was just catching His preys and for that, I admire His wisdom.

I know you might be thinking I am talking nonsense. But let me conclude everything and then, it will be up to you to decide who was wrong, me or God. That whether He plays with us, with our emotions or not.

In news bulletin it was told that a letter was found from Joseph’s pocket. What he wrote in the letter was something like this:

Mother, Isaac, I miss you. I know you are angry at me. I know you don’t even want to hear me, but let me tell you Isaac, I died that day with you. I prayed to God to take me to you but He deceived me and kept me alive. What was I supposed to do without you?

Do you remember our dream of becoming cops? I know that’s why you are angry at me that I have involved in drugs but what I was supposed to do alone. I can see you up there, shining in the sky. When you don’t show up I cry because my past becomes my present. I miss you Isaac….I miss you.

I am looking for that b*****d who killed you. No matter what happens I will find him and there will be no mercy that day. I would never forget his face, his jeep and his cowardice.

Isaac, never ever think that I have forgotten you. Sometimes, I see your face in a crowd and I run after you but you always outrun me. That’s not fair. You used to tell me that you will always protect me but I don’t see you anywhere and when I do, you run away.

I remember when mother told me that you and I together, make one, which is not anymore. I still ask God questions but He never answers back. I never speak ill of him; otherwise mom would get angry on me but I want to know if He exists. I want to know that He was watching everything when my brother was killed. I want to know that after watching everything He refused to help us and deprived us of justice. I just want someone to tell me that He exists.

Your Twin brother Joseph

Now it’s up to you to decide who was at fault. I am going to countryside to live rest of my life in peace and harmony. Unlike God I will help others. I will do what is right and will not fear God anymore.

I wish I could have saved everyone but it was not in my power. When I am gone to the countryside, you will get these letters. I hope you will not make a bias decision because of the fear of God. I hope you will do justice.

© 2016 Usman Muhammad


Author's Note

Usman Muhammad
This is my 4th story in 2 months. I never thought of going this far.
First of all I would like to thank Edmund for helping me out with every story I have written. Without his help I couldn't have been here. Thanks Edmund.
[Reader]Your constructive review is what I will be looking for, because today, I am here just because of your support. Your reviews are a real support for me.
One last thing that Patrick wanted me to ask you who was wrong? Him or God?

My Review

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Featured Review

Its just speechless as i did not really think any story will exist in such a way... Firstly, i got completely lost in it that i did not even realize the end.. Again i started reading the last part to get the end... Words used are beautiful... And the thought is really interesting as well as wonderful. The characters linked at the end brings a lively effect in the story... It is perfectly playing the roles, describing the perfect emotions in each case... After reading the story, i am very sure that you have improved yourself a lot. And as Edmund is responsible for this, i really respect him. Its not less than a miracle to form a story in such perfect and simple way... I loved it, as it has become my favorite story now...
Nice formation of words and sentences too!!! well done friend.... I want ti write more, but i don't get enough words ti describe........ If its your imagination, then i really respect your skills... Good job!!!
And about the question, life is totally uncertain, and sometimes it becomes impossible to judge god... Like i said u, we should trust ourselves more rather than god... Patrick, if we see reality, should not have drunk so much, but it wasn't his fault though.. It was circumstances which were created by god again... Life is really uncertain, good times give happiness nd bad times give sadness, both r important in life...
Anindita

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Usman Muhammad

8 Years Ago

Such a kind review! Thanks Janvee, I am glad that you liked my story.
This review means a lo.. read more
Anindita Janhabee

8 Years Ago

You are most welcome 😊👌



Reviews

God is constantly working to show that He is in control of all things. Sometimes He does it gently, and sometimes He does it with a heavy hand; that we may come to know His power stands everlasting, while the work of our hands only stands as long as He allows it not to crumble. He does much good, and causes joy for everybody, but He also causes much suffering for everybody; that they may know that He is the Lord. We all will reach death, and God shall take His spirit back from us. Every pain and pleasure we have here under the sun is indeed a gift; as we would not experience anything without this life. Excellent work, Usman. A very dark story of broken faith; a gift to those who are suffering in the same way. God works through us all that we may know Him.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Such a powerful story you have here. All of these deaths creating hardship in the narrator's life and, indeed, his path to redemption. Very courageous themes present. Great effort with this story.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Usman Muhammad

8 Years Ago

Thanks Clifford for reading and reviewing my story. I am glad you liked it. Your appreciation means .. read more

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Added on June 11, 2016
Last Updated on June 19, 2016
Tags: Regret, loss, doubt, hatred, hope, vengeance, consequences

Author

Usman Muhammad
Usman Muhammad

Islamabad, Pakistan



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A Story by Usman Muhammad



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