A cantankerous writer

Sometimes you are not a writer but just trying to be one

Writing a book is not that simple, it takes courage to write a book. Writing a book means you yourself become void and hollow. You put every thought, emotion, feeling, instinct, experience on  a few lines of paper. To me it is an act of suffering. Sometimes your pen follows you and sometimes it ceases to reveal your undetermined emotions. Writing means becoming a criminal in your mind where your thoughts haunt you, where fear gets you every time, where your imagination falls into an endless limbo without aiming to touch the ground.

  My question which I ask myself many times is why do I write? When writing something haunts me so badly. Why do I feel voidness in my soul? When I can't feed lines with proper words. Why do I cry? When I feel I can't write anything anymore. When they(critics) say writing is an art which only few possess, I ask them how? I want to tell them it is neither an art nor it is some talent, it is just a simple way to express your regret which has haunted you throughout your life. Regret is that compelling instinct which fills soul in the writing. To me writer is one who is unsuccessful in his life. When a writer can't achieve anything in his life he writes inspirational books. When he can't settle his life affairs, he writes fiction so that he can reason himself. When he wishes to master the nature and fails, he writes poetry. Hence writer lives in a universe where everything is followed by failures.

  Despite all this, sometimes when I am alone I think of becoming a great writer who is respected everywhere he goes, and for achieving it I had to be good at failures because failure represent how good I am at writing and how far can I go in this small universe of writers. I want to feel that pain which will help me to stray away from the norms of so called "modern society" so that I an always look at them with hate and hostility. So that I can deliver them the same pain with my feelings such that they will respect me just to keep themselves away from me. Only then I will be able to write what they call

"Writing".

Author's Note

Important note : This story is about a writer who is upset with the world not about me. And just because this writer is upset he sees things with hatred because he thinks these people are responsible for his failures and tries to write against them which make him a great write because now he is not writing he is expressing his feelings which are much more power than mere words.
Please don't forget to write reviews...its important to me

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

I for one am glad you decided to be vulnerable and put your true thoughts on paper. The human condition is messy at times; chaotic, difficult- etc, etc,. I needed the inspiration that I am not the only one who ever had doubts about my motivation, goals or dreams. Keep up the good work; your on the right track. I am a very newbie writer with just three poems so you are to me a great success.

[PhoenixDown]

You are what they call a marketer, not a writer.

[Usman Muhammad]

That is good for me , at least i will learn to write something value able worth of marketing

[Patricia Stephmore]

A nice story.....every writer goes through this phase but writing is like letting go of every kind of pain and sorrow, laughter and ecstasy and all kinds of feelings through words.....a writer does face a tough time ...facing critics and yet , no one should stop writing. A nice piece and well written.

[Usman Muhammad]

Thankyou Patricia for your kind review

[Nicole Schuster]

I feel this way all the time - wondering why I write, writing things that betray my beliefs and views, finally putting down words that when read, can make me hurt all over again. I really like this piece :)

[Usman Muhammad]

ThankYou Nicole ..we all share same thoughts

[Eryn ♪]

I'm sorry, while I'm sure the concept of this is great, I have a hard time reading through it. It's just kinda choppy. And I hate to be a grammar Nazi, but the fact that all the 'i''s are lowercase really catches me and makes me less immersed in the actual telling. I'm sure with time you will get better with this, so please keep on writing.

[JayG]

• When they(critics) say writing is an art which only few possess,

Forgetting that I've not seen a critic say that, it's bullshit. I'll let a few writers speak for me:
• “It’s none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way.”
~Ernest Hemingway
• “Self-expression without craft is for toddlers.”
~Rosanne Cash
• “There’s no such thing as a born writer. It’s a skill you’ve got to learn, just like learning how to be a bricklayer or a carpenter.”
~ Larry Brown
• Literature flourishes best when it is half a trade and half an art.
~ William Ralph Inge

Writing is an art, but only if the artist knows how to use the tools of the profession. You can improve a tool. You can consciously ignore a tool. But you cannot use the tool you don't know exists. As Mark Twain observed, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

A talent for writing means only that once trained it may prove useful. But you will never learn if have talent in great or tiny amounts till you train it. And that training comes from study and practice, not some magical gift. I strongly suggest you read the excerpt from Dwight Swain's, Techniques of the Selling Writer, for a better understanding of what's involved.

You spoke of how the story you write moves you emotionally, and how you wanted the reader to feel the same way. The problem is that because you know the story intimately, including all the character's backgrounds and intent, it works, no matter how good or bad the writing is. And because you do you, if you're like most hopeful writers you tend to focus on making the reader know what happens—story, in other words.

But the reader isn't interested in the events. They want to know what the protagonist intends to do as-a-result-of-the-events. they're seeking to live the story in real time. So our goal isn't to make them know, it's to make them feel as the protagonist does, need what they need, and, and know the situation and people as your protagonist does.

This article may clarify why we need to make the reader know the situation that way:
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/inside-out-the-grumpy-writing-coach/

• So that i can deliver them the same pain with my feelings

No reader cares about your feelings. They're seeking to be entertained by being made to feel. Suppose you read a horror book. Do you care how the writer feels? Do you read to learn that the protagonist is frightened? Or are you hoping that the writing terrify YOU?

Your primary goal is to give your reader an emotional experience. And the more intense the better they like it. A reader is never happier than when they stop reading, filled with shock and saying, "Oh no...now what do we do?"

And learning HOW to accomplish it is the first step toward doing it.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

[Usman Muhammad]

Sir if you read Author's note i hope your point of view will change

[JayG]

I read it. But your intent is irrelevant, because intent never makes it past the keyboard. All the reader gets is what the words suggest to them. And based on those words it appears that you have some misconceptions as to how to present a story to best effect. You seem to be focused on YOUR emotion, which matters not at all to the reader.

I can only go by my own experience, which is that when people feel as you do, they are usually not grounded in craft.

Obviously, I can't know you or your background. And in the end, what I said is that any writer must learn their craft, because the writing skills we're given in our schooling are nonfiction skills, and pretty much useless for fiction. So if you are, and simply venting...sorry.

I can only say that your observations on why people write fiction and inspirational books, etc, doesn't match up with the writers and other writing professionals I've met.

[Usman Muhammad]

Thanks for your review , i believe that every writer has not same story, no author shares the history of struggling before getting famous. Some just write a book and get famous and afterwards nothing... every author has his own reasons. I believe in complete freedom of writing where your writing is not based on some universal principles, but on your personal experiences. My motto is to forget everything before writing and just write what your mind tells you to, not to write some same theme stories. Writing is creativity and only creativity, create your own stories , make them powerful, let emotions flow

[andrew mitchell]

an interesting auto biography of this fictional writer. his views are obscured from his hatred cos some writers are successful and writing is very hard to appease the audience, the readers and to get a foot in the door with publishers. i like the narrative take on this . nice work.

[Daphnee]

Wow. I love how this is a different point of view from whats "regular". Its unique, its new, its you. Writing is having a voice and writing what you think, despite popular belief, is using the voice you have. Well done!! Keep writing cause you are amazing!!!!!!!

[Free Spirited]

I like the emotion you put in the texts and how it all flows nicely. Keep writing my friend.

[Usman Muhammad]

Thank you.

[Rosaliine]

Wow, this is really good :) please keep writing :)

[Usman Muhammad]

Thanks Rosaliine.....with help of people like you i will try my best

[Rosaliine]

Good, I look forward to it :)

[Rhia Barton]

Loving the imagery, Usman! The questions the writer is asking themselves are very thought-provoking and as a writer, it makes me ask myself the same questions. For being the first story that you've written in English, it's very interesting and very well written! As you practice your written English more and more, you'll find that the punctuation and grammar side of things will come to you easier. English is an incredibly difficult language for a non-native speaker to learn so seriously, Kudos to you for your first attempt! I look forward to reading more :)

[Usman Muhammad]

Thanks for your encouragement and yes English in terms of grammar is a difficult language

[Rhia Barton]

Don't worry though, you'll get better at it and soon it'll be second nature! You're doing great :)