Trex

<p>"Your honor, my only defense is that is was meant as a joke."<br>

"You mean to say you released the T-Rex intending.. it to be funny?"<br>

"Yes, your honor."<br>

"OBJECTION!"<br>

"On what grounds?"<br>

"Your honor, it's unclear whether or not a T-Rex understands humor."<br>

"Sus--"<br>

"Well, I told it a joke!"<br>

"Your honor, that is ridiculous!"<br>

".. depends on the joke, I guess."<br>

"On the T-Rex as well, your honor."<br>

"Your honor, this is silly!"<br>

"It's the opinion of the court that silly or not, this could bear on the verdict."<br>

"Your honor, I did tell the T-Rex a joke."<br>

"And did it find it humorous?"<br>

"OBJE--"<br>

"It did, your honor, almost certainly."<br>

"How was the defendant able to tell?"<br>

"It laughed, your honor."<br>

"That's clear enough. Let the record show that the T-Rex was able to understand humor. Now let's hear the defendant tell the court how he came to release the aforementioned T-Rex from it's confinement the day of.."<br>

******************* The Day They Served Marmelade ************<br>

"How long have we been friends, Willy?"<br>

"Well.. hell, it's been almost two years now, Grey."<br>

"So we've been friends for quite some time, wouldn't you agree?"<br>

"Sure."<br>

"So if I told you I just came up with about the best joke in the world, you'd want to hear it, right?"<br>

"Sure."<br>

"And you'd swear not to tell anyone else about it?"<br>

"Well, why no--"<br>

"Because it would be a mean thing to do to a friend, telling someone else the best joke in the world your friend just made up, wouldn't it?"<br>

"Shoot. Yeah, it'd be unfriendly, like."<br>

"Right you are, Willy, right you are."<br>

"So what's the joke, Grey?"<br>

"Well, remember last winter when we did the foundations for the carnivore pens?"<br>

"The big one or the small ones?"<br>

"The big one."<br>

"Yeah, sure, I remember."<br>

"What if I told you I placed a couple of recording devices here and there when we did and set them to record any loud sounds?"<br>

"What, like the--"<br>

"Just so. They just ran out of battery a few days ago, but they managed to upload around 40 different sounds before that."<br>

"What did they pick up? The T-Rex roaring and such?"<br>

"Roaring, footfalls, some weird whistling, even got one of it breathing. Must've been standing right on top of one of the recording devices. Sounds like it's right behind you."<br>

"Well, I'll be damned, Grey."<br>

"You know the emergency message they broadcast if something happens?"<br>

"The "Please move in good order towards the emergency evacuation areas." thing?"<br>

"That's the one, Willy."<br>

"What about it?"<br>

"Well, I found a crate of ODINs--"<br>

"ODINs?"<br>

"The car alarm that says "You have come to close to ODIN!" and things like that if something gets too close. Proximity trigger. Well I found a crate of them in Supply a few months back. Must've been a bad order or something. Anyway, I've placed them all around the island."<br>

"Why?"<br>

"Because I changed the proximity trigger message from the "ODIN" things to a playlist of all the T-Rex sounds. Whenever anything gets within a few steps of one of the things, it'll play a T-Rex sound at random."<br>

"Yeah?"<br>

"And they are all linked to the emergency message service. When that plays, they all start up their proximity alarm."<br>

"Wow."<br>

"I threw in a few other sounds like "AH THAT THING JUST ATE SOMEONE!" and "There has been a malfunction with the T-Rex confinement. I repeat, there has been a malfunction with the T-Rex confinement."<br>