Instead of Your Light

So often I find myself wishing things would shatter
so that I can pick up the pieces and make it whole
It's just a thought that keeps coming up in my mind
but in a way, it's a beautiful one

(At least to me)

It seems like I can't find the words
if there's no music
I need Coltrane to grasp the moments
to write the right words down

 

. . . and of whiskey, smoke and longing
there's so much to be said
but mostly I find myself writing
because it's the only way I feel alive
at least when living with dear Lady Midnight

and her room full of candles 

.. instead of your light


But dearest love, nowadays I live alone
wearing the same old clothes that you once wore
before you left me with just this fading soul
knowing you were living somewhere out on the long road
I find myself left standing underneath the same sky as you

just with the pale glow of a lonesome moon to lead me on

instead of your light

 

So, here we are, at the point where the evening light
and being somewhere at the end of a road somehow
sort of blend together and the knowing that beauty sometimes lie in moment 

just before it's already passed you by

right before the entire circle of living, and of life
hasn't gotten to you just yet
and while you know time isn't dying,

and of how beauty in the fading

could be why even  though the the starlight 

still are burning away in the sky

it just does'nt feel like it used to do, 

when you're looking up through the darkness

instead of your light

And I believe when I catch you others, who are either gone for now
and those who never got this far at all
with that little smile and shaking of your head
saying simply that you see the irony
but it's not time to get serious about it
no.. not just yet, there's still ways up ahead

where of burning away and time going astray
is just part of it all, like lightning on the far side
of a sky that's still burning blue and faded silver

.. just might be a dream that you'd love to remember

but know will slip away before you can make it stay

living faded like this makes for dreams like that

  instead of living in your light