Death! Take Me

They were all wrong. All of them. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me, there never had been, there never would be. I believed in the light, stayed away from the darkness. I lived on my own, but it wasn't as though I dependent on others, I could take care of myself. I had people that loved me, sure they weren't always surrounding me, but I knew that they were there if anything ever got bad. Things wouldn't get bad though, never, I had to make them happy, make them proud. There was nothing more that I wanted, I wanted my father to stand up with pride, to look around at the people around him and proudly proclaim, "That's my kid." 

No, it didn't hurt to know that he never did say those words to me, but that was fine. I understood, he was busy, had to work. That was fine, I was grown now, didn't need someone to pat my back. I was fine, yes, sometimes I felt so empty. Sometimes everything was just too big, or too small; I always felt something burning inside of me. But that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me, they were wrong about that much. I knew it.

Sometimes, I question now. I look at what was happening and it truly shocked me. Did I really want to be here? Really? Truly?

I could be somewhere else, but this, everything around me, it reeked of emptiness. There was nothing I could do anymore without that haunting feeling creeping up my spine. The emptiness that sucked me in and never ever let me go. A trap spun by a genius spider, sticky and strong. 

Sometimes I doubt myself. Something I've never done before, why should I doubt myself when I am so certain? When I know for sure that I am correct? Now, though, I can't help but wonder. Was it all just a horrid mistake?

I don't know anymore. It scares me. Still, I know there's nothing wrong with me. It's perfectly normal for people to go through this. I was strong, I'd walk it on my own. Then they'd see. 

I stare at things now. Would it be so bad? What would happen? It would be great if...?

Why not?

Staring is different from doing. That much is for sure. I know now that I was wrong. But it's too late now. Help might have been obtained a few months ago, when this all started, but now it won't.

I know this just as much as any other fact.

Where has everything gone? After all, it used to be so bright, so proud. I worked so hard for it. So hard for what I'd rightfully earned, but I'd never truly gotten what I wanted. I still hadn't, never would.

It's over now. I don't even know how I came to this. Where is everyone? The people I thought would be here when I needed them? But they're not. I thought they'd be there, and yet they've left me. Or were they ever there? 

Death beseeches me. Calls me, I feel it breathing down my neck. And yet, I'm not scared. It promises something to me, something I'd forgotten how to feel. It promises something, while all I have is emptiness. Is it so wrong? To hope for Death to come? Dearest Death, come quickly! Take me far away! To heaven to hell! Whatever may come to be! I just want to be free...

Death! Take me.

Reviews

[closed]

This is dark Story, darker even than your poem, Flames. God only knows what hell you've endured over the course of recent time, but I want you to know that there truly is always hope. I believe writing is the best way for you to cope with your conflicting selves.

You do well when you write stories fromt he point of a character's introspection, you're really -very- good at that.

Just know, no matter how dark things get, form here on out, you still, and will always have a friend in me.

-Dream

[Hailey]

Dont listen to ur inner self, this really was a great write.
I really liked the structure and variation of the sentences, it made it flow nicely and helped the emotion come through that much more.
I enjoyed reading this, I hope to read more from you soon :)

[H-Jonesy]

A good write, i can see the persons confusion and frustration. well done