Away

Tearing

that's what it is.

This stabbing in me.

Grab the pieces

Gather them up.

For me,

Just for me.

Stop, 

Wait.

Rip them up.

Take them away.

Away.

Stabbing

yes, again and again.

Ripping in my flesh

Ripping in my soul.

Watch the blood pour,

Watch the blood leak.

For me,

Just for me.

Drip,

Again.

Pooling at my feet.

Wash it away,

Away.

Ripping

The pain, oh the pain.

Burning at my mind.

Burning deep inside.

Watch it spread,

Watch it build.

For me,

Just for me.

Rip, Tear, Shred.

Fills me with dread.

Take me away, far

Away.

Burning

It consumes me, so easily.

So easily.

Dragging me from reality.

Dragging me to safe lies.

Watch me disappear.

Watch me fade.

It does this.

For me,

Just for me.

Nothingness, it builds.

Nothingness, it lulls.

Are you here?

Do you care?

Care that I'm so far away?

Away?

Dragging

I think, do I want this?

Still?

Whispering, yes.

Whispering, come.

Watch: there's no choice.

Watch: it steals me.

For me,

Just me.

Still? Still Just me?

Still? Still alone?

Particles missing,

and where have I gone?

Away?

Whispering

I whisper now.

I am no longer me.

Thinking: Am I?

Thinking: Who?

Watch as I fade.

Watch as I die.

For me,

Not me.

Not anymore.

Not ever again.

I'm faded.

I'm gone.

And who will care that I'm locked away?

Away?

Tearing

that's what it is.

This stabbing in me.

Grab the pieces

Gather them up.

For me,

Just for me.

Stop, 

Wait.

Rip them up.

Take them away.

Away.

Reviews

[Mason]

Again, I see repetition playing an important role in your writing. In this case, several roles. Whether it's a feeling that you're demanding something, so you repeat for emphasis. Watch, Watch...For me, Just for me...Take me away, far, Away...When you repeat "Ripping," "Shreading," "Burning," and "Dragging," the imagery is burned into the reader's mind; such painful experiences. When I hear, "faded," and "Whispering," and "Thinking," and "Nothingness," there is an echo, as if I hear you fading and disappearing, and your voice becoming softer as this pain, whatever it is, is destroying you and leaving you all alone and bereft. There's a lot to this poem. So I can't adequately analyze the whole thing, but this is my attempt at a summary. I loved it!

[closed]

brilliant in its deep dark introspection.

and in an attempt to compensate for my absence story,

everything you allude to in your poem, i've experienced myself. That's how I understand you.

fascinatingly written.

-Dream

[TheKaylaPup]

love the poem, love the self convo.

They say its healthy to talk to yourself, it when you start responding you should be concerned, except I think thats it'd be rude not to respond. So thats it, your eiether rude or crazy, thats how it is. Guess that makes us crazy.

[Annie29]

Great Rhyme Sceme.

[Hailey]

the format was interesting and the choice of words was perfect, a very interesting poem here :) nice job
and you know what? people who have conversations with themselves have special powers. Be proud!

[Twisted Soul]

Awesome!

[Manda]

aww! nice! sad but yet so very good! keep it up!

Pretty good...sad though

[Keevan]

hm. cool poem :)

[StoryTailor]

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