Seasons....

My thoughts on the seasons

Summer is my solace

Blue skies and crisp blue sea

Crashing waves and clean white sand

Cool water to my knees

 

Winter has it's merits

In due course, we all seek rest

To hibernate in quilts and pillows

Hot soup and buttery toast

 

Spring renews the mind and soul

We open our eyes to see

New life, sweet love, old clearing

As honey to the Bee

 

Autumn is a changing

Colours rich and rare

They signify death for new

Life begins again, you see.

 

 

Author's Note

thanks for any constructive suggestions :) however in some area's while I do see the suggestions as helpful, I have only partially edited the poem, as I feel it was changing too much and going away from the sense of where my thoughts came from in writing the original piece... I stress that I am very pleased to have received all imput & it helps to make me a better writer & ask everyone to continue caring enough to offer suggestions.. :)

Reviews

[J. James Reider]

I like how upbeat you were for each season... I find that hard personally because Autumn and Winter depress me.... in the winter stanza you could consider rewording the last line to "hot soup and toast that's buttery" to help it rhyme with the last line of your other three stanzas.. I also think it is really good the way it is!

[Bear]

I truly enjoy this poem for it, captures the good, found in each season of the year all around the globe. Been many a year since I was knee deep in the ocean waves, still love "hibernating" in my quilts with pillows and enjoy a good bowl of soup and that buttery toast at all times of year but, it warms one's soul especially in the cold months of the year. Spring brings out the little Red Squirrels in my neck of the world and they antics are no doubt brought on by the scents and warmth of Spring... Autumn, has been my favorite time of year all my 44 years... the changing colors of the leaves, their scents upon the breeze... my one last time of year to be out and about enjoying the sights before the cold winter winds bring the frosty snows. A FINE write... I like a great deal. ;~) Bear

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Bravo! I love the way you express the seasons and the sensual use of strong descriptives, especially winter "hibernate in quilts and pillows / Hot soup and buttery toast" I also loved the use of the adjective "crisp" to describe the blue of the sea because it appeals to the nature of the sea as well as its color. Great poem.

[Michael X]

this is a beautiful poem about seasons, and has such a loving sense of capture
in the words, blissfully projected, and inspired, since you specifically asked for suggestions,
may i offer my humble opinion.

Summer's my solace....... shortening this sentence to capture the essence,
Blue skies and clear blue seas.........change crisp to clear or something more fitting to the nature add and "s" to seas
Crashing waves, clean white sand...........remove "and"
Cool water splashing my knees.............change "to" to a verb like splashing

Winter has it's merits..................remove "yet" not necessary,
In due course, we all seek rest........................ add a comma
To hibernate in quilts and pillows... ad "to" to the beggining to allow the flow to keep pace
To indulge in hot soup and buttery toast......i try to never use words like "thats" because most of the time not nec. the sentences themselves seemed incomplete

Spring renews the mind and soul
We open our eyes to see
New life, sweet love, old clearing
As honey captivates the Bee.... change "to"

Autumn is time for change.. remove "a" because its grammitcally incorrect
with colours rich and rare... add "with" at the beginning to keep flow
They signify death for new... i would say "They signify death for new life" and change the last sentence
Nature begins again, you see...........remove life and say nature.


just some suggestions for perspective only, as its always great to see things from as many sides as possible,
i felt your words to come from the heart with caring sense of creativeness,
although, if you changed nothing, i would still feel the same emeotional impact, because
you have captured the vision so well, since the form is so well laid out, i would punctuate
the entire piece and remove the center text, in any regards, a pleasure to read, and delve into.

[Albert Freeman]

'signify' instead of 'signifies'

Other than that I love the beauty of your words. Sums up nicely how I feel about the seasons as well. Autumn is definitely my favorite. xxxx