Sunshine/Better days

Love me sunshine.

love me great.

wipe the grime from my eyes.

so i can see your face.

let me love you.

get rid of all your hate

maybe I could change you soon

I guess I'll have to wait

let me see you from your eyes

you said you needed space

Yeah I guess it takes time

It will be my saving grace

I'll tell you now

I'll tell you straight

I've always felt down

Hope I can meet you one day

My lover dear

help me deal with the pain

I never fear

because I never have to deal with shame.

hope you can laugh with me

because I'm pretty strange

Hope you can deal with me 

because we've had better days

Reviews

[_rabbitofhabit (1word)]

This is before reading anything, but if you are stuck between two potential titles, would the name “The Sun Shines on Better Days” work? Or something like that?

The grammar is a little off, like when you didn’t capitalize “I,” or the beginning of sentences.

I guess my suggested title doesn’t work.

I like it when you have to read poems twice. This was one I read twice. It was not an overly complicated piece. I just wanted to read it again with all the pieces revealed and in mind. I thought this was a nice and personal poem. If I had to be critical and rude, I would say it is not my favorite of yours. I appreciate the idea expressed/the story told, but I did not think the grammar or writing held up compared to your other pieces. I am not, in any way, trying to trash this piece or your work, however. But maybe this is one work that needs to be listened to as opposed to read.

[Kim S.]

you said you needed space
Yeah I guess it takes time
It will be my saving grace

I really like this part, I can feel this write.