Being Civilized

I am sick

Of being blamed

For the fact that my daughter

Doesn't have a father

 

I figure if he can't step up on his own

Why Bother?

It's not my job to keep him in her life

While he goes around spreading lies

As to why

He's not included

He's the one that secluded himself

 

The times my daughter was in bad health

He wasn't there

The times she said she wanted him

He didn't care

The times he said he would be there to get her

He never showed

So many events that have occured in her life

That he'll, never, know

 

So I'm the one that has to look in them big brown eyes

Trying to supply

All the answers as to why daddy isn't around

I can't make it right

But I can continue to fight

To stabilize her as she ages

 

I'm blessed to witness all the stages

From walking to talking

Watching the personality unfold

I've never told her anything negative regarding him

She's at an age

Where she can begin to form her own opinion

 

I can't force him to be at her side

Can't force that fatherly pride

I can only reside on her side as a mother

 

I can't make up for what's lost

I definitely regret the fact she has to pay the cost

For what happened between him and myself

 

A life isn't something you can just put on the shelf

Hoping somebody else

Will come along and claim them as their own

 

It will always be known that's not what's real

She will always feel that void of completion

From the thoughts that can't seem to find deletion

 

Yet in the meantime....

 

I have all these fingers pointed at me

Saying "why can't YOU be more civilized for the sake of your child"

Yet when all the facts are compiled

The truth is....

 

I'm not the one that chose to walk

Here I stand

Stabilized

Willing to talk about the situation

Hoping that one day

Mediation can be met

For far too much time has been spent

Pointing fingers to blame

When a child that shares the same blood

Still sits longing for her daddy's love

Reviews

[Kimberly Tickle ~~~ Dia..]

Li, girl you did your thang with this one... And i'm glad you put this out there because its alot of father's who aren't in their child's life not knowing that in some way that may effect the child, but yet again you put this you here and you tell these women who think they need to run up behind these men so that their child can have someone to call daddy, you tell them that women can do it on their own, and that their are plenty of women who are strong and independent and can take care of themseleves and their child...Great Write Li Li..You kicked but on this one girl....


~~~~Kimberly Tickle~~~Diamonds Of Life

[Tiffany Pochatko]

Well, I thought I would stop by a writer's page that I have heard a lot about, and I'm glad I did. I think a lot of people already commented about your mothering skills and how great a job you are doing, but I think your poem is swell too ;]. I love how you kept the rhymes up and flowing...it made this really easy to read through.
"I can�t make up for what is lost
I regret the fact she has to pay the cost
For what happened between him and myself
A life isn�t something you can just put on the shelf"
I really love those lines. Very good job.

[Thug Life]

yo Li Li!!!! i aint been round much lately but im glad istopped by.. i read this pretty quick i gotta admit then i jus sat back n closed my eyes n let ur voice tell me the story! that was nutti short of amazin!!! full of pain, and i can sense anger in it but it seems like u holdin back cuz at the same time thurrs love for ur daughter mixed in hurr... hope that made sense. but again very powerful and i really really enjoyed hearin u say this

[Monique Jackson]

Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl!!!! Hmmm I know EXACTLY where you coming from!!! And it is such a shame that the one who created life is not a aprt of the life they help create! It angers me and it saddens me that I cannot fill that missing void for my children. BUT I will not be too blame for what their father chooses NOT to do! All I can do...All WE can do is be the best MOTHERS they ever had! That is all I ever had was a a strong Mother...even when my dad "was" in the picture he never knew how to be a Dad. I felt better off with out him, So, why force a man to be a Fatehr when our kids might be just better off without them. You just have to let GOD be their father because it's obvious we cannot be anything more than Mothers to them. The rest is not up to us but to them to step in or step out either way we are responsible for the lives we have created!!! ; )

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Hello.. this is a very good poem.. I enjoyed hearing you speak it.It is true and sad..Well said.. all things needed spoken.
Why do people act this way?How can a father or mother in many cases ignore their own blood?
This is so emotional for me.. I truly am glad I read and so proud of you..
You are blessed.. so is your child.

Chloe
xoxo

[Invisible Ink]

This is great! In this society so many children grow up without 2 parents, I was one... but having one parent who loves and cares for you can be enough, and you are one. I was wondering if that was a photo of your daughter? If so, she is just beautiful and you are doing a great job!

[Spiritual Warrior]

Dang girl! this is what I am going through now with my daughter. You've said everything that i feel or would say! Girl this poem touched me and was a good inspiration and motivation because like you said the fingers are pointed at you but you not the one that decided to walk away! Keep ya head up and blessings on your creative flow!

[Brian Verchot]

brapbrapbrap!
Nice, very beautiful.

[St. James]

growin up i only had one mother and one father and both resided in a single beautifully strong woman. takes a dick to be a man but a whole lot more to be a father. u seem to handle the job flawlessly. respect girl. respect.... and remember what pac said: u gotta keep ya head up

[J. Hampton]

Li-Li~
You speak with the voice of a thousand Mothers of the children of the lost art
~ of Fatherhood !
I feel this to my core....my oldest ( the toddler pic, & the one on left in graduation pic) has so much bitterness and hate for her father...it pains...( me). The things he did to her are unbelievable ...!!!! I could fill this page...1st time I started to review this piece...I did!!
I had to remind myself..." I'm reviewing Li-Lis' poem".. Not telling her my life story.But your pain & emotion met mine in the mix.
Wish I could say I was civil...back in the day , I was no joke, and went ill on him plenty.
Honestly, if I had a gun....woulda shot him for sure.... Now almost 20 yrs later I feel basically pity.
Too many kids growing up fatherless....men straight up outta their place !!!

I let my daughter see things as they fell.... I fear the effect of never having a man to look up to , neither Grandfather, no Uncles...effecting her ability to have healthy relationships.
Time will tell...I wait I pray and thank god he's given me the ability to forgive.
I see men using how their "baby mama" acts as an excuse to not stand up and be a man....cuz oh...perhaps they have to take a lil' something ....for the mess they made !

Hang in ....and hang on...but ya gotta pray for him to get it right. Cuz if you don't who will ?

Blesssssssssssssss

[R. MonaLeza]

Very well put, Li. I've been there too. My kids dad hasn't had contact with them for over 16 years and as hard as it was to see their pain, they grew up knowing love, because I gave them enough to make up for two parents. Your baby girl is going to do just fine cause she has you for a mama. As they get older they make their own decisions to let the pain go, they revel in the knowledge that mom's love is precious, giving, and unconditional. Keep doing what your doing, it's all that will ever matter. Her love for people in her life is defined by the example you set. He, on the other hand will wake up one day and realize what he has missed, and that is his cross to bear. It's sad when they realize it and understand they can't go back and do it over. You have the strength of legions, because you have the gift of her love in return.

You're awesome, mama!