Stars That Light the Darkness

Just a test. Trying to see how this format is taken by the readers.

The sound of speech,
no longer the resolution of comprehension.
The apparition of foretold prophesies,
now the reality of the common.
Under the perception of evolving universes,
the parrallel unification mobilizes.
Faintly, from what solely seemed a particle of dust,
the formation of brethren begins.

"The creation of heaven and earth,
will give birth to the breath of man.
United the devoted will stand,
as justification serves its course

through the sands of time and tides.
The tribes of different faces
will build walls from the stones of thy own flesh.

Do not fret!
For thee of little belief may be blind to see.

If darkness is taken in thine one eye conferred for light,
to the night of few or deficient stars, thou shalt be cast.
Without celestial luminance, there is no spiritual illumination.
Without perceptual experience, there is only thyself."

Reviews

[no tell writer]

If darkness is taken in thine one eye conferred for light,
to the night of few or deficient stars, thou shalt be cast.
Without celestial luminance, there is no spiritual illumination.
Without perceptual experience, there is only thyself."

LOVE THESE lines right here, this is wonderful

[Unspoken poet]

AMAZING write!! I enjoyed this write

[Dinesh Kumar]

Excellent piece of writing
Really enjoyed

[Joshua Lean]

Great write.I enjoyed it.

[exotic flotsam]

Superb insight into the inescapable truth of all in our universe. We are irrovocably connected. A challenging topic. Your dip into our existence, and our all emerging from old stars. A ponderous pen. Delicate, yet confident.

[Yira Simone]

(cracks knuckles)

It has been awhile since I've reviewed poetry, so I might be rusty. The first stanza appears to be the opening or the hindsight the reader could use in understanding why the art and event of creation was so powerful. Before us there was nothing, and boom, there were people lighting the way to civilization like stars in the heavens. I like how you say that the united will stand, survive in the light, but those that are hell bent on negativity, will remain closed off in the darkness. This coud be a page from the bible, but I know that it is not. I think that if I heard this while reading it would make a greater impact. Your word choice is much stronger and your flow seems to weave, linear, and non-linear like the stars themselves.

I am off to bed now. I will write more about this piece ASAP.

[Li Li]

I must ask Gandre.... who has written this before I? And.. is there a such thing as a "fragmented" soul?

[Gandré]

but this, already somebody wrote before you: perceptual experience, and ego - write something - what you invent, not a repetition. I'm sorry, this did not create a rhythm, not a memory. It is clumsy in it's style, it goes not like da da da daaa da da da daaa nothing like that. But some fragmented souls might love this. There is always poetry for someone.

[A.T.B.]

your edge is getting sharper and sharper word by word. As always, impressive, Li Li ...:-)