One

*not completely finished... will get back to later.

I decided to take a walk

Sit and talk with the people

In hopes of building a literary steeple

not for Christianity

for Humanity

What's left of a dying breed

 

So many walk forward to get to the future

I decided to turn around

Taking a look into the past

Honoring all the time surpassed

There's a story behind each grain in the hour glass

 

I have to ask why there's such a division

Why does black and white cause a collision?

Why has man taken it upon themself to form decision

When religion has no disclaimer against race or creed?

Why do we have so many children we can't feed

So many infected with the untreatable HIV?

If only the government would tell us how "untreatable" it really is

So many officials I'd love to quiz

Because to my understanding, the cure does exist.

A constraint so the "minorities" can be dismissed,

May You Rest-In-Peace.

A devised way to decrease the population.

Hey, maybe the medical bills serve as compensation,

A government plan that offers a "lifetime vacation!!!".

 

Where is the fine print?

 

Somehow, somewhere, there became a great divide

The loss of love became an epidemic worldwide

Instead of receiving the hands that provide

We were obscured with the hands of bribe and deceit

Hands that proclaimed war just to praise defeat

 

We all came from One, and will die as One

Look up to different Gods, in the end only able to rely on

One

 

We stand not aside, but upon our mother

How do we say we love her?

The Atomic Bomb, a perfect example

Hell, let's blow up another!!

If not

One another

 

We've grown beyond change

Don't have enough courage to rearrange

What we've become

Let's just admire the web we have spun

Instead of being the One

Who creates a reaction?

Author's Note

Please don't be too harsh! I'm trying to figure out a way to write it so you understand the spoken word side of the piece. Still, all help is appreciated.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

Instead of receiving the hands that provide
We were obscured with the hands of bribe and deceit
We all came from One, and will die as One
The Atomic Bomb, a perfect example
Hell, let's blow up another!!
We've grown beyond change
Don't have enough courage to rearrange
what wise words ,i could feel your anger and i do not blame you,the world has gone mad ,man is shameless ,AIDS and wars are the best thing to cut on boosting population ,its not a secret there are economic theories,lets get rid of the excess,so they can live a good life,God this world surely has gone mad,i loved your writing and your thoughts

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

You did a good job in questioning life and adding the tree of life was a nice touch I only thought it would be more mystical, and you would express the climb from Malkoth to Keter and how we are the one in through the path.

That said your wording is excellent and your thoughts clear and profound.

[d]

This SUCKS!!!!! (((((((((SIKE:-D))))))))) Putting the questioning of OUR existence in poetic form can be tricky, but you've mastered the magic that it takes to make it happen...had my attention from beginning to end (^_^)...like Orlando I didn't see anything wrong...WRITE ON sis!!! WRITE ON!!!

[Carl]

Hey another amazing peice from the pen of LiLi. Thought provoking caring and even though you looked in the past this peice still faces forward. I really like peices that you can walk into. " I decided to take a walk" That opens up so many avenues and possibilites. Where are you going ? Why are you going there? what do you hope to see. What lessons can we learn. Lets take a closer look at the peice "One" by LiLi.

The opening stanza The writer tells us that she wants to walk and talk with peole to make a steple not in the church sense but in the literary sese. Gaining knowledge to what makes people tick and why are world is the way it is. I like the notion that you could be creating a reference book for the future.

Stanza two we are introduced to the "Sands of Time" as the writer takes a trip back instead of forward and comes away with the knowledge that there is a story behind every grain. But this trip back in time has left the same questions that we have today. Why is there division? Why do black and white cause a collision? (love that) And why has man become God and put himslf in charge of all he surveys? There is that well known saying "That if man can't understand it then God's got it wrong".

LiLi makes a great point that Religon has no disclaimer on race and creed. It's man who has moved the goal posts or watered down the text to make it fit comfortabley with lifestyle or understanding. How many times do we here people say "What God really meant to say was this"

LILi breaks boudries with this peace by mentioning AIDS. A brave move indeed and I commend her for it. Again we are back to some people beliving that AIDS is the judgement on society of a jealous GOD. All the money and time and effort that has gone into finding a cure and we appear no further on. People still die of ignorance. it's funny how the biggest desiese in the world has the one of the smallest names.

LiLi mentions the "loss of love" in todays society even the word Love has been watered down. Love is meant to be the most strongest force known to man. A mothers bond with her kids. ( Family breakdown) A husbands love for his wife( marriages ending after only a short time) Love should make us want to go that extra mile
But we want even get out of the chair. Again we come back to God and the greatest act of love the world has known when nails went in to wood via hands so that our past would not affect our future.

An amzing peice of writing
Much love and respect

[beancountersar]

This is a fantastic work. I love the structure, the clever inserts, and the witty rhyme scheme. Truly a jewel of art....
Congrats on using your gift so well!

[Orlando Murcia]

I saw nothing wrong but
a wonderful artistic masterpiece
that show's a lot of anger towards the
hidden truth and the love for those who lost
their lives through sickness

I really loved this piece Lili
it was a very beautiful piece

And yes their is only one God
to rely on at the end

And his name is Jehovah

Excellent job sweetheart!!

Orlando M