Godly Creation

The first time he approached

He placed his hand on my back

He looked at me

I found myself looking into eyes

Instantly giving me inspiration

 

Being poetic...

I could only find one explanation

I saw more soul in his spirit

Than I saw stars in the constellations

Revelations of sincerity

Promises of prosperity

Within the grey twilight of his eyes

I heard my horoscopic parody

 

In basic terminology....

He became my astrology

I found myself in a predicament

Him and I

Two puppets of a heavenly experiment

 

I'm beyond the clouds

The sky

The sun

Existing in a universe

Where two actually become one

 

Scientifically speaking....

A new big bang theory has begun

For everything around me

Became extinct

And all I could think

Was if he were the Milky Way

I'd definitely take a drink

 

Solar energy

Gravitational pull

The moon must have been full

Because my tide is rising

Cosmic showers are devising

 

The wind is blowing

My soul is glowing

Passionate streams begin flowing

As divination began bestowing

A phenominal providence

As intense as an eclipse

Caught in the glimpse of his universe

 

Such a Godly creation....

Reviews

[Sean Allen]

Well, there certainly are a multitude of stars in the constelations.
I like the use of the headngs defining the poem into parts even though the entire poem is very 'cosmic'
The person being described seems to become visible in your descriptions of him.
I don't see this as an encounter with God based on the title.

[Tha Wind AKA VERBAL OX]

AAAAAAH.... u make me wanna go write another "Natures Poetry" piece
im gonna hav to see wut comes out of being in sunshine for a while, an lay something down
its all ways good to see passion, that wuz a very passionate piece like a slight finger touch floating across a silhouette... yeeeeaaaa im gonna leave that alone now

sick write...enjoyd it


1luv...lata

[Walkingblind]

I love this. Being who I am I took it as a description of an encounter with God. No one can
ever describe an incounter with God but I have not doubt that no one can come as
close as you. I like how you fragmented everything, it makes it seem like your
out of breath in awe of him. I'm no great poet but I really like this. Srry if I took your poem the
wrong way, it was raw keep it up.

[beancountersar]

wow....such romantic energy in this one. Very well done..good rhythm....oh..I'll stop. I don't really know what I'm talking about...I'm no poem judge..all I know is that it is GOOD!
Applause!!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

All I know is I"m very honored to be writing a song with you. YOu are very very talented indeed!! this was a fantastic poem. here is my fav part:

A new big bang theory has begun

For everything around me

Became extinct

And all I could think

Was if he were the Milky Way

I'd definitely take a drink

"everything around me became extinct." wow...don't we all feel that when we are in love. i do!!!

Kena
xoxo

[Wildecat]

This is a beautiful poem, a definite pleasure to read.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Very beautiful. Just look at this vass universe. A creation not a big band. Well done

[WindSinger]

I LOVE THIS! Keep writing. You definately have talent!

[☮]

Li Li is back with a vengeance, I see. This is really tight.

You can draw analogies to astronomy and romance quite effectively. The intros to the stanzas like "Scientifically Speaking" added that dramatic touch.

I loved "If he were the Milky Way, I'd definitely take a drink" and "The moon must have been full, Because my tide is rising"

"Two puppets of a heavenly experiment" also made me think.

It seems you were inspired to pen this. Great write.

[Angel's Lady]

The moon must have been full
Because my tide is rising
Cosmic showers are devising

Nicely written...very beautiful to read, wonderful imagery...