I Once Knew Love

I remember how it once felt to have a man hold me in his arms.

How it felt to have his fingers run through my hair until I finally closed my eyes,

escaping to a place where he would also meet me in my dreams.

 

I remember how it felt to awaken to see the things most valuable in life,

laying by my side not far from the touch.

The way his scent lingered in the sheets,

the deepest inhale reciting my mind of his existence.

 

I remember how it felt to go that extra distance for something as simple as a smile.

At that exact moment, I knew he was free of all other worries; knew I was doing my part.

With the smile came the sensation of feeling wanted.

Feeling..... wanted.

 

I remember struggling to make ends meet, just to assure he was able to eat;

Nurturing him as I would a child I carried within the womb.

He was my sun; I was his earth.

 

I remember being choked until I was unable to breathe.

Being held against my will when I knew it was time to leave.

The way it sounded when glass shattered against the wall;

how it felt walking upon each splinter as it cut into the ball of my feet.

 

I remember how it felt to be complete as I hid each bruise,

knowing the hands of time would soon make this a moment of the past.

How it felt not to talk because my jaw was locked,

never longing for medical attention to bring what I believed to be,

negative attention.

It was my responsiblity to protect him from harm.

Ironic.

 

The scent of the sheet soon brought nightmares.

The fingers in my hair now brought pain.

I longed to see him leave to be left alone.

The mirror no longer revealed an image I admired.

 

I once knew love.......

Love never knew me.

 

Reviews

[Walkingblind]

Every poem you post is so wise they make me want to be
a walking encyclopedia. This one has such emotion in it
it makes me want to do more then thrive. I've grown up with
women who've been hurt by the one they loved, but still I
never understood how they felt until know. Your a strong
woman I'm so happy that this is over now, but the long term
effects must tear you up. Be blessed Li Li or Alicia.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Wow! This one made my eyes tear up. It was so emotional and raw, and cut to the core. You are very good, very good. This one reminded me of my ex, I felt as if I was his mother sometimes, helped him with bills, and food, and he borrowed my car and my cell phone. Abuse is an ugly thing, whether physical or mental, and they both can leave lasting scars.

this poem is not a bunch of emotions or thoughts or ideas haphazardly written and thrown on cafe, it's refined, clean, and i can tell you worked hard on it. good job.

"It was my responsiblity to protect him from harm.

Ironic."

one of the best lines. amazing.

[J. Hampton]

You have illustrated ...the "thin-line" so incredily well
how quickly the very things that held completeness .. carry flash-backs of regret....pain and
something in that paralyzes us emotionally for a while.

Kudos ma...

blessssssssssssss

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

we are at our most expressive best when going back in time and deep inside ourselves to attempt to expose raw experience...

this is painful truth. and sad. so sad...I wish for you a reflection of yourself that comes from a place of complete adoration...

great spiral of a piece...I wish for you a stairway to the heavens, to the sun worthy of you...

[Ivory]

Wow... This piece really got to me deeply. I once knew love like this myself. I took so much and gave so much of myself as well. Trying to convience myself that i was being loved, but in the end i never really felt it at all. Thank you for sharing this. Excellent write : )

[A.T.B.]

I think you have chosen the right format for this poem. The lines cut through the page with no aesthetic deflections; you've put the domestic violence scene bare on stage for all to see. The narrator seems detached and solemn, maybe convinced that such is her destiny. Because of the impassive narration, I personally would try this poem in the third personal singular, thus allowing the reader to ponder the images you so beautifully painted standing in a distance.
I would write this line:
escaping to a place where he would also meet me in my dreams.
this way:
escaping to a place in my dreams where he would also meet me.
And these two lines:
With the smile came the sensation of feeling wanted.
Feeling..... wanted.
this way:
With the smile came the feeling of being wanted.
Being..... Wanted.
thus doubling up on the meaning ... :-)
You're gifted Li Li ... indeed you are ... :-)

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

It made me a bit sad, but it's the best writing that moves a reader to feel.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Wow! Put it all out there. You took me on a ride, showing how much you long for the love that was not reciporcated. I could feel how something so beautiful turned so ugly. You expressed how you gave and was not given in return.

Great work.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

Damn, Sunshine...this one stung right here. Very, very blunt and unapologetic. How fitting, considering the theme of this one. This one brought me into a very tangible side of you. So much in this piece that I could 'read between the lines' and see even more.

Damn well said, lady. And keep rising!

[Tha Wind AKA VERBAL OX]

baby gurl, baby gurl,
i wished you didnt go thru that
but ya did

strong beautiful you

luv will find u...
az you already kno

peace much luv an soul....

ghost...

1 luv