The Eye Of The Beholder- With Evoca

Venting.....

 

 

 

He tries to paint this perfect image
Tries to manipulate the vision
That is given
When others look in

Making it seem as though
He's on top of his game
All by wearing
The finer things
When under the cotton
Under the denim
He has THREE different women
In which he chose to plant his seed
Afterwards not giving a s**t how his offspring feeds
Somewhere within he has more greed than heart
Choosing to keep his children apart
All because he can't finish
What he once chose to start

Seven years I've provided
While he resided not even an hour away
Yet, if you talk to him
It's because of me he went astray
Saying I was crazy for keeping our daughter at a distance
Never mentioning the persistence I gave

Not even days, but hours, after our child was born
Never acknowledging all the times I've mourned
As our daughter asks
"Why doesn't daddy love me?"

Never mentioning the trials I went through
Before he fully developed into a man
I say a man because I still try to give him
The upperhand
That's something he'll never realize or understand

Out of seven years
I gave him four
To step up to his responsibilities
Then the possibilities proved to be disabilities
All because he claims it's not his job
To pay for my bills or utilities
As if it's me who has to have the lights on to sleep
Always hungry to eat
Keeping the water on to brush my teeth
And let me tell you... It takes atleast fifteen minututes
To get them pearly whites clean

Why after so much time
Can I still be filled with so much rage
As if these words against the page
Will create "change"

I've done this on my own
Never once choosing to complain
Just chose to remain a mother
Of a child who longs for a father
Who seems is bothered by his own blood
The way I see it
Love should have him in her life
Even through the strife
Him and I may hold
I could never see giving my own child
The cold-shoulder

Then again,
I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder
And as she grows older the fire she has for a father
Will begin to smolder from her decision after being neglected

And once again,
It will be me stepping up to make sure she's protected

Author's Note

Please note this is spoken word format.

Reviews

[wizthom]

oh my love you have angered and brought forth such pity for the fool who misses out on the one thing that God says matters the most is family,being a father,oooh i wept when that little girl ask why does my daddy love me any more ,,thanks to you i will post daddys here ,,its a personal write ,,see last night my daughter spent the night with me,,as i looked on as she slept i wrote what that man needs to see,,peace wizthom


daddy's here

i can remember when in my life i was most happy

changing diapers ,giving baths and feeding bottles,

throwing my baby up to touch the sky,

giving horsey back rides ,,,heeeee hee ,

ooh those were the times ,i will treasure in life,

when love was just a toddler in an angel form,

i was God i made her world turn,

as i look upon her,

amazed at how much she has grown,

she still laughs in her sleep ,

ha ha ha my baby is having fun,

daddy's here , daddy's here,

yes thomia daddy's here ,

watching while listening to the makings of memories,

like when i would hear the pitter patter of little feet,

in the still of the night running down the hall,

to find her daddy's arms,

yes daddy's here ,to wipe your eyes,

kiss you doing the night,reassure you,

that all is right tonight ,

tho mommy is living her life ,

just like i am living mines,

i just want you to know ,

we both love you love you so,

you are so precious to her,

you come first in my world,

my angel,my baby,my little girl,

daddy's here,,still you reach for me ,

when my voice Ur sweet little ears hear,

now that's the love of my seed,

if i never find me a lady,

i will still have heaven on earth,

just knowing i have a little girl

you can be a hundred and ninety four,

still you will be daddy's little girl ,

the air i breathe ,the one who makes me complete,
daddy's here,,wizthom 08

[Hawksmoor]

You're very calm in this...that is to say; your VOICE is very calm in this.

Underneath, though. Underneath, your rage, disgust, disappointment, and resolve are VERY apparent. It's all in the flow and lean of this piece. You state your views and opinions in a very elegant way, but you also hold to your convictions, which is an extremely difficult thing to do in writing like this. How are you objective AND accusatory in the same set of lines?

I'm not sure how to do it, to move with such precision and caution. You know, caution of not allowing the driving foce behind my anger to overwhelm me. Had it been me writing this, my rage would've taken hold of the steering wheel about a stanza into this, but luckily, it was you, and not me, who chose to write this.

You know, a few months ago, my Dad, a man who saw no use in ever being my dad; indeed, a man who never even knew me, didn't want me, in his own very obvious way, hated me, died. Diabetes claimed him and his indifference. As this is a piece about uncaring, unsparing, or just plain rotten b******s who probably should've worn several condoms every day of their lives, I feel as though I can relate.

I won't lie and say that my Mama, who I love more than anything else, wasn't a great Mother AND Father, but the Father aspects of who she had no choice but to be came into being more on account of my dad's absence than her interest in performing this particular role. My point?

Every kid needs an old man who wants to be an old man, whether he was ready or not when he and mommy popped the top off that old, dusty bottle of convenience store wine.

A kid wonders why the man doesn't care enough to be there. I can tell you this from very personal experience, a kid wonders and wonders and wonders and nevere stops wondering. It's women like you who are this new gen's hope and strength.

Great job is what I mean to say.

The most awesome aspect of this piece? You kept control. Hell,you charmed the anger that HAD to have once been in this into a line of mainpoint-precision.

Hawksmoor...From The Bleed.

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

It may be in a spoken word format, but I still followed the rhythm through it for the most part. Me not having any kids, it's not hard for me to defend single mothers(as you have here) and having to be the only one to step up. Such a reoccurring theme with all races and classes. And children are the ones to suffer. I'm getting off course....

Your stanzas are very complete in context and they drive home a theme with each of them. Your wordplay is dope and I enjoy your flow and rhythm. I can almost hear you reciting this with a quiet strength and confidence as oppose to shouting your frustration here. It's a tribute to grown women diction; you're not letting the man get away with it, but instead of moaning and screaming, you apply your point with grace and "room-toned", intelligent demeanor. It's dope and I'm snapping in applause.....

[Fran Marie]

A powerful write really well crafted indeed~Fran Marie

[Ivory]

This hit me hard!!! Im going through this situation myself wit my childrens father.
Its a constant struggle. Excellent spoken word piece...

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Wow, that was really strong and spoken from your soul!! Is that background song Timbaland's "Scream" instrumental? I thought it was. This poem could actually be made into a movie or something, I am sure many women can relate to those type of men (i dated one similar)...anyway...you are an excellent writer, and our minds think similarly. And your daughter is going to be a great young woman bec you are going to raise her right, and give her the love she deserves!!!

much love,

kena

[Drum Bum in the Sun]

*hugs* that's a really beautiful poem. it relates a very sad truth, but i see a lot of strength in your words, like a calm understanding of the need for perseverance. i wish you peace and happiness always.

[Virgin 101]

Li Li a beautiful poem that I myself and many can relate to. This is real! My favorite line, "In which he chose to plant his seed
Afterwards not giving a s**t how his offspring feeds
Somewhere within he has more greed than heart
Choosing to keep his children apart
All because he can't finish"

[Constance]

Wow. Completely blown away. The rhythm and flow are superb, the message lucid and perfectly delivered. This is your THING. You have incredible talent. This is good enough that I'd actually want to add it to my mix cd as a song. I'm extremely impressed. I think I'm going to learn some things from you. Bravo!

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

This is so powerful, and i feel for you, my ex is like that with all his baby's mother. Although he's still in life of one, he hasn't fully stepped up to daddy status or being a real MAN. I loved this, on many levels and the voice added an extra touch.

Danni

[☮]

Wow. That was nice.

The way in which you spoke was strong. The presence of disappointment mixed with power to overcome that disappointment is so clearly evident.

I found metaphor in your line regarding brushing your teeth. I liked the music in the background as well. What made you select that track?

This is different than what's usually posted on WC and I appreciated it. Nice job as usual.