I once knew this guy...

Who I secretly liked a lot. I thought about dating this loser to get his attention but then backed out to save myself for him. He was interested in this other girl, a tall blonde with sparkly blue eyes and a a cute crooked smile who shared in his crude jokes about rape. I thought I should just let him date her and live on knowing he was happy. 

One day he came to my door step with a gash in his fore arm saying he can’t find love and that he started cutting himself. I had a history of it myself. I knew how lovelessness felt. My parent’s weren’t home so I invited him side and cleaned him up and told him that someone loves him. He responded with “No she doesn’t” 
Over the months that went by we became close friends, despite him blowing me off for his frat buddies on my birthday and me being hit on at that bar alone and defenseless.  He seemingly got better but didn’t stop cutting. He started going to more extremes like drinking cleaning chemicals and claiming he was still “pure” because he didn’t drink or smoke. I increasingly pitied his sadness and stayed by his side promising him the comfort of a woman who loved him. He never really saw me.
One day I got into a fight with my dad and couldn’t see him for a while. We were going to go to the outdoor mall and have a good time like always. Getting away from everyone and being our goofy fucked up selves. He kept cutting. Soon I found out he was stalking the blonde who lead him on and rejected him. It was pathetic. I tried to tell him there was more to this life than one woman. He didn’t listen. He pined over her like his life depended on it. My secret was still safe at least.
Another few months go by and he finally stops cutting, or so he told me. He tells me he loves me and thanks me for all my help I’ve given him. We become even closer. I start dreaming of children and he says he shared the same dream. He then talked about how the blondie had a kid. A two year old named Diamond. My heart broke. I cried in a baby clothes section in a store for an hour looking like a fool while he called her on his cell phone. I wouldn’t give him up. 
A month and a half later I noticed he became obsessed with me by buying everything I looked at with a twinkle in my eyes and bring it to me. Anything I craved was brought to me. I had never been treated like a queen before. He called me his Queen of Righteousness. I loved it.
My dad did not. He became skeptical and paranoid. He locked the front door behind him and made sure I was always watched. My social life crumbled. I once had many friends until they saw him and how I spent all my time with him. He’d pay for everything and I’d give him advice and stories and pecks on the cheek. 
Soon I saw what my dad saw. He was treating me like the Blondie he pined over before. Only it was much worse. I let him in. I gave him something to live for and yet now I was forced to drop him. He was suffocating me. I didn’t know where to put any of the stuff he gave me I was forced to sell most of it, and I couldn’t take his threats of suicide if I didn’t say good morning to him. Yet all he saw was him trying for me. I had mixed feelings. I wanted his attention but not all of it. Not constantly. He refused to give up. He wanted me bad. I stopped hanging out with him. I couldn’t I felt like I was in danger. My only other friend saw it too. I asked her to come along with me after talking with her and my dad about it. They agreed. I didn’t want to be heartless. He was so pitiful. For a few more months me, him and my friend had fun, he was happy, that made me happy, my friend wasn’t happy. She got almost no interaction out of him. He never offered to get her food when we went out to eat, he just ignored her or made fun of her. And only payed when I asked. She was being used. I felt bad. They got into a fight and I got into it as well attacking him for his flaws and everything that was wrong with him. He almost got us shot that day. He didn’t see why we were upset. He kept repeating everything he’s said to me in the past year like I wasn’t ever listening. Then he got selfish and condescending. I had enough. I was done. I wanted to be done.

She never hung out with him again but I did. Behind my dads back. I thought I could keep trying to fix him.
I tried till one day I got so fed up with everything he did that I told him I didn’t care if he killed himself. He had already tried three times. He’ll never change. All I wanted was the good things to show out of him and he did nothing but continually spiral into a bad person who is now lonely.

I miss my friend that I had. I even would have had a lover. But only time can say