�The Train Tracks�

A midnight train slips quickly through the countryside
Bleeding it’s way all along and onwards
Past famous landmarks and known map symbols
Fast cutting trees in seconds
And turning whole cities into blurs and suddens
Creating a way of slicing the moment
But finding small time to stop off now and again-
To let the passengers work or visit.

Reviews

[Emily B]

I remember a midnight train, eating a loaf of fresh bread and drinking champagne from a small bottle, travelling from Siegen to Florence. . . The houses changed from one country to the next. Signs said we passed through another country in the night.

Slicing the moment--that is a lovely image. As if, by travelling, we are moving not between places, but between moments. I'm not sure that you need the last two lines. They're so ordinary after you've sliced that moment.

[Tawny O'hara]

Creating a way of slicing the moment

you have some great descriptive phrases in this. Great little piece

[TL Boehm]

Bleeding ist way all along and onwards. Yes I agree that is a very unique and descriptive line...this was a great read.

[Lyra Day]

And turning whole cities into blurs and suddens .. what a spectacular line. I love it.

[Claude]

Yes ..i lived in new york for a while so i you have the imagery down effortlessly.
Very nice piece ..short but great

[T. L. O'Neal]

Greatly illustrates the feelings one experiences on a train ride. T

[R. Gene MacDonald]

And turning whole cities into blurs and suddens. I don't know what it is, but I love that line. I'm really glad to hear from you, because once again this is a nice piece.

[Kelly Rainwater]

My favorite line is:

"And turning whole cities into blurs and suddens"

Very well done.

[Brianna Brie]

Bleeding it�s way all along and onwards
Past famous landmarks and known map symbols

You make me want to go for a train ride. "Bleeding" is a very interesting way to describe the travel. Job done nicely.

[Gandré]

Beautifully realized. This is a poem what lets me lay back and it is like finding messages on the street darting from place to place. Good job, liking!

[Gary H]

Really like the concept here. Funnily enough, have almost finished my own steam train poem so this was very interesting to understand how to write from a 'faster' point of view. Also a good idea to keep the whole thing short as this gave the reader the feeling of speed.
Send to British Rail and see what they think!!!