I hate to see you go

My knees buckle when I see you

I have no other words to say becasue you take my breath

your beauty is my drug

you walk with dignity not letting anyone stand in your way

Your golden hair reminds me of gold

your eyes are like two diamonds shiniing in the sunlight

I never want to let you go. I hate to see

you go, but I love to watch you walk away

Reviews

[eatme]

Knees buckle, take my breath, stand in your way, golden hair, never let you go, hate to see you go, and watch you walk away are all cliche's.

Bobbing for apples is a cliche
Bobbing for cancer is not

If you want to do poetry, that amounts to the minimum basic rule, you need to match things together in a new way.

Silence is golden has been said
Time flies, like sand through the hour glass, icy wind,

It works in music of course. You can get a grammy with a string of cliches,

Unique word arrangements is critical. If it has been said before by thousands of people, consider it covered.

My knees shudder when I glimpse you
I have no sound because you mutilate my tongue
your beauty is lubricated juice lightning smeared on my brain
your haughty walk makes the faceless nameless part in shame
Your hair reminds me of Aztec idols
your eyes are like two diamond knives stabbing sunlight through my head
I suffocate you gently but strangle violently when you try to leave
then I release you so i can start it all again

[MoriartyMesa]

Sounds to me like you need to brush off your nicest of wear, take an iron to those wrinkles, trim the face, hot wash is always best. If you smoke than brush your teeth and smile, if not do the same. And ask this girl for a drink and remind her in a subtle way of terms your intentions, your a romantic and I love to root for one.





Come on now, clap, clap, chop, chop, get your gear in order as if the Queen is ready to inspect your quarters.

[plainme]

I love the last two lines, so clever!

[SyberRose]

Lovely words and I enjoyed the perfect ending...SyberRose

[beautiful dreamer]

like this bunches!

[Brave girl]

i like the last 3lines,good peom :)

[s y e]

Aw, this was so sweet and sad. You captured the emotion perfectly.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Pretty good. Nice write

[char]

I like the last two lines. Cool poem! :)