Worms & Chaos: They boo the cow skiing up slope

The begaining is a excerp from Charles Bukowki's, Women, a thought process of me talking to me, in a dream.

 

“I had a dream about you. I opened your chest like a cabinet, it had doors, and when I open the doors I saw all kinds of soft things inside you-teddy bears, tiny fuzzy animals, all these soft, cuddly things. Then I had a dream about this other man. He walked up to me and handed me some pieces of paper. He was a writer. I took the pieces of paper and looked at them. And the pieces of paper had cancer. His writing had cancer. I go by my dreams.”

 

How do I kill the cancer?

 

The question I asked myself while packing another carton of Kool Xl’s,

The n****r’s new Newport’s.

 

I am at the same port,

Should I jump or should I fight,

I have no oars,

Who am I kidding?

 

ABONDAN SHIP!

 

Loose lips sink ships,

But my lips are sealed,

Always have been sealed,

Sealed when college professors frowned at my creativity,

They boo the cow skiing up slope.

 

They say I am a black Bukowski.

 

I am dirty snow.

 

Smell my s**t when the sun comes,

After the seasons cycle,

My problems itch,

This ring worm,

Wrestling my problems on this mat,

After Clorox and overcoming tides of obstacles,

I still am unclean.

 

Two more quarters,

Two more hours at the laundry mat.

God dame it!

 

I must be a problem,

If not then why am I painted black?

Lord…

 

Six white flags hang from my towers,

Six white flags tears like showers,

Six white flags hang form my tower,

Lord I surrender my song,

The song I sing!

 

I feel for the worst,

I feel,

 I will smith,

 

Off the Hancock.

Reviews

[Emel Kay]

This one makes me think alot of things at the same time. First, I liked that you used Bukowski to get yourself set up for the piece, and I like how you kept it a bit gritty, as he was well worn to do. Despite this, though, you didn't stay close to the point at which you began. This isn't a bad thing, I'm sure you know, just an observation. I also noticed a few mis-spellings, which were placed so succinctly that I wasn't sure whether they were on purpose or not. Let's say that they were, and if so, that they were placed where they were to maintain a continual force in the piece. Some parts are very sporadic, while others seem to be as solid as a snare drum. Again, this shouldn't be taken as a criticism, I think you do a very fine job of managing the two extremes. You do a few immensely enjoyable word-plays throughout, and likewise end in a clever set. I am always honored to look at your work, as it reminds me that there are still savvy word smiths lurking in the wood work.

[Shadow]

I agree with Emel you got kinda off topic half way thru and it seemed liked the rest was just a jumble off thoughts all though I re-read it and the world seems that way in dreams so I enjoyed reading and re-reading it still damn fine work just try not to confuse the rest of us

[Nicholas Hallows]

Very powerful and very creative.
I always appreciate how you refuse to hold back and hit with full force.
I'm not really too familiar with Bukowski but to me you are the original Steve Spade.
Very well done!

[Engulfed in Flames]

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