To Follow

Looking up from your computer screen you swear softly under your breath, 

“S**t. That was good”

As good as it was you’re depressed. You’re depressed because you can never do that. You can’t do it and it doesn’t have anything to do with how good you are now or how good you can be in future. It’s just a law of the universe now. You can never write that story. 

You can’t write it because it’s already been written and now you know it’s been written. Before tonight you could have written the story, just like the author, perhaps better than the original. Happy with your product, your armor of ignorance protecting your ego from the barbs that will follow its completion. The criticisms of the story only adding fuel to your feelings of self-worth and sense of accomplishment. 

“It’s good but I’m pretty sure Chuck Palahniuk wrote something exactly like that. You get the idea from him?” 

“F**k no. Never read that s**t. Never read anything like this before” 

Now it's a lie. A hollow lie to hide the sinking feeling when someone finds out you’re a fraud and a fake.  If you try to write something like it now you’ll just be a plagiarizer. A copycat. The author owns that idea now and it is his legacy. 

The idea of the story is so good. How challenging and intriguing to write the same story but in your own way, with your own words.  In the end it’d be as hollow as the feeling you would get from writing it. Hollow because the original author nailed it. He hit that f*****g thing out of the park. It might not be perfect but it’s amazing. 

No. You’re better off trying your luck at something else. No matter how good your attempt is it’ll never make you happy and in the end that’s all that really matters. You need to feel the sense of accomplishment and the joy of creation. Not the hollowness of impersonation.