The Naughty Snail

A silly poem, just a bit of fun! Inspired by an Autumn in London.

An autumn day was framed by orange

I went for a walk in the park

The sunset made the trees look ablaze

Each auburn leaf was a spark

 

The leaves were crispy underfoot

When I heard a sudden crunch

It appeared that I had trodden upon

A snail and his leafy lunch

 

Not an inch to the right another snail sat

And he looked at me shaking his head

‘Cheers for that.. prick!’ he said with disgust

‘Thanks to you my best friend is dead!’

 

As I lifted my foot off the slimy remains

The other snail started to cry

So I plucked him up off of the concrete

I felt so guilty I wanted to die!

 

I found him the loveliest tree to inhabit

I brought him all sorts of nice food

Introduced him to the sexiest she-snail

All to improve his foul mood!

 

When all of a sudden he started to laugh

“You’re a sucker” he said “what a blast!”

“I’d never met that snail in my life,

I was only sliding past!”

 

I felt so used, felt such a mug

I’m afraid that I saw red

So I went and found a house brick

And used it to smoosh in his head

 

As soon as I did I felt rather rotten

To have picked on someone so small!

I’ve never hurt an insect since

Though I still don’t like snails at all!

Reviews

[Baz]

This is hilarious, Steve! Really funny and well crafted. I was really taken by the cheeky manner of the second snail, not to mention your swift dispatching of him at the end. Excellent.