Shattered Heart Meets Shattered Heart

Wrote this in about 15 minutes, was talking with a freind about two people who find they have past heartbreak in common, and this just flowed out. Im quite pleased with it, would be nice to hear your opinions!

 

 

Man with shattered heart stands with umbrella in the rain

As the fog swirls round his ankles, he stays thinking on his pain

When across the street his eyes do meet a woman wearing white

She stands out like an angel in the darkness of the night.

 

So black and white across the cobbles stop to share a glance

And through the rain he sees the moonlight on her eyeballs dance

They smile and hesitate a moment, then slowly take a pace

And in a moment two shattered hearts once more begin to race

 

For a shattered hearts beats in her chest, his is a pain she’s felt

How funny then that they should meet, fate’s cards have been well dealt

A gentle kiss upon the cheek is all the couple share,

But it hints at potent chemistry that is already there

 

Now as the icy fragments of their hearts move closer more

The shards are intertwining and creating one new core

So neither heart would heal to the whole that it once had been

But become one with another and eternally beat unseen

Reviews

[Sasha]

Ugh. I love this one too. It's beautiful. Not like the headache inducing, pretentious language using, "What the HELL are you talking about?!" beautiful love poems I see around a lot, but simple, straight-forward, vivid imagery, "Why can't this happen to me?!", absolutely lovely... beautiful. The type of poetry that makes me empathize and wish I could at the same time. The one thing that caught me off-guard was "been" rhyming with "unseen" but you're from the UK so it's "bean" as opposed to "bin". Potato potahto. This is still gorgeous.

Also, you gotta love the poems that just happen. They don't take any real amount of time (to write or to read), but they're still so amazing. Between this and "Conscience Like A Cloud", I love your poems - however long they take. :)

[Undying Glory]

wrote this in 15 minutes you say? definitely feels like you really thought about this...the whole poem really feels very sad and yet with a happy ending because they meet with broken hearts but mend each other's. great