Spring Haiku

Chill skies overhead

heather lines the garden path

dew as tears on ground

Author's Note

For your consideration. This was written for a "Spring Challenge" on another forum.

Reviews

[Belle]

The first line is a fragment of a macro view, then followed by two phrases presenting micro view of something is specific and that can be described visually : a macro micro composition. Haiku is understood as a three-line poem with a 5-7-5 syllable counts, yes it is but not simple as that, apart from all the mentioned restrictions, what is important in haiku is to understand its true spirit which is looking into nature with reverence. It is capturing small things and make them macro.

You've taken the challenge very well, Sir with a note of the words I've said above.

With this very lovely haiku that you have shared, I can't help not to share mine. Please allow me :

blissful autumn morn
golden shade of lovely moor
in dreamland I long

I had a wonderful time in this page. Thank you.

[SteveB]

Thank you so very much for your review and your explanation of haiku. I have never had any formal education in the genre and your explanation is greatly appreciated.

And I doff my cap for your excellent piece on autumn.

[Belle]

I have seen in your haiku the characteristics I have mentioned, I hope I did not sound like an educator for I did not intend to. I can't help not to mention all of that especially that I was overwhelmed by the images you have painted.

[SteveB]

Never apologize for educating. Please share your knowledge. One of the reasons I am here, in addition to enjoying reading new work, is to improve my own little talent. And the best way to do that is through constructive and informative reviews.

[Belle]

And so am I, this site is a perfect portal for growth. I've grown so much here as an aspiring writer. 'Just want to ask if you have tried Senryu?

[SteveB]

I have tried what I think are Senryu.MAy I send a read request to you?

[Belle]

Yes, you may sir. It would be a pleasure.

[Angi]

I don't know how I missed this one. It is quietly lovely, Steve. I can picture myself on that path, coffee steaming in my cup. Angi~

[SteveB]

Thank you so much Angi. You would not want to imagine yourself as I am now sitting on the deck by the light of fireflies while drinking coffee that is not as hot or wet as the air in New York.

[Angi]

The air in South Carolina is heavy and hot as a wet wool blanket. Blech. I long for an October breeze.

[lovejulez03]

"dew as tears on ground" beautiful - lovely haiku :)

[SteveB]

Thank you so very much. I appreciate the continued kindness.

[lovejulez03]

Well deserved. Anytime :)

[SteveB]

I truly wished I had as much faith in my work as you do.

[lovejulez03]

No reason you shouldn't. First of all, you write.. do you know how many people I know (almost all) who don't like to write or even pick up a book? Secondly you have friends here who love your work and encourage you. Thirdly, anything written with feeling, sincerity, and creativity in such a simple manner deserves praise, Personally I hate writing haiku , I'm awful at it lol

[SteveB]

Thank you so very much. I have forced myself to try some formal micro-poetry just to see if I can do it. While I realize you are busy could you take a look at my "Classic Movie" piece which started as an intellectual exercise and became an addiction? The micro bug is deadly!

[lovejulez03]

Of course

[SteveB]

Thank you so much. Pehaps I should explain my insecurities. Coming from New York I am surrounded by "real" writers. I am merely a lawyer who loves he sound of words and have a few stories to tell. No garret loft, no Village walkup apartment, and I look damn silly wearing a beret and playing the bongo drums. Also I am not big on being intentionaly obtuse. Therefore when I am at readings or events around here I am well aware that I do not fit in. I truly appreciate all of your very kind words.

[john alan willox]

being of scottish descent heather holds a dear place - and this captures that memory perfectly for me.

[SteveB]

For me it is the heather outside my grandfather's farm in Ireland. Thak you so much. I am glad I was able to give you a fond reminder of a place and time.

[Rita L. Sev]

A perfect description of Spring in these syllables - I especially like the last line. You painted a vivid picture in this haiku!

[SteveB]

Thank you so very much Rita. But alas I will never be "Sevical".

[Stella Armour]

A lovely image in so few words..

[SteveB]

Thank you so much Stella.

[Stella Armour]

i like haiku...

[SteveB]

Are you the Stella Rose mentioned? I apologize that I do not know you.

[Stella Armour]

yes probably..i haven't been here too long

[SteveB]

Then based upon her description of your writing I am doubly honored by your kind words

[Stella Armour]

goodness,it is i that should be honoured that she has spoken highly of me..

[Quill~]

I believe you rised to the challenge SteveB!... I love this Senryu. You have fueled my desire to write more, thanks for inspiring. :)

I envision the beauty of Heathers in the garden and the tears of morning dew.
Absolutely lovely!

[SteveB]

Thank you Quill. As always you are too kind.

[Quill~]

Now I'm amped to read more of your senryus!... pen on.. :)

[Frieda P]

Love this one, heather is brilliant, good one Steve!

[SteveB]

Thank you Frieda.

[SyberRose]

Lovely Haiku for the challenge Steve...The ones I wrote was also for a challenge in another forum ha.
They are not as easy as they look...:)

[SteveB]

Thank you Rose. You are right. PArticularly for someone like me who hates being constricted. They are a form of intellectual gymnastics.

[SyberRose]

Ive never wrote the modern day ones yet like Stella did today.