Final Moments in the Snow

A Story by Stephanus

A man spending his final breaths laying in the snow

“Guess this isn't the worst way to go” he says to himself softly as he lays in the snow. Behind him the noise and chaos of the evening starts drowning out his thoughts. He fights for a second so he can focus again. No sirens yet. He lifts his head from the snow and tries to assess the damage. Looks pretty bad, worse than he has seen before at least. The cars are totalled, that's for sure. The previously white snow has a dark red flowing through it all around him. His right arm has no feeling but he can move it still. He slowly reaches for his pocket and tugs out a cellphone. The blood on his hand makes it hard to swipe his password on the phone though. He eventually gives up and lays his head back down. He doesn't feel cold or uncomfortable, so that's good. He is faintly aware of the smell of a dirty bathroom and remembers reading that when people die they tend to...relieve themselves. That's more than a little embarrassing but he realizes that it's too late to be worried about that now.

Maybe he'll make it through this situation, seeing as he does have a tendency to be dramatic about injuries and he's probably just being the same here. Holy s**t, how long are the paramedics going to take. He tries to look over to the other car. Can't see the driver from here but he can see all the beer bottles on the ground. Well this guy is clearly a tool. Again, too late to care about that. He must be in shock, there is no way that he should be this calm when he is under the impression that his life will soon be ending. Maybe it's because he has thought about this moment so many times before. As if the restless nights where he couldn't keep his brain from shutting off or the intense suicidal moments in his past, has somehow prepared him for the inevitability of this moment. This isn't what he thought would happen at all though, he thought about this of course, considered the possibility but he was almost sure he would die from some unhealthy eating related illness.

He starts worrying about the people in his life. People do rely on him, his family and a few friends. He wasn't as insignificant as he used to think he was. He wonders if they will be okay and if they will make it through this. He can hear the faint sound of sirens in the background and it's only then that he notices some people near the other car. They must be checking in on the other driver, he wonders whether or not the driver will be okay. The driver might be a complete tool but no one deserves to die. Everything goes dark for a second and it takes him a while before he realizes that someone is standing over him. Oh, not dead yet. The person is trying to say something, can't really make it out though. Can't hear the sirens anymore either, although he can make out the lights.

Everything is getting slightly darker but this time it isn't a shadow. Time feels like it's moving slowly. Someone who looks like a paramedic kneels next to him, but he can't be sure since his vision is blurring as well. Is this really it? What happens now? He believes in God but what if he is wrong, is there really just an eternity of nothingness ahead of him. What if he believes in the wrong God or the wrong denomination and ends up going to hell. Fear is starting to roll in, and he was so close to the end without being scared. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. It will be okay. He slowly starts to close his eyes as the darkness overwhelms him slowly. Feeling a sense of calm again and praying that the people in his life will be looked after and that they will be okay. Then darkness. It feels like only a second though before he opens his eyes again to the light