Plus or Minus

To procreate or not to procreate? That’s their question

They both stared at the clock, waiting for the second hand to make five rotations, one tick at a time, moving around and around in a dizzying circle.  Each tick resounded in their chests, in time with their heart beats, and coaxed each breath in and out of their lungs.  Their eyes glazed over and lost focus, but neither would blink.  Neither would break their gaze on the clock.

           

Kelly cleared her throat, trying to speak, but only air escaped her lips.  Her body stiffened in the uncomfortable silence and she hardened her stare on the clock, daring it to keep ticking.  Keeping his eyes ever forward, Peter shifted nervously next to her, making sure not to brush against Kelly as he did so.

           

Each tick of the clock echoed in the bathroom, bouncing off the four walls before laying the assault against their ears.  Each exhaled breath was a wave of sound, swallowing the ticks and cushioning the walls.  The tense silence enveloped them both. 

           

Boredom setting in, Kelly stared at her white sneakers, kicking rhythmically at the frayed bathroom rug.  She was so entranced that Peter startled her as he shifted his weight on the edge of the bathtub.

           

“Sorry. Did I scare you?” The silence shattered.

           

“No, no.  I’m just a little dazed right now.  This is kinda surreal,” she said.

           

Four minutes to go…

           

“Yeah, I never thought we be here.”  He stared at the pregnancy test resting on the sink.  “It’s weird.”

           

“We haven’t given this too much thought.”

           

“Until this morning.”

           

Kelly inhaled deeply. “Peter,” she hesitated. “What are we going to do if it’s…”

           

“I don’t know. Are we parent material?”

           

“Guess that doesn’t matter much now.  It’s out of our hands, isn’t it?” Kelly moved to the floor and sat cross-legged at Peter’s feet.

           

Chin resting in her hands, her mind reeled.  Peter brushed a stray hair from her face, gently tucking it behind her right ear.

           

“You know, Kelly. This might not be the worst thing that could happen to us.”

           

Kelly straightened, her eyes meeting his for a brief moment.  Then, she laughed.

           

“For a second, I thought you were ser-” His determined gaze stopped her.

           

“Think about it,” he said. “We both have steady jobs with solid incomes, we have been talking about marriage, and we’ve even discussed getting a puppy…”     

           

“Peter, this is bigger than getting a puppy,” she said indignantly.  “It doesn’t take nine months of your life to birth a puppy, and paper-training is easier than changing diapers.”

           

Three minutes to go…

           

“All I’m saying is that we’re committed to each other already.” He took her hands in his as he spoke. “We love each other. We have the means to support a family. It’s not like we’re sixteen and still in high school.”

           

“But we might be terrible parents.”  Kelly’s words became frantic. “We could seriously mess up this little person. What if he runs away to join the circus because he hates us?” She pulled her hands away from Peter and stood up.

           

“Kelly, that’s ridiculous.  Any son of ours will be caring and loving. He’ll be smart too.  If we plan it correctly, we could even send him to med school. What if he cures cancer?” Peter stood too now, placing his hands gently on Kelly’s shoulders.  “Won’t this conversation seem silly then?”

           

“My idea is ridiculous? He’d need to get a scholarship if we were ever going to afford med school. He’d better learn to play full symphonies by age three, join every sports team at the high school and become president of the science club,” said Kelly, growing more exasperated.  “And what if it’s a girl?”

           

Two minutes to go…

           

 “She could be a doctor too, if she wanted, of course.”  Peter paced the tiny bathroom, excitement in his voice. “Or she could get her MBA and become a big time corporate ball-buster for some Fortune 500 company.” 

           

“My daughter will not know the meaning of the words ‘power-suit,’ thank you very much.  She can sing in the choir after school and take ballet lessons until she’s good enough to join a touring company, just like I wanted to do when I was fifteen.”

           

“That’s the first Commandment about parenting, Kelly: Thou shalt not project thyself onto thy children,” he said in his best Charlton Heston voice.

           

“I’m not projecting! All little girls want to be ballerinas…” she argued, but to no avail. Peter stood motionless, eyebrows raised skeptically.  “Fine, forget ballet! What about law school? She could specialize in real estate or tax law, something intelligent yet excessively boring and miles away from any criminals.”

           

“What about the power-suit?”

           

“If she’s a lawyer, she can wear whatever she wants!” 

           

Kelly stole a glance at the clock.

 

One minute to go…

 

“Almost there,” she sighed, clenching her fists.  Tension reclaimed her facial features with every tick.

 

“What if we had twins?” Peter added.  She turned away from the clock and her expression relaxed.

 

“Twins don’t run in my family, so that’s unlikely.”

 

“I think they run in mine,” he said. “Does that help us?”

 

“Nope.  I don’t think I’d want twins any way. Look at me! Twins would obliterate me and eight-minute abs.”

 

Peter laughed.  “We could probably only handle one for now anyway.  I don’t think I’d know the front of a diaper from the back, you know?”

 

Silence set in again.  Could we even handle one? The unspoken question lingered in the air between them like heavy steam after a long shower.

 

“We’re old enough,” said Kelly.

 

“Right.”

 

“And we love each other.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“We might even buy a house this year.”

 

“Just as I said, we’ll be fine.” Peter reached for her again, but Kelly slipped through his arms, lost in thought.

 

“And if we can get him or her into a good private school, we might have a chance at a scholarship.  I mean, we both had decent grades in school…” Kelly stopped when she caught Peter’s furrowed brow.  “What? What’s wrong?”

 

“Well, don’t you think it’s unfair to assume that our child will want to go to private school? I didn’t, and I still got a scholarship to Stanford,” Peter said pointedly.

 

“I’m just saying that his or her chances would be better if…”

 

“If we throw a bunch of money at some expensive school?” he interrupted.

 

“That’s not what I meant.  Anyhow, we can discuss that in thirteen years when the time comes to decide.”  Kelly wasn’t interested in starting an argument when the tension level was already so high.

 

“Exactly. And I believe our child should have a say.”

 

“Well at least he can play soccer wherever he goes,” she said.  “Look, only fifteen more seconds. Are you nervous?”

 

“What? Yes, of course. But soccer, Kel? Really?”  He grabbed her hand as she reached for the pregnancy test. “Wait just one minute.”

 

“We’ve just waited the five longest minutes of my life,” Kelly said, her voice edged with panic.  “In ten seconds, this conversation might not be necessary.”

 

“Who cares if it’s necessary now? We’re going to need to have the conversation at some point.”

 

“So that’s a no to playing soccer, huh?”        

 

“We can discuss baseball, football or track. No soccer,” he spoke vehemently.

 

“Any particular reason?”

 

“Because those are the sports that I played when I was in high school, and I could coach the pee-wee teams. So, that’s what my son will play.” He crossed his arms and stared at her.

 

“Now who’s projecting?” Kelly laughed at his stubborn glower. “Come on, time’s up. I can’t take it any more. I have to know.”

 

“Ok, fine.  Take a deep breath and go.”

 

Without looking, Kelly snatched the test from the tooth-paste stained sink.  She perched uncomfortably on the narrow rim of the tub, next to Peter.  Clutching the stick, her knuckles equally as white, Kelly turned to Peter and held out her hand.

           

“I can’t look. You have to do it.” She opened her fist and offered it to him, her eyes squeezed tightly closed.

           

Peter hesitated.  His hand shook as he took the pregnancy test from Kelly’s clammy palm.  With a deep breath he turned it towards him and read the results.

           

“Well…”

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Oh my gosh!! I read this through so quickly to get to the end and find out whether Kelly was pregnant or not, and then.....no answer! *sigh* You did a great job of building the suspense. I really enjoyed this. It makes me wonder if my parents had this kind of a conversation when I was conceived, which I've never thought about before.