My Friend of All Friends

I wrote this for the Joy contest

I tried to say

I was like an ocean's buoy

Alone without knowing it,

Before you came.

But I could only kiss your hands,

And press them to my face.

Reviews

[LawrenceRaybon]

Review for the "A Little Joy" Contest

30 words or less?
Yes.

Subject matter?
Secret love. Very beautiful and brings joy to my heart!

Rhythm?
A very nice rhythm, by breaking the poem into small pieces you can feel the pulling between need and reluctance to say what the narrator wants to say.

Overall, excellent! Short and sweet and heart felt. The only thing would change is to put a semi colon or comma after buoy.

Great job!

Thanks for entering the contest!

Cheers,
Lawrence

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***