Perfection?

I'm not quite sure if I like it or not... Comments? Ideas?

Your words settled down at the start of a storm

They followed their path as your heart took its form

I dared reminisce of the times we were warm

I’ve never before thought I’d see you transform

The days I was young were so bleak and lonely

Never once thought I would see you transform me

Mistaken I was, I returned to the sea

You said always be happy, I disagree

I need to feel the sadness inside of you

Feeling anything at all when I come through

Breaking hate barriers that once stuck like glue

I’ll hold tighter than any sorrow in you

Our time has given up, the sand hits the floor

You walk to the dirt road, till your heart’s restored

I’ve longed for such beauty, that beauty is yours

You left me forever, but that I’ll ignore

I lay in the field wishing you were still here

Your hands cold and lonely is what I still fear

Perfume on my shoulder is my souvenir

The truth to your perfection, is still unclear

Reviews

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

I love the structure of this poem, it's amazing, you use very powerful words, well done :) xx

[Ali Jaboody]

Wowwww! pretty amazing poem, i like the flow to it alot!