True Love

<3

If you wake up tomorrow, with a hole in your heart

I promise I could make it better, at least it’s a start

To show you the things I’d do for you, again and again

Not wanting anything in return, just a smile to lend

Although I’d never ask for it back, hold onto it please

Knowing I can make you smile, is what makes me breathe

In perfect repetition, keeping my body at ease

If you knew the state of mind I'm in, you wouldn’t believe

That every sleepless night, I didn’t close my eyes

Was because I made a wish for you, at least I tried

To stay awake for anything, anything to help me believe

An angel is listening somewhere, but will never see

The strength it takes, to keep your name on repeat

Not knowing when I could see, what makes me complete

If only I was the answer, to the hole in your heart

You’d never feel alone again, we’d never be apart

Reviews

[...]

... ah ... this is a beautiful, melodious and soulful love song ... and the quaint magic in this verse ... for me as a reader ... is in the brilliance of the first two lines and the last two lines ... and the way they complete the cycle of love ... "if you wake up tomorrow, with a hole in your heart" ... and ... "i promise i could make it better, at least it's a start" ... and ... "if only i was the answer, to the hole in your heart" ... and ... "you'd never feel alone again, we'd never part" ... i can't help but wonder if the person loved is in denial ... if this is a plea from the narrator ... to be heard ... to be acknowledged ... to be seen for the true love that he holds in his heart ... and what stuns me even more is how the true test of true love is embedded in these lines ... outstanding!!! ... and throughout the verse ... the mesmerizing images of true love saunter and meander like floating clouds ... in ... "just a smile to lend" ... "knowing i can make you smile is what makes me breathe" ... "that every sleepless night, i didn't close my eyes ... was because i made a wish for you, at least i tried" ... and yet ... the most haunting and moving lines of this verse for me are ... "the strength it takes, to keep your name on repeat" ... and ... "not knowing when i could see, what makes me complete" ... we are so unaware sometimes of that love and that embodiment of love ... which enriches our soul beyond measure ... amazingly well expressed ... with such simplicity and elegance ... throughout this verse ... the longing ... the yearning ... the lingering ... the love ... is so evident ... it's definitely a song to be kept on repeat ... remarkably poetic verse ... a 100 ... for magic that's worth way more ...

[Caitlynxoxo]

that was amazing. i was practically breathless when i finished; THAT'S how good i thought it was :) these lines caught my attention throughout the couple times i reread it:

"To stay awake for anything, anything to help me believe
An angel is listening somewhere, but will never see
The strength it takes, to keep your name on repeat"

truly beauitful and incredible. it had a smooth flow to it, and the words really hit home. I loved this, suffice to say, so thanks for sharing :)


xoxoxoCaitlynxoxoxo

[mrityunjay]

Congratulations! Serah's review of your verse, along with a link to your verse, was featured in our online poetry magazine on a blog called "The Fourth Dimension Blog". It is read by several hundred Indian poets who write in English. (Details in your message inbox)

[aedaba]

Whoa this says so much and how you'd do anything...i like it a lot...really niice

[Gomer LePoet]

This is quite nice. I like having an angel to listen to me. I just wish this angel would talk back to me and I would listen.

[Annie29]

This is extremely sweet.
I loved it actually.
Any girl knows if a guy wrote this for her,
she'd melt.
This is beautiful (:

[Hecate Zariah]

Aw....this really spoke to me. I guess it's because this is how i felt for a long time bout someone. Ya just wish they'd see and try to give ya a chance. This is great.