Priscilla Lane

*a Grant-era actress

 

 

Be as harp behind sully beauty-woman

Professing love

Idealistic manifestations of a man

Tap dancing syllables

 

Leap

 

Tongue

            To

                        Tooth

To deny god in the name

Love’s truth

 

but i

i wonder

how the roses tasted

behind

white picket fence

with the lenient guard of a

 

gate

 

to protect them.

 

Be as her

Hat rack

i would.

Reviews

[.]

:: i love the formatting... i always read as you format... the "leap" worked beautifully visually too... i especially liked the first four lines... "tap dancing syllables"... wow...

[Trigorin]

I won't lie to you, I despise poets and authors doing 'creative' things with formatting. Unless there is a very clear and real need supported by the actual content of the piece, all you are telling me otherwise is 'I know how to use the tab key'. I really don't see what use it is in this poem especially, and it seems to me like a bit of a needless distraction.
That being said, the actual content of this piece is nicely done. You use good imagery and you've definitely brought up some very unusual thoughts, especially in the last stanza. Good work.

[Steeven]

thank you for your honest comment. the reason for the tabs in the beginning of the poem is two parts: a) to give actual visusal of Leaping from tongue to the teeth, b) it takes the place of comma splicing/dashing or line skipping (which i do frequently) in order to thoroughly emphasize the amount of pause or hesitation that i want the reader to follow.

my reasons being stated, perhaps you will give myself and others who use spacial dynamics more of a chance; if only these reasons make sense and can be accepted.
thank you again.