On Chasing the Switchblade (Bird)

A slam poem that's semi-factual about my experiences with Los Cerritos Wetlands Stewards in Long Beach

 

Look pal, I'm sure it's really "bad a*s"
But could we please find the Dead Man's Fingers now?
It's lunchtime, and my fave restaurant has
Happy Hour!
WHOA!
Look at that thing go!!!
Dude, let's chase it—
Where'd it go?
Damn! It's all the way over there now!
Oh my God, look at it go!
It’s right there—
No wait, it’s over there—
Why is it diving dow—
HOLY S**T! IT DIVED INTO THE WATER!
Dude, turn off your iPod and get the camera
Yes, I like that song too, but the damn
bird is getting away!
It’s flying that way, start running!
Oh my God, take a picture!
Hit the zoom!
What do you mean you don’t know how—
OW!
Take a picture of the bird
NOT my forehead!
Hey, wait, I can record this!
::beep::
“Ok, we’re out here looking for the most elusive
“Switchblade!
“This thing moves so fast it’ll run you out of energy!
“We’re gonna chase it down till we die!”
Hey, if you don’t like the way I do my videos,
Kiss my a*s!
…I can edit that part out later.
Oh my God! There it is!
Closer…closer…oh yeah, baby, you are MINE for the taking
Just a little closer…
Oh God…oh God, oh God, oh GOD, HERE IT CO—
::beep::
…NO!!! MY BATTERY JUST DIED!!!
 

 

 

Author's Note

The picture I used, by the way, is a picture of the little fucker when it is NOT flying out of my camera lenses >_< And no, I did NOT take that picture. If I did, would there be a poem in the first place?

Reviews

[Orlando Murcia]

This was funny and great
I loved it!! Don't change a thing

Orlando M