Illegitimate Child

Condemn me all you want. I'm a moron, idiot, dumbass...and a woman who loves a man she can never have.

 

"...liking somebody is the pregnancy of the soul. The birth…is falling in love."

                            --from "Liking Somebody"

 

 

Her little body

Makes the wooden

Previously empty crib

Creak and moan

 

I can only hope

That the moonlight

Hides my home

Away from him

 

Worried, like Arthur Dimmesdale

Of how she might

Grow too much

In his likeness

 

I lay awake in bed

Hoping that her voice

Will sound more like

Mine

 

But then I worry

If her voice is mine

Will she say the words

That will give me away?

 

I'll never have to tell her

Who he is to me

She knows and she tortures me

For hiding her

 

He's in a denial he's unware of

And even if he knew

He'd deny

Us

 

The fear of

This secret pregnancy

Beats the hell out of

All those unrequited miscarriages

 

He didn't have to touch me

To ignite a new life in me

He'll never know the night

We ignited her

 

His touch was supposed to sustain me

His words were supposed to embrace us

Everything I wanted

He was unaware of

 

Life always finds a way

Fantasies

Dreams of him

David Archuleta songs

 

I carried

I cried

I fell

I am

 

Yours.

 

Sleep tight

Mommy's here

In place

Of Daddy.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Gheeneil]

There are just conflicting emotions underlying the woman's situation. The protectiveness speaks of love and yet of fear. There is the longing to be loved by someone who takes a special place in her heart. But, the absence of reaction from that man creates a feeling of hopelessness. Nonetheless, the presence of other persona, her little precious jewel, gives her every reason to life.

[Ebs]

It was very honest and powerful. I could understand her situation. Well written. Thank you for entering the 'Someone Special' contest.

Ebs

[raining]

our daughter was a surprise, for two really young people. of course i was more involved than this father was, apparently. this is a laying out of how you were feeling, (or the narrator was feeling, anywaya) there is a sadness to the poem of course, and in the end a resignation as to what the future holds for this woman and her child.,


thanks for writing it. raining.

[Honeypot]

There's a very interesting story in this poem and a very original point of view. I liked what you did with it. It leaves me wanting more and with lots of questions. Great job.

[sisyqueen2008]

powerful poem. i really loved it