The Sign

Yet another side story to my Bridesmaid series...how Angela and Barry came to be living together (story between "Snowing in December" and "Coffee")

 

When I opened my eyes, the windowpane was layered with about three inches of snow, but the sun was shining. I could tell the sky had cleared because of the bright azure blue filling the window.

Barry was still fast asleep. He looked like a statue of a Greek god that was molded to my shoulder with the most content look on his face.

I still couldn’t believe the change that had happened in the past month. The month before, I had gone from hating his guts to crying and aching because he was gone. It felt so long ago. Before I knew it, though, Christmas morning arrived, and we had already unwrapped our presents. Several times.

I stretched out, feeling the comforter and the bed sheets on my bare skin. I was definitely thinking of sleeping in the buff more often. It dawned on me, all of a sudden, how cold it was in the cabin. I also remembered that my heavy down jacket was in my motel room that I hadn’t been back to since the morning before. It read eight on the clock beside me. I had three hours to check the hell out before they threw my stuff the hell out.

I began to throw the comforter back to see if I still had my motel key somewhere when I felt arms wrap around my waist.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Barry asked in a deeply seductive voice that put Mr. Darcy himself to shame. “It’s Christmas morning, and it’s time for me to play with my new toy.”

“Is that all I am?” I asked, pretending to wiggle out of his arms. “A toy?”

“Well, you make a great pillow too,” Barry said, winking. I began to pull away and get out of bed, but Barry was relentless when I was in his embrace.

“Barry, I have to go, my stuff is all back at the motel,” I said.

“You can just borrow some clothes from my parents’ cabin later,” Barry whined. “Don’t go.”

“But I have all those clothes, I think I still have my ID, not to mention drawings from work in my room; Barry, come on—”

“I’ll come on you if you don’t stay,” he said, his hands wandering again. “Actually, I’m gonna do that if you stay too, so it might be a lose-lose for you.”

“You’re incorrigible, I swear to God,” I muttered.

“Hey now, no using God’s name in vain,” Barry said. “Not on His birthday.”

“You have a very witty tongue there,” I said, not realizing I was giving him more bait.

“I can do funny things with it too,” Barry said, being playfully arrogant. “You know a few of my tricks now, don’t you?” My eyes slanted at him.

“Just a few?” I asked, letting him know he piqued my curiosity. “After what you pulled last night? That was just a few?”

“I’ve been in love with you since we were kids,” Barry said. “And I’ve been lusting after you all that time, too. And when you’re stuck in several boring honors classes all day long, you learn to get creative in your imagination. So I have a whole world of things I wanna try with you. Last night was only scratching the surface.”

“Speaking of scratches, is your back feeling better?” I asked, inspecting his back.

“I don’t know what it is with you women and your manicures,” Barry muttered.

“If it makes you feel better, this was only a gift from my cousin, and I didn’t ask for it,” I said.

“Like me, huh?” Barry asked solemnly. I looked up at him, hearing the serious tone. I looked into his eyes, waiting for me to tear him apart after such a huge set up. I sighed.

“I never asked for you,” I said. “I was sure that I didn’t want you.”

“But you never knew what you were asking for after you read that letter,” Barry said quietly. “You thought you wanted Matt, but you—oh god, never mind.”

“No, I want to hear this,” I said sternly. “I thought I wanted Matt, but what?” Barry huffed.

“It’s not important,” Barry grumbled, taking his arms off me.

“Get back here, I’m not done with you,” I demanded, yanking him back to the bed. Barry looked plenty cross, but a glance down told me he wasn’t quite as upset as his face.

“Finish what you started,” I commanded. “I thought I wanted Matt, but…?” Barry glared up at me. I thought we were done with that.

“You wanted me,” Barry said, shame filling his voice. I bit my lip and revisited my memories. I thought of Matt exactly as Barry was in the letter. I could see Matt saying and doing everything that was in the letter. I didn’t see Barry at all—not in my fantasies. I looked down at Barry, not having the heart to say that to him. I don’t think Barry could read word for word what was in my head, but the look of complete defeat filled his eyes when he realized that I wasn’t embracing that statement.

“Sorry to be presumptuous,” he said, getting up again. “That one you always knew to pin on me.” I watched him pull on his boxers and make his way to the living room. I rubbed my hands on my arms, trying to fight off the winter air in the previously sweltering cabin.

 

                                    *            *            *            *

 

The atmosphere in the cabin was stale, even with the rich scent of Barry’s breakfast in the kitchen. I sat on the couch, in my evening outfit from the night before, ignoring some tearing here and there. All of a sudden, I felt very uncomfortable in my own clothes, as if I shouldn’t have been wearing them at that time. Barry coldly called me to the kitchen for breakfast that was steaming up the windows. I walked slowly to the kitchen, as if this Christmas breakfast were my final meal before execution. Barry had already fixed up a plate for me and he was busy swallowing his own breakfast to even ask me to sit down. I forced his steaming scrambled eggs and turkey sausage down my throat, not remembering to savor the taste, but taking it only to please him. If tasting his delicious food would make me love him more, than I rather would have starved to death.

“Hurry up, you need to check out,” Barry said, not taking his eyes off the plate. I nodded, forcing the last of the breakfast down. I tried to stand up, but my legs wouldn’t move. My arms began to shake, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the chill. I put the fork down, hearing it clang against the table. Barry looked up, hearing my message.

“Look, it’s true I thought about Matt then,” I said. “I hated your guts when we were kids. You were a complete a*****e to me, so excuse me if I didn’t exactly make the connection between you and the letter, ok? There wasn’t a damn name on it, I saw Matt put it in my locker, and then you started treating me like crap the next day, so what the hell was I supposed to think Barry? It didn’t make sense to me then to treat the person you love like s**t.”

“Does it now?” Barry said.

“Like you’re doing to me now?” I retorted.

“You’d only know if you’re doing it too,” he threw back. I threw my hands up.

“This is ridiculous!” I yelled. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation! One minute, we hate each other, the next we kiss, the next we’re apart, the next I go chasing you down like a dog, and the next, we’re f*****g, and now we hate each other again. Aren’t you tired of the cycle?”

“We don’t hate each other,” Barry said, his face darkening. I sank and tears stung my eyes.

“I don’t hate you,” I said, my voice cracking. “But I’m sick of the fighting. I didn’t even want to fight back when we were kids, and now we’re fighting again. I want it to stop, Barry. I just…I…” The long silence was piercing us again before Barry spoke again.

“Last night meant the world to me,” Barry said quietly. “I was pretty sure we weren’t going to stop fighting, even after last night. But Angela, don’t you get it? I already told you why I was such a dick to you. I know that doesn’t make you have warm fuzzy feelings for me, but don’t you get why? Don’t you understand I was being so mean to you was because I couldn’t deal with being in love with a girl who didn’t love me back? And then last night came, and to finally have you in my arms, doing to you what I had only dreamed of before…I never thought it would happen. I never thought you’d see me that way. I wanted you to find me. I wanted you to find me last night. I was praying that you’d come after me. I got tired of chasing after you, Angela. I wanted to know for sure that you thought I was worth the chase, and the only way I could do that was to stop running after you and to wait for you to come to me.” Piercing.

“So,” I said in a small voice. “Now that we’re here…now what?” Barry shrugged.

“Two things,” Barry said. “Wait for whatever sign from God that says we’re supposed to be together. And in the meantime…just enjoy the fact that we’re together. We’re here at the cabin. We have right here and now. I don’t know what else we have after this.” I nodded and closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure if he meant that the end was coming for us, but this certainly was not like in the movies.

 

                                    *            *            *            *

“Pull your corner tighter, that’s it,” I said as we remade the bed. I refused to look at him but looking down at the bed burned my eyes.

“That should do,” Barry said quietly. We stood by the bed, not looking at each other. This was the sort of thing I would expect from a one-night stand.

“Well,” Barry said. I sighed.

“It was nice,” I blurted out. I chewed on my lip. I had seen too many comedies.

“It was,” Barry admitted quietly. We kept standing there until out of the top of my eye, I saw Barry moving for the door.

“Wait!” I yelled, sprinting after him and throwing myself in his arms.

“Angela?” Barry said, confused by my outburst.

“Wait, don’t go,” I begged, the tears pouring out of my eyes from the pressure of being suppressed all morning. “Barry, please. Don’t leave me.”

“Angela, if you’ve never had a one-night stand, it’s usually good bye here,” Barry said bitterly.

“Last night wasn’t a one-night stand!” I yelled into his chest. “It was more than that, and you know it! I’ve never done anything like last night before, but I know I meant it when I told you I love you. Barry, I know I hurt your feelings when I told you I was thinking about Matt. I know I hurt you when I told you I loved Matt at Starbucks. I wish that if I had known it was you all long that I would have gone to you. I can’t say for certain that I would have loved you then. I’m not sure about the past; all I know is that you’re the one I’m in love with now. I don’t love Matt—at least not anymore. I haven’t for a while. And if what you told me in November is true, then I must have never really loved him at all. But you’re the one I want to be with. You’re the one I miss at night. You’re the one I wanted to be with for Christmas. You’re the one I wanna be with for the rest of my life, Barry. Please, Barry.” I felt my legs turn to jelly and I was on my knees.

“Angela,” Barry choked out.

“Barry, I’m begging you,” I said, holding him by his legs. “Don’t go.” Barry shut his eyes tightly.

“I’d have to know that you love me for sure,” he said. “And not Matt.”

“What do I have to do?” I said gently. “I’ll do anything.” Barry opened his eyes slowly and looked down at me tenderly.

“Anything?” he asked just as tenderly.

“Anything,” I said. “I don’t love him, Barry. I love you.” Barry never missed a beat.

“Come home with me,” Barry said. “Move in with me.” I gaped.

“What?” I said. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious,” Barry said. “I’m done being without you. I’m done being alone. I want you to be with me. I want to come home and find you there so there’s something I can look forward to. Angela…I’m begging you. Come home with me.” Barry leaned back, unsure of what the tears in my eyes meant.

I leapt up and kissed him passionately, almost knocking him over. The previously neat sheets were wrinkled again, and it couldn’t have made me smile wider. I began to pull his shirt off, loving the sound of him moaning loudly.

“Don’t ever leave me,” Barry sighed as I toyed with his belt buckle. “Ever.”

“Never,” I said, stripping my blouse off again. “This is worth getting kicked out of the motel for.”

“You should have stayed at our cabin,” he said, his breath quickening as I pulled his pants and boxers down. “That wouldn’t have cost you a thing.”

“Except my virginity,” I said, pulling my skirt, slip, and panties off to prove the point.

“So, which one would have cost less?” Barry asked, reaching up for my chest and massaging. I moaned loudly.

“Money cannot buy this,” I said, throwing my head back.

Splat. Barry opened his eyes and froze, wondering what that sound was. I definitely knew that splat noise could not have been Barry.

Splat. Giggling accompanied the sound. I heard another splat, seeing an explosion of white in the previously clean window, except for the snow on the windowsill.

“The hell?” Barry said, not thinking and walking over to the window and opening it. I wasn’t sure where the snowball hit him until he crouched over wailing with his hands over his crotch and hit his head on the cold windowsill.

“Babe!” I yelled, coming over to him. “Are you ok?” A snowball hit me on the side of the face, and the snow melted, and I yelped from the freezing water dripping across my naked body.

“Damn, she’s got a nice rack,” a teenaged boy said. “No wonder Barry took her home!”

“David, you little s**t!” Barry yelled, blocking his face from another snowball with his arm. “One of these days I’m gonna castrate you!” I yelped again, getting a snowball directly in the chest, and Barry shielded me with his body, wrapping his left arm around me.

“What a way to spend the night at Grandma’s!” David yelled, the rest of the teenaged boys laughing and making more snow missiles. Barry flipped David the birdie before shutting the window and grabbing our clothes.

“Let’s just go back to your motel and get your stuff,” Barry said. “We’re not gonna get hit with snowballs in Manhattan Beach.”

 

 

“You’re sure Bryan’s not coming back soon?” I asked breathlessly as Barry pinned me to the door of his room.

“No way,” Barry said, kissing up and down my neck. “He’s out doing his usual Christmas thing.”

“What, passing out drunk on park benches?” I asked, reaching into his shirt and massaging his chest.

“That’s Thanksgiving,” Barry said, licking my cheek. “He usually gets stoned on Christmas and tries to hit on all the volunteers at the soup kitchen.”

“Oh joy to the world,” I said, kicking off my shoes and hearing them hit the metal frame of his bed. “And what a nice big bed you have there, Granny.”

“All the better to eat you with,” Barry said in that dark, seductive voice of his and tugging me towards the bed. “I love you.”

“I love you,” I whispered, looking into his green eyes. The green made me feel like he and I had never been more alive.

“Mmm, so much better,” Barry said, laying me gently on his bed. “I knew I got the right sized bed.”

“If none of the other girls complained, I think you got it right,” I said winking and reaching into his pants. Barry took my hands out, pinned my hands over my head and looked at me seriously.

“There hasn’t been any other girl in my bed,” Barry said firmly. “You’re it. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted in this bed, and now that I have you here, this is exactly where I want you to stay. I’d need a very good reason to let you go. But now that you’re here, I’m gonna make you wish you were here sooner.” Barry leaned down and passionately kissed me for a long time before he released his right hand to touch me again. I got more excited each time I heard the sound of our lips smacking, the bed creaking under us, and more importantly, the sound of Barry telling me how much he loved me. That was when I realized that he was the only one I wanted to hear that from for the rest of my life.

“I’m sorry about the mess in my room,” Barry said, once we were exposed to each other again. “I didn’t realize both of us were coming home.”

“Barry, this is perfect, I couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for anything more,” I said, thrusting up, making him get the message. I felt him push into my body again and I pushed up against him, feeling like it had been forever since we had made love.

“Barry, I need to borrow your Ace of Base CD, that chick I’m hitting up on—holy s**t, dude!” Bryan yelled, dropping his lit fatty on the carpet. I screamed and grabbed the black comforter over us in a weak attempt to shield our bodies, but Barry got tangled in the comforter, trying to get out before the joint could set the building on fire.

“You dumbass!” Barry yelled, shoving Bryan out. “I told you I don’t care if you get high, but how many times have I told you not to smoke that s**t in the apartment?!”

“But he was smoking it when I came over here last,” I protested. Bryan looked at me, betrayed.

“Thanks a lot!” Bryan yelled past Barry as he shoved Bryan out the room.

“And you have enough money to buy your s**t, you can buy your own damn CD,” Barry said, shoving Bryan for effect. Bryan huffed and snatched the Ace of Base CD that had been sitting on the coffee table the whole time.

“God, sorry about interrupting, I know you needed to get laid,” Bryan said nonchalantly, plopping onto the couch and opening a half eaten back of Cheetos.

“It’s none of your business,” Barry snapped.

“God, if you don’t like me getting in your business, why don’t you get your own apartment?” Bryan said carelessly, not realizing what he was telling Barry. “Besides, then you don’t have to worry about me walking in on you and the wife anymore.”

“We’re not—” Barry started but then his jaw shut tightly and he went into deep thought. I wrapped the blanket around myself and walked to him, unsure of what he was thinking. Very calmly and quietly, Barry pushed me back to his room, and closed the door gently. I sat on the bed, and waited until he joined me. I stroked his left hand, one finger at a time, and I remember that I stayed on his left ring finger for an extra moment longer than the rest.

“Barry, don’t listen to him, he’s high,” I said gently. “He’s going to say some stupid stuff.” Barry nodded, not looking at me. My heart began to race, but I remained calm otherwise.

“It’s time,” Barry said. I blinked my eyes.

“For what?” I asked. Barry nodded again, sure of himself now.

“For a new home,” Barry said. “A new housemate. And a new life.”

“Why, did you see the sign?” I asked, mocking the Ace of Base song. Barry’s lips slowly curved up into a smile.

"I did," he said softly, pushing me back onto the covers to finish what we had begun. "I know which way to go now. It's the same direction I've always been going. And it always leads to you."

 

Reviews

[Drew Wade]

Well, good thing I got to this one.. this is, in many ways, actually, i think the best of the whole series.. I think that the dialogue is the sharpest, and wittiest, and I think that there's a ton of character development and moments of warmth. This is totally worthy of being put in the main story. I think it adds and does not take away and really makes me identify with the characters..

At this point, I have to tell you I have a confession to make. i did not read the smutty one. I can't handle that stuff. sorry. Okay..

anyway, dialogue, character development, moments of humor.. everything good. the only thing, and i do mean the ONLY thing I have a problem with is that you use the word teenaged.. which bothers me.. but I think it's just a stylistic thing. i would have gone with teenage. but that's why everyone's different. good story all around. peace.