Distance

There is a distance
between me and them.
Its far and wide
its overwhelmingly deep.
I come to break this distance
down with this light.
I hold it in my hand
for them to see.
They lift their eyes.
I'm here to break the distance so
I can show them...God.
Welcome to the Light.
Your free.

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

Freestyle yet I feel no rhyme scheme? You should count the meter of each line and look at each ending word. Whether you make 1 rhyme with 3, there should be a cycle. This needs some work.

[Starrie09]

Thanks for the review. Im not much of a poet, but I feel something that is laying on my heart I just write it down. I like it If my poems don't rhyeme, that just me. But other then my mistakes, how do you like the poem overall?

[justjenn_2u]

I love the meaning. I see so much talent ahead of you if you want to format it. I can help you.

[Starrie09]

Yeah sure. Thanks, I might not be perfect but I do want to get better.

[justjenn_2u]

I will personally help on this one. I sincerely want to extend some tips.

[Starrie09]

Im open to any advice you could give me.