Attempts at Romance

I want to look into your eyes and see how deep they are, see the colours, the tiny dots of shade and the dancing lights

But I can’t, cos I’m s**t at eye contact

I want to hold you tight and be able to feel you as you move even the smallest amount, I want to know where every graze or dent is on your body

But I can’t, cos I can’t deal with that much touch

I want to take pictures with you, selfies with weird faces, dramatic couple shots and artsy black and white photographs for memories

But I can’t, cos I hate how I look

I want to tell my parents all about you, about us and about how I’m your boyfriend and you’re my girlfriend

But I can’t, cos that’s a hard conversation

I want to be able to talk to you all the time in all situations, I want to be able to tell you how I feel at and express how much you mean to me

But I can’t, cos I go mute

There is so much I want to be able to do but I can’t do it all but I can do a little,

I can watch you as you peacefully sleep and stare at your eyelids and imagine that they are open, I can make eye contact for a second more when I see you so I can detect the subtle flecks of blue and green within them

I can hold a different part of you close to me, I can run my hand along it and notice new things and feel like I know you a little better

I can take pictures of you and sometimes let you take pictures of me, just so that we get that but not show another soul

I can tell other people about you and I can mention little things, I can build up to that difficult conversation and tell them about you and me

I can tell you how much I care when I can, check on you as often as time allows and I can write some crappy poetry, mention it in that and perform it out loud

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

I read this poem twice and both times saw myself in it when I was young. I've often wondered if I was the only one of my kind.
The title is perfect and the contents well put. Loved it.

[Quinn]

Hi, thanks for the review. It is very real for me but my other half gets that so she is fine with it. Glad you could find yourself in some of my work xx