Thank You

I created this emotion from scratch,

Worked real hard to get it alive

Like Frankenstein, and snap.

A life of its own and its gaining control

And you came in like a medic

With steady warmth and your steady gaze

And friendly face, unfazed.

You taught me better,

how to calm down my mind

And I find, you released me from this fetter

Graciousness exudes from me to you

This friendship glides the road that’s true.

 

Reviews

[Ban Heo]

I really like how purposeful and crafted the language is here. It reads nicely, with that said I fee like "how to calm down my mind" could be rephrased a bit. It disconnects the reading for me and doesn't do it in a seemingly purposeful way. Also, I'd like Frankenstein to be shown instead of told. Maybe read the creation scene in that book and draw a bit from the language there? Good job :)

[Starfruitanimal]

thankyou for your constructive criticism :)

[Ban Heo]

:) This site needs more of it I think. Don't get me wrong, this is great, but the best flattery comes from an honest man.

[Starfruitanimal]

that is true, it can (well usually) only make you better from another's perspective

[SparrowSong]

There are times we find ourselves out of control, it is nice when someone comes in, offers a steady hand, and a compassionate heart to see us through and balance us out. Beautifully written, we could all use friends like this.

[Starfruitanimal]

thank you again :) i really appreciate your comments

[Epipsychologist]

Not to read too much into this, but are you saying that emotions are like the creature, and that they take control of us after creating them, because that's profound, and true. And the rest, about loving someone who helps you escape your mind forged manacles, also makes me feel good. I love this poem, thank you.

[Starfruitanimal]

thank you for your comment. that's actually exactly what i meant. sometimes we endanger ourselves, and others can only help if we let them :)