A Short Introduction of Katie Star

A short essay describing myself through literary allusions.

I am a dynamic figure, often seen reading books and spell-casting. I have been known to fight dementors during my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in areas of happiness retention. I translate ethnic slurs for giants, I write award-winning novels, and I manage my time.

Occasionally, I pilot a bronze dragon. I woo men with my sensuous and godlike lyre playing, I can swim through waters at unflagging speeds, and I can cook 15 minutes fudge in ten minutes. I am an expert in archery, a veteran in flings, and an outlaw on Olympus.  

Using only a flute and my wits, I once single-handedly defended a small village in a fairy-tale from a horde of plague rats. I play classical cello, I was scouted by the Panthers, my research is the subject of numerous books. When I am bored, I solve deadly mazes in my backyard. On Mondays after school, I teach children about dragons free of charge.

  

I am a Renaissance artist, a concrete scientist, and a ruthless chest-master. Dwarven critics swoon over my original line of armored evening wear. I don't bleed. I am a private citizen, yet I receive Iris messages. I have been caller number nine and won the wrestling tickets. Last summer I toured New Rome with the Argo Two. I fight  with the 300.

My deft potion recipes have earned me fame in the Gryffindor common-room circles. Children trust me. I can hurl bludgers at people with deadly accuracy. I once fought a werewolf, a blob, and a yeti in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining-hall that evening. I know the exact location of every spell-book in the library. I have performed several covert operations for DA.

I sleep during the day; when I do sleep, I sleep in a coffin. While on vacation in New York, I successfully fought Nosi who had cornered the god of archery. I balance, I run, I dodge, I fly, and my debts are all paid.

On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact napping. Years ago, I discovered the answer to the Universe and wrote it down. I have made extraordinary instruments using only the bones and ligaments from dead animals. I breed prize winning cows. I have won bullfights in Crete, cliff-diving contests on the Sceironian Rocks, and trivia contests in Thebes.

I have played Macbeth, performed a sea rescue, and have spoken with Teresa.

But I have not yet gone to college.