My Side

A Story by Star Reaper3

This is a story from my life from my point of view. I had no closure in this relationship. I'm hoping this will help me understand my past.

Love is a finicky thing when you are young. I still struggle to understand what we had and it still pains me to think of you. I have since found love. It feels as though I am being taken back in time when I wake in the dead of night wanting you, craving your touch. I don't love you, or at least not anymore. But if I don't love you anymore than why does my mind wander back to you.

I was fifteen when I first saw you. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. I had never seen something so innocent before. But you weren't as a innocent as you led me to believe were you? Did you know the damage you would end up doing? Did you know how madly in love with you I would become?

I was watching you while we worked in that kitchen. I fell further in love with every passing minute and with every smile I'd see when you would glance my way. But it wasn't me that you wanted.

Months passed this way. You never noticed how I looked at you. I can remember the first night you called me. You asked for my number. I remember thinking this was finally it. This was my chance.

He dumped you. You cried to me asking me to explain where you went wrong. I didn't know what to tell, I was so caught in my own feelings that couldn't process yours. All I could think is that I loved you and I wished my love could lift you up. But that was not meant to be. All I could think to say is " You're taking up my minutes, I need to go." I watched you go through this two more times before you gave up on relationships. Did you know that I cried for your pain? Did you know that by the time you were ready to give me a chance I had felt ruined. I felt like everything you went through was my fault. If I had only told you I loved you then maybe you could have seen me differently before the other guys hurt you.

Do you remember the short walks we would take after work? I do. We would wait till your mother would come to pick you up. I remember telling you one night as your mom pulled up that I loved you. You didn't say it back you just got in the car and left. I thought I had done something wrong because you stopped going for walks with me after that.

Sadness had crept into my heart after that. I wanted the pain to go away. You called me about a week and a half after that. You told me you loved me to. I was in heaven. We started dating soon after that. But it was not meant to last. You see as I had stated before I felt ruined and responsible for the pain you went through with your exes so I couldn't give you all of me. I am sorry.

We had a good run didn't we? Is there a way we could have made it work? I don't think there was a way for me to trust you after what happened with TD. I forgive you and I hope you can forgive me someday. But I do have to thank you. If it weren't for what we went through I don't think I would have been so patient to wait for the right girl after you. Thanks to things you taught me about being in a relationship I am now with a woman that I love dearly, and we have a beautiful son together. I wish you the best and thank you for showing me love.