Secrets

Written Fall 2008

So you want to know all my secrets?

They're burning inside of me, clawing their way out --

An ember that turns me to black lace and denim;

pearls against a pale canvas of inked skin;

wide-eyed, wicked, and dreaming in red.

I want to sing to you songs with my pen

that scream of rebellious yearnings nearly from birth;

star-lit trailer park nights scented with smoke and cigarettes.

These were the love offerings of my father --

a nearly intangible being at times, and thus

the dearest and quietest desire of my heart.

So I smoke his cigarettes and sip a bit of his spirit

as I watch an autumn sun flicker against rainbowed stars

falling from the friendly trees and into a laughing creek.

Sometimes my mind wanders

away into the past; it is familiar there

where my beloved ghosts were yet alive.

But it is here that I belong:

With a man who makes me feel like Bonnie and Clyde --

or Johnny and June.

Sunsets in wooded mountain-tops and dawn's enlightened glow --

This is my heaven, and I have already seen its glimmer.

The truth is, however, that I am my mother.

I will sing these ink songs -- these pieces of my soul,

but I will give you only pieces of the silent parts of me,

for revealing it all would remove all doubt; all mystery.

The true secrets are the images of these dreams

tucked away among the notebook papers in the back of my mind.

Like a first kiss, they can never reoccur;

like snowflakes the viewpoints are never the same.

These things can only be seen through my eyes--

And so I keep the sweetest secrets for myself.

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love the way your poem so intimately portrays your thoughts, your relationship with your father, and the undeniable connection between your past, present, and future.

The following lines particularly spoke to me:

"These were the love offerings of my father --
a nearly intangible being at times, and thus
the dearest and quietest desire of my heart."

"The true secrets are the images of these dreams
tucked away among the notebook papers in the back of my mind."

I think this is just beautiful!

Linda Marie Van Tassell

[Angel Baby]

Simply beauitful write, captivated me from start to finish....true talent. Look forward to reading more of your writes. P.W.

[James Jason Dye]

This is a very beautiful and well-written representation of a human soul.

[scorpion-red]

i very much liked this poem and would like to talk to you about other pieces you made or plan to make if u will allow me

[Spat Queen]

/I want to sing your songs with my pen...
starlit trailer park nights scented with smoke and cigarettes.../
I love the way this line puts a finger on the psychological attachment that people obtain to cigarettes and smoke. It is well known, I believe, that smells are attached strongly with the memory parts of our brain. There always seems to be so much negativity associated with cigarettes and trailor parks and these lines show a person who knows how to throw that half empty glass out and find a beauty in things. I find this monumentally admirable.

/...But it is here that I belong:
With a man who makes me feel like Bonnie and Clyde --
or Johnny and June./
These lines speak for themselves as they truly speak to me.

/...I will sing these ink songs...
The true secrets are the images of these dreams...
like snowflakes the viewpoints are never the same./
I am not much for sentimentality in poetry most often, but this piece has so much gorgeous and well thought images it has easily become a favorite of mine. I absolutely dig this. Wow

[Violet Rose]

It's chock-full of lovely imagery. Pearls and embers and glimmers! The message altogether is translated poetically. I like it.

[JudyC]

star-lit trailer park nights scented with smoke and cigarettes.

Your images, such as this one, beautifully convey the sentiments in this poem. The lines about your father really hit home--a heartfelt description of yearning for love. I can relate to the last two lines. Thanks for sharing.

[Everchanging Disaster]

I love this with all my heart-I think this piece is fine because to me it demonstrates how sometimes you lock away your memories and they can become secrets. The imagery is once again breath taking..."as I watch an autumn sun flicker against rainbowed stars falling from the friendly trees and into a laughing creek."

I hate that your words are taking up all the space in my favorites!
But truly this poem really touches me.