Have Faith In Me

The only feeling that could run through my body was sickness. I fell back onto my knees, pushing my palms out against the concrete to soften the blow. It felt like someone had just slammed their fist into my stomach. I was choking on my breath, my gag reflex was driving me insane. Seconds later, I was throwing up… blood. That’s not normal. I whimpered under my breath, the pain overwhelming me. My arms were shaking too hard, I was surprised I had enough strength to keep up on my knees and hands. I relaxed, feeling my body being relieved of having to give off strength. Someone’s arms were around me and I was fading. My eyes were blacking out and I no longer felt the need to breathe. So I gave up…

My eyes shot open. Ugly white sheets surrounded me in an uncomfortable bed. There was a side table with a pink bucket and a box of tissues. I looked to the other side and saw that kid. The same kid that I kissed, that scared me, that was ruining the very core of my being.

“Why are you here?” I whispered, expecting my voice to be louder. Seconds later, I felt the words burn my throat, and I cringed at the pain, pushing my neck out.

He scrambled up quickly, “Don’t talk.” He got a plastic cup, sitting next to the tissues and pitcher of water and gave it to me. I couldn’t help but to obey his alluring voice and took the cup, drinking slowly. It burned, terribly.

“Why are you here?” I whispered again, ignoring the pain.

“I said don’t talk.” He kept his back to me and I studied the stripes on his jacket.

“Then answer me,” I whispered again, just loud enough to hear a hint of my voice.

“I’m here because I saved you. It would be rude to just leave.”

I scowled, “What would you know about kindness? You made me look you in the eyes. That was the most cruel thing. You scared my wrists with your inane temper and too long fingernails.”

He looked into my eyes intensely, like he was going to slit my throat any second. I closed mine. I wasn’t able to look into his eyes again. Then I felt his fingers brush against my jaw. I shivered lightly and let my breathing fade, into a silent whisper. “Calm down..” he whispered into my ear and kissed behind it. I don’t know how I did it, but my arms pushes gently on his chest, telling him to step back. He took one step back, moving his hands away from me.

“Why?” he questioned.

I turned my head, “Because you’re killing me that’s why.. Because I don’t know your name. I know your face and I’ve fallen in love with your appearance. I’m stopping myself from wanting more.”

“What’s so wrong with wanting more when you can have it?”

“I can’t have it,” I closed my eyes again.

“Says who?”

“Says I. I can’t get myself into something. Nothing never hurts you.”

“And something does?” I nodded. He stepped back to me and ran his fingers down my arm. “But isn’t it worth it? Having your heart beat this fast, your fingers shake with pleasure-”

“Your throat burn from blood being forced out of it,” I interrupted, looking below his eyes, along his perfectly structured cheek bone. His head turned and his eyes diverted.

“But that wasn’t my fault…”

“I know. I’m sorry. But we were speaking metaphorically.”

“Says who?” He looked.

“You said, ‘having your heart beat this fast, your fingers shake with pleasure.” That’s happening to me, not you.”

He chuckled, “I only said it from experience. My fingers shake each time they touch you. Your skin gives me butterflies.” At this point, I would have blushed, but, I didn’t.

My eyes closed and I wanted him to hold me, his arms around me. I could feel it, the picture residing in my head.

“My name’s Jacob, yours?” I saw a smile form and looked into his eyes.

“Joshua…”

He leaned closed, his face inches from mine. This only made me mad. “I hate you, Joshua,” he smirked then kissed me with the most intensity and greatest passion I’ve felt. It felt almost as right as it did wrong.

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