Ricky (and Emergency Bourbon [courtesy of QC])

This is completely the writing of my friend (with a Questionable Content reference).

"Gods damn it..." Ricky muttered, slumping down against a tree, face in his paws. "If I ever get out of here, I'm so buying a GPS..." He lifted his head, looking around; everything seemed identical, each path apparently leading on into more trees, as if the forest had no end. Sighing quietly, he closed his eyes, mentally retracing each step he'd taken since he had entered the forest.

After a moment, a rustling sound disrupted his thoughts, coming from the trees above. He kept his eyes shut, sensitive ears perked to pick up the slightest sound. It didn't take long to pick up; a girlish giggle from the treetops, followed by the flutter of wings.

"I hear you." He stated, opening his eyes and looking up to the canopy. 

"It can hear us, sister." A male voice whispered. "It knows we're here, why bother hiding?"

The female heaved a heavy, rather theatrical sigh. "As you say, brother." She replied. A few seconds later, a pair of white foxes descended from the trees. Each bore nine tails, all tipped with small fireballs. They were dressed in the finery of a pair of nobles, ornately decorated and extravagant kimonos. The female placed a paw on the pommel of the sheathed blade at her waist. "It invades our territory, brother."

"It wishes to leave." The male replied. "It sits beneath our tree because it doesn't know the way."

"Then it is lost." The female declared, paw leaving her blade's pommel. "We shall show it the way to escape our forest."

F****n' fox demons... Ricky thought, quickly tiring of the gender-neutral pronoun that was being used to refer to him. "Listen, can you two just show me the way out already? I've got things to do, people to see."

"It wishes to see people!" The female squealed. "We should show it the people!"

The male chuckled, shaking his head. "It wishes to see its people, sister." He said. "We have none of its people here."

"Of course we do." The female stated. "It is a Varixian. A male, I think."

Ricky rolled his eyes. Better than 'it', I guess.

"We only have one Varixian here." The male said. "The warrior with the dark eyes."

The female nodded. "We should show the boy the dark-eyed warrior."

"... As you wish, sister." The male replied, grabbing Ricky by the arm and dragging him off, deeper into the forest.

 

...

 

"The warrior with dark eyes." The female fox demon said, running a paw over the petrified Varixian's cheek. "He invaded our territory, just as you did, boy."

Ricky smirked. "Are you two just looking for a reason to attack me?"

The male licked his fangs, tails fanning out. "The child is in a hurry to die, sister."

"We can help him along." The female responded, drawing her sword.

Ricky snapped his fans open, holding them ready and focusing on the female.

The female raised her blade, grasping the hilt in her jaws and dropping to all fours, beginning to circle Ricky. She flicked one of her tails forward, launching the fireball from the tip, the burning projectile intercepted by the Varixian boy's fans.

The male fox, meanwhile, flicked open a shackle, leaping forward and closing it around Ricky's left ankle. Secured to the shackle was a long chain, the other end of the chain attached to a red metal sphere. "We have him, sister!"

Ricky's eyes widened. He held his fans out, batting them downward furiously, attempting to rise from the ground, but to no avail. Once he reached the end of the chain's length, he could go no higher.

The female lunged at him, knocking him out of the air. She turned the sword in her jaws, holding it by the pommel and diving down toward Ricky.

Ricky quickly released his grip on the fans, his right paw grabbing the chain that connected the mace to his shackle. He sat up and began whirling it over his head, releasing it at the last second and sending the mace hurtling through the air, the metal sphere slamming into the point of the female fox's sword, the hit shattering the blade and driving the pommel and hilt into her throat.

The male gave a howl of anguish, ripping both of his swords from their sheaths, the blades coated with blue fire. "Die, damn vermin!"

Ricky tossed the mace upward again, rolling backward and swinging his legs up as it came back down, kicking it toward the fox demon and scoring a jarring hit, the mace colliding with the top of the fox's skull.

The fox's eyes rolled back in his head, his body falling to the ground. The fire on his blades extinguished itself, as did the fireballs on the tips of his tails.

"Backward-rolling Pelé kick." Ricky said, picking up his fans and securing them to the ring on the back of his shirt. "Yet another move I never thought I'd be able to use in combat." He hoisted the mace by its chain, making his way through the forest. With the foxes' illusion broken, it took mere minutes to find his way out.

 

...

 

"Damn," Glide muttered, "what the f**k happened to you?"

Ricky groaned, opening the door to his father's room. "I f*****g hate kitsune... You still keep the emergency bourbon under your bed? I need a drink..."