He Got It From His Mama

This is completely the writing of my friend. Except for about two lines. Wow.

"And we are now hopelessly lost." Shetani stated. "Way to go, Glide."

"Motherfuck you." Glide muttered. "We ain't lost. I just don't know where we are right now."

Shetani rolled her eyes. "That's the definition of being lost."

"Yet again, motherfuck you." Glide responded, glaring at the goddess. He opened his mouth to make another comment, but didn't get the chance, Therali's paw closing over his muzzle.

"Shu'p." The bat god breathed. "Listen."

Glide listened, trying to pick up what Therali had heard. After a moment, he heard it, as well; demons barking battle orders, coming from further ahead of the group.

"They know we're here." Therali said, removing his paw from Glide's muzzle.

Glide shook his head. "No, they don't. They're ordering attacks against a single female."

Therali raised an eyebrow. "When did you learn their language?"

"Contrary to what you may believe, I specialize in more than just hittin' things." Glide replied, grinning. "Now come on, let's get closer, I wanna see what's going on."

 

...

 

Glide stared, dumbfounded, at the carnage before him. By the time the group had gotten there, most of the demons were already dead; only three remained, two of which were swiftly dispatched by a pair of flying kukri knives. The knives sliced through the demons' throats, then whirled back into the paws of a mongoose woman. "... Dude..."

The mongoose glanced over, flashed him a grin, and tucked her knives into her belt. "Myotis, it's good to see you out and about."

The third demon lunged at her, meeting only a stiff elbow strike that brought it to the ground. The mongoose turned and fell backward, dropping her elbow on the back of the demon's neck.

"Okay, first of all, nicely done." Glide said. "Second, how the hell did you get here?"

The mongoose stood up, brushing off the back of her jeans and adjusting her halfshirt. "You really think I'd let those two w***e-demons attack me and not try to find out how they were able to?"

"That still doesn't answer my question." Glide stated. "How'd you get here?"

"I beat the method out of those succubi." The mongoose replied.

Glide's eyes widened. "... You not only beat them in combat... you whupped on them afterwards, until they told you how to get here?"

"Of course."

Niqi raised a paw. "Uh, I'm a little lost. Who's she?"

"Oh, we've never been properly introduced." The mongoose said, extending a paw. "Jessica Koruko. Call me Jessie."

Niqi grinned, shaking Jessica's paw. "Dominique. Just Niqi's fine. So, you're Glide's mom?"

Jessica nodded. "The one and only."

 

...

 

"Just so we're completely clear," Glide said, "my mother is the only one allowed to call me Myotis."

Shetani rolled her eyes. "We know, Glide. Just pick up Zi'Ran's scent already."

"Shut up an' f**k you." Glide muttered. "He shouldn't be too far away. Few miles or so."

Revan raised an eyebrow. "A few miles? On foot?"

"Yes." Glide replied. "On foot. Deal with it."

"Unless you can magic up a car for us to use," Niqi added, rolling her eyes. She paused. "On second thought, can you?"

Revan laughed. "How about I just conjure a damn flying carpet? No, we're stuck walking."

Niqi sighed. "A relaxing stroll through Hell it is, I suppose."

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[KEi]

//"And we are now hopelessly lost." Shetani stated. "Way to go, Glide."
"Motherfuck you." Glide muttered. "We ain't lost. I just don't know where we are right now."
Shetani rolled her eyes. "That's the definition of being lost."
"Yet again, motherfuck you."//
Best. Opening conversation. EVAR!