Project Jericho

This is completely the writing of my friend.

Glide landed in a crouch outside the Crusaders' headquarters, in Seisen's Northern Cross. "No wonder Shetani likes instant travel. Useful as all- wait, who the f**k am I talkin' to?" Shaking his head, he pushed open the doors and stepped inside.

Kigetski's corpse sat against the far wall, Full Throttle on the floor beside him. Glide approached the fallen Crusader, nudging him with his boot. "Damn, I hope you at least put up a fight..." He muttered, grabbing the sword. As he took the sheath from Kigetski's back, the Crusader's corpse slumped over, revealing claw marks across the back of his neck. "... Wolf claws." Glide hissed, spinning around and scanning the room for life. Seeing no movement, he set his swords down and strapped Full Throttle's sheath to his back. "I guess you didn't put up a fight, did you, pal?" He sighed, picking up his swords and opening another portal.

Before passing through the portal, he glanced back at Kigetski's corpse one more time. Suddenly, he was struck in the back of the head, and fell to the floor. As his vision faded and everything became blurry, he saw a figure pass through his portal. Then, there was only blackness.

 

...

 

Glide came around a few hours later, cursing quietly as he got to his feet. He took a moment to dust himself off, then patted himself down, to make sure nothing was missing. "Man, somebody's gonna get it for this..." He muttered, opening another portal and stepping through.

He landed on the beach on Saikoro. "Home sweet Hell." He snickered, taking only a few seconds to sneak into the house and grab Senpuu's sheath. Making sure not to wake anyone, he headed back outside and opened one last portal. "Wait a minute..." He murmured, glancing back at the house. "Come, Silver Bat."

The enormous shuriken came flying toward him from the window, hovering in front of him and waiting to be snatched out of the air. Grinning, the Varixian grabbed the shuriken and headed through his portal.

 

...

 

Glide was dropped on the roof of a tall building, with no way down. "Where the hell...? I wanted to go to Yochinai, you b*****d..." He snarled at the blade on his back, as if it would realize its mistake and take him to his intended destination. "Where the f**k am I?"

It was only then that the Varixian noticed the figure opposite him, sitting on the edge of the roof. He reached for Magus, but before he could even grasp the hilt, the figure - a young male with dark purple hair - addressed him. "Stay your blade, fallen one, I mean you no harm. If I was tasked with slaying you, you would lay dead upon the floor of Kigetski's hall."

"Who the hell are you!?" Glide demanded, flicking Magus from its sheath and brandishing it as he approached the younger male.

The male simply shrugged. "In life, I - or at least, my brain - was Kurtis Jericho Maxwell. Now... I'm Project Jericho. If my preference makes any difference to you, 'Jericho' will suffice." He flicked his fur-lined cloak aside - revealing stitches that appeared to hold his entire arm on - and moved over. "Sit with me. I was told not to hurt you, but my master said nothing of speaking with you. And, for gods' sakes, sheathe your blade. You're embarrassing yourself, drawing on someone with their back to you."

Glide returned Magus to its sheath, sitting beside Jericho on the edge of the roof.

"See how easy that was?" Jericho smirked. "Now that I've answered your question, you're going to answer one of mine. What makes you so f*****g special? Why are you the one my master is so worried about?"

"That would be easier to answer if I actually knew." Glide replied, scratching the back of his neck. "I think it might have something to do with the fact that I was strong enough to boot the f****r out of my head. Maybe it's because he can't kill me, since I'm already dead. Who the f**k knows?"

Jericho nodded, leaning back and staring up at the sky. "An interesting answer, to be sure."

"If we're gonna be playing Hannibal and Clarice," Glide muttered, "then it's my turn to toss a question your way. Who the hell is he? And for that matter, what?"

"I don't know about what he is, but I do know his name." Jericho said. "He calls himself Antel." He paused for a moment, considering his next question. "You seem quite angry and prone to violence, fallen one. Tell me about your father. Was he a drunk? A womanizer? Did he often come home and beat you and your mother?"

"... You really are like Hannibal." Glide commented. "My biological father wasn't part of my life until about eleven years ago. The 'fathers' I grew up with weren't all that interested in beating my a*s. They were more interested in getting their c***s in it."

Jericho nodded again. "That must have been very traumatic for a young boy. Is that why you feel uncomfortable truly opening up to people? Are you afraid of being taken advantage of again, or used and simply discarded afterwards, like some cheap w***e?"

Glide rolled his eye. "Quit trying to mindfuck me, you friggin' psycho. Tell me what Antel's plans are. Why was he having me destroy the gods' temples?"

"Without places of mass-worship, the gods become mortal." Jericho responded, sitting back up and staring at Glide with mismatched red and blue eyes. "Those who slay the mortal gods gain their powers. If a single entity destroys every god, they will gain the power to unmake existence, remake the universe as that entity sees fit." He wore a sly smirk as he turned his unblinking gaze back toward the clouded sky. "Your stepfathers' sexual abuse is the reason you have trouble playing a non-dominant role in a relationship." He stated. "But why are you so easily irritated and quick to resort to violence? Were you beaten severely during your childhood by the other children at your school?"

Glide shook his head. "Not really. No more than the average kid... Okay, maybe I did get beaten down a few times, but it wasn't that bad. Was it you that knocked me out back on Seisen?"

"Yes." Jericho responded.

"You're an a*****e." Glide muttered, rubbing his temples.

Jericho shrugged off the insult, standing up and adjusting his cloak. "Tell me, your former friend. The collie. What happened between the two of you? The memories were blocked from my master's eyes."

"I'll tell you what f*****g happened." Glide snapped. "Jason was a f*****g antisocial shitsmear that posed as my friend just long enough to get me to take out a couple of his former lackeys. When they were out of the way, he beat the living s**t out of me, raped me like my f*****g stepfathers, and left me in an alley to die. It was by sheer dumb luck that a couple of guys came by and scraped me off the pavement before I f*****g bled to death. But it doesn't matter, because that ignorant f****n' cum-catcher is dead. Everyone that's ever helped him... is dead. I killed them, and I loved it. As for Jason himself, I f*****g destroyed him. I hurt him so f*****g badly, I made that little c**t from the Child's Play movies look like Mahatma f*****g Ghandi. And just to add insult to injury, I have his f*****g soul. He's stuck in my head. All I have to do is picture something - say, a group of demons sodomizing the f****n' inbred 'roid monkey with oversized pitchforks while Satan himself slowly cuts out his eyes with a rusty razor blade so he can shove handfuls of bullet ants in one eye socket and his enormous red c**k in the other, and skullfuck the muscle-headed moron until his brain is beaten to the consistency of oatmeal - and it f*****g happens to him. And guess what? It just did. And once it's over, he's back to the way he was before it happened, minus any attitude problems." He hadn't even noticed that Jericho had started staring at him again. "What? You f*****g asked."

"You're... seriously warped." Jericho stated. "Downright psychotic, sadistic and extremely disgusting, to put it bluntly."

"I'm aware of that." Glide replied, getting up. "I've learned to live with it. I'd tell you to do the same, but if you're on Antel's side, you won't live long enough to worry about that."

"You sicken me, and I used to eat people." Jericho went silent for a few moments, then turned his gaze away from Glide. "Suddenly, staying on your good side seems like a very smart thing to do."

"Thought you'd feel that way." Glide smirked. "I'm Doctor Lecter, b***h!"

Reviews

[KEi]

"I wanted to go to Yochinai, you b*****d..."
AHAHAHA. I don't think you can know how much I missed reading Glide's hilarious one-liners.
xD

"And, for gods' sakes, sheathe your blade. You're embarrassing yourself, drawing on someone with their back to you."
I'm liking THIS guy already.
Yup.

"What makes you so f*****g special?"
You have to ASK?
He's GLIDE, for the love of God. He's awesome.

"The 'fathers' I grew up with weren't all that interested in beating my a*s. They were more interested in getting their c***s in it."
I know it isn't a funny thing, but his matter-of-factnes/bluntness made me choke on my food, then.
(Poor Glide. Bless his heart.)

"That must have been very traumatic for a young boy. Is that why you feel uncomfortable truly opening up to people? Are you afraid of being taken advantage of again, or used and simply discarded afterwards, like some cheap w***e?"
ARGH! Now I'm so torn.
He's an evil b*****d, and I love evil b*****d characters. But he's being evil TO GLIDE.
How am I meant to react to this?
EEEEEEEK.

"Quit trying to mindfuck me, you friggin' psycho."
AHA. Great comeback.