Chapter Eight: The Nightmare and the Morning Light

Sorry this took so long. I was writing a lot at the beginning, thinking, "Gee, I'll get this out pretty soon!" and then my inspiration sorta...died. Anyways, this is a chapter with a little bit of everything, but it's not all that major.

 

The rest of the night, Falian gave me a basic overview of everything pertaining to God. I couldn’t believe how into it I was becoming. He started by describing the creation of mankind (which he was there for (which I find amazing)), the fall of mankind (which was rather sad to watch him talk about, since he looked so hurt), and the solution to the fall of mankind (Jesus (in case you were wondering about that)). He wouldn’t talk much about the end of the world when I asked him. He just said that it was all in Revelation and that he honestly had no clue when it was going to happen. After we finished with all of that, we moved on to how it’s possible for humans to have a personal relationship with God, seeing as God doesn’t exist in time, and therefore is able to be with one solitary person as well as with everyone else. We got into some pretty complicated matters that made my head spin, but it all felt right in a peculiar way.

When it became late, I suggested that we should go to sleep. Falian agreed, although he looked somewhat disappointed that we couldn’t continue our conversation. To be honest, I think I wanted to continue it as much as he did. Suddenly the universe was starting to make sense. It was an exhilarating experience.

The last thing Falian said to me that night left an impact on me. “I just want you to know, Elizabeth,” he said gently, taking my hand again as I stood from my chair. He was still sitting, looking up at me. My heart beat erratically at his soft touch. “Once you get past all the rules and complications, God is simply love. Love is what matters the most in life…and thus, so does God.”

I could only nod in reply, too emotionally jumbled to speak. His words made me want to cry and dance and hug him at the same time. I moved to retreat into my room. I stopped in the doorway, looking back. There were so many things I wanted to say. A squeaked, “’Night,” was all I could manage. I hurried into my room before he could reply, embarrassed.

It was quiet again. Falian stirred slightly behind the closed door. The light coming from below it went out. I shut the lights off in my room as well, and then there was pure silence, save for the muffled sounds of traffic below.

Everything in my life had turned upside down when Falian had come into it. Even here, standing in the silence of a seemingly insignificant moment, things had changed. I wasn’t afraid of the silence anymore. It seemed peaceful instead of menacing. I walked over to the window. Below me, cars drove along the streets. People walked along the sidewalks. Lights of buildings stayed illuminated through the darkness of the night. God loved every single one of those people. They all had separate, intricate, wonderful lives, and God knew everything about every little detail in each. Some of them followed Him; some of them didn’t, and yet he loved equally. This newfound information hadn’t ceased to amaze me throughout the evening.

After musing for a while, I got down on my knees beside the bed, and for the first time in my life, I prayed.

“Dear God…I don’t know how to do this. I never considered it before. I always thought that You weren’t there, and if You were, that You weren’t listening. I apologize for that now. I wanted to thank You, for letting Falian fall to protect me. You both have saved more than my life. Although I don’t want to endanger him, he is the most wonderful thing that has ever come into my life.

“Falian said I could open up to You, so I think I’m going to do that. I don’t know what’s happening to me in relation to him. It’s almost as if my life just stopped and took a new direction when he arrived. Suddenly, I wasn’t afraid – but it’s much more than that. I think that I…I…Ugh, I’m so pathetic. I can’t even say it to You, and You already know everything. I can’t even say it to myself for goodness’ sake. But I know You understand anyway. It kind of terrifies me to trust Falian so quickly, because that trust has always been thrown back into my face in the past. But there’s a much larger part of it. I’m afraid that he won’t…that he doesn’t…ugh! You see my point.

“Anyways, ranting aside, You are the most amazing thing I have ever heard of, and I’m not scared to die anymore. Thank You for everything. Uh…Amen.”

I blushed and crawled into bed. I closed my eyes, but all I could see was Falian’s face. It kept me from sleeping. When I opened my eyes to stare at the darkness, however, it wasn’t much more inviting. I gave up and closed my eyes again, deciding that his face was a wonderful backdrop anyway.

I was sitting alone with Falian. There was nothing else; it was just him and I. Under any other circumstances, I would be utterly blissful. But this was different. There was a wall between us. I had a confession to make in order to tear that wall down, but I didn’t want him to leave because of it. So I waited alone, debating.

Once I could bear no longer to remain so close to him and yet so far, I decided that I would confess. “Falian?” I asked quietly.

His eyes turned upon me. They were condescending, judging. “What is it?” he asked me.

I was incredibly intimidated. Just say it I kept thinking, but it was so hard, looking into those eyes. I couldn’t look away. There was a physical force making me look directly at him. Determination welled up in me. I was going to break that wall. So I said it. “I love you.”

His eyes hardened, and I could feel my determination dissolve into sudden fear and anxiety that tricked down from my heart and into my soul. “I am only here to protect you,” he hissed.

“I – I just…” I tried to explain.

He looked at me as if I were a disgusting creature. “If that’s the way you think things are going to be,” he said, standing. I could still not tear my eyes away from him, so I was forced to sit still and watch as he walked away from me forever.

“Falian!” I tried to call out, but my voice was caught in my throat. I couldn’t scream. The barest of whispers came out, and I could feel tears streaming down my face.

“Falian!” I yelled, my voice suddenly given back to me. I sat up in bed, shaking. The tears that I had been crying were real, I could feel them.

Falian rushed into my room moments after I had called his name. “What is it?” he asked, anxious.

“J-just a nightmare,” I stuttered, trying desperately to come back to reality. I hadn’t confessed. He was still here. My angel was still here. I took in again how amazingly beautiful he was.

He sat down slowly on the foot of my bed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head stubbornly. I probably looked like a small child throwing a tantrum.

“Was it about Mark?” he prompted.

“No,” I said, closing my eyes. “Don’t ask me about it. I don’t want to talk.”

“Alright,” he said, sounding sad suddenly. “I am sorry.”

“I forgive you,” I replied, possibly with too much fervor.

When I opened my eyes again he was smiling. His eyes were not judging; they were warm, friendly, open. I gazed into them, feeling incredibly lucky to be in his presence.

The sudden ringing of my house phone broke the spell of the moment. “That would be for me,” I said unnecessarily, getting out of bed. On the way to the phone, I realized I had fallen asleep in the clothes from the night before. I smirked slightly. I must have been so out of it, obsessing over God and Falian.

“Meridian residence,” I spoke into the phone as I picked it up.

“Hello, I’m from Jason’s Videos, calling about an Elizabeth Meridian?” the voice on the other line responded.

I straightened up, all ears, and suppressed a yawn. This was most likely important. “This is her speaking.”

“I just called to let you know that you got the job. Congratulations, by the way. I need to know when you can start work.”

I grinned hugely. “Well, how soon is possible?”

“You can start tomorrow, if you’d like.”

“That would be great.” I was practically dancing as I paced around the kitchen, and it made me feel slightly pathetic. It was such a simple job, but I had luck so horrible that any good news made me overjoyed.

“Alright, then. Be here 8:00AM tomorrow,” the voice instructed.

The conversation ended with a click. I hung up, and then rushed into the living room, where Falian was standing. “I got the job!” I declared, smiling.

He smiled in reply. “Congratulations. I knew you would.”

I rolled my eyes. “You didn’t know. You admitted that much yourself.”

His smile widened. “I told you it was a likely guess.”

“Of course, of course. Even when the until-now omniscient Falian is guessing blind, he can still afford to predict the future about wholly undeterminable subjects,” I responded sarcastically.

Falian laughed. “‘Wholly undeterminable subjects’?” he asked.

“I’ve been keeping that one for a while,” I admitted, grinning. I glanced back at the kitchen. “That was extremely fast, though. I’ve never gotten a response to a job application so quickly.”

“Do be careful tomorrow.” Falian sounded worried.

“I haven’t forgotten what you said. I haven’t forgotten anything you’ve said,” I replied. I could feel my eyes widen, my lips part slightly, and my face go pale at that slip. I struggled to appear normal.

Falian’s expression turned confused. “Elizabeth? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled. It was blatantly obvious that I was lying. I could feel myself starting to blush. Never in my life had I blushed as frequently as I did these days.

“Elizabeth, I know that look of yours. I’ve seen it many times. You’re hiding something,” he responded.

If there was ever a time in which I wished he didn’t know every detail of my existence, this would be it. “Can you just…let it go?” I asked.

He frowned, obviously still confused. “Alright,” he agreed anyway.

There was a moment of silence. “What time is it?” I asked.

“Seven thirty,” he replied shortly.

I walked over to the large living room window that looked out over most of the city. The sun was in the last stages of a sunrise, and the clouds were shining gold and orange.

Falian came to stand beside me. When I looked up at him, he was smiling. “The sky. God’s canvas. He paints so beautifully,” he commented casually.

I smiled back at him, and then turned to the sunrise again. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a golden one. It’s always pink and purple, which can be rather nice, but gold is so rare. The colors always look so different when they’re in the sky – clearer, prettier. You just can’t capture the majesty of that color in paint,” I rambled.

“Imitations are never quite as good as the original,” Falian murmured.

I nodded, and then we stood and watched until the sunlight drained the color from the clouds and left them a blank white.

“I’m in the mood for pancakes,” I commented when it appeared as though the sunrise was over. I turned to Falian. “Want some?”

“Of course,” he replied, smiling.

He’s so glorious I thought as I searched around the kitchen for the griddle. He’s happy at the simplest things. So simple. So complicated. So lovely. Where on Earth was that griddle?

“Elizabeth?” Falian said.

I looked up at him. “What?”

“I think what you’re looking for is right here,” he responded, gesturing to the griddle that was right on top of the counter.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, trying not to look at him so he wouldn’t see me blushing, again. He was so irritatingly distracting.

After I’d made the batter, Falian asked to try cooking them. I let him, and of course, they came out perfectly golden-brown. I got out the syrup and poured us glasses of milk, and then we ate. They tasted as good as they looked. Stupid…angelic…angel.

When we’d finished eating, I panicked slightly. I didn’t have anything to do for the entire day, and I was stuck in the apartment with Falian. It’s not that I didn’t want to be stuck here with him…but I just knew I was going to slip. And then he was going to leave me, just like in my nightmare. I closed my eyes, unable to convince myself otherwise. He was just protecting me, he didn’t think of me in that way, and I was being completely irrational and obsessive.

“Elizabeth, you’re worrying me,” Falian murmured.

I sighed, opening my eyes and staring down at the table. “Why?” I asked, though I knew it was because of my little emotional episode that I’d forgotten would have been apparent on my face.

“There’s obviously something bothering you. Every now and then, you just stop, and you get the most mournful look on your face…will you tell me what’s wrong? Just a sentence, a word, and I’ll probably understand. I know everything about your life. I’ll understand,” Falian replied, gentle and quiet.

He thought he would know, but he wouldn’t. There was one aspect of my life that he didn’t know my opinion on: him. “I really, really don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled pathetically.

The concern on his face grew. “You can tell me. I won’t judge you, I swear,” he said fervently.

I wanted so badly to believe his words, but I knew he would not be expecting what I had to say. He would judge me, and he would be right in doing so. “Just drop it,” I hissed, unintentionally infusing my voice with venom. I was angry at myself, not at him, but I couldn’t help it.

He looked guilty. “I apologize. I didn’t want to pry, I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you,” he said.

The sincerity in his voice made my heart ache. He shouldn’t be feeling guilty. He shouldn’t be suffering for my idiocy. “It’s not your fault,” I replied quietly.

There was silence. It was uncomfortable, differing from what it usually was. I couldn’t stay near him much longer, although I wanted to. “Do you mind if I play – well,  blast – some music? I’m going into my room, but I don’t want to disturb you,” I said carefully.

“That would not disturb me. Feel free,” Falian responded.

I didn’t reply, getting up from my chair and hurrying into my room. I worried if I had hurt his feelings by doing so, but I didn’t contemplate the matter long. I got one of my favorite CDs. It was borderline between rock and heavy metal, but it had minimal screaming and more electric guitar. The melodies were addicting and the lyrics related well to me; that’s why it was one of my favorites. I put it into my larger CD player and blasted it. I worried about how much sound the door was blocking, and if I was harming Falian’s new ears.

I shrugged it off, lying down on my bed to listen to the songs. I started singing halfway through the first song; luckily, the sound coming out of the stereos drowned out my voice. I was moved to tears on one of the more emotional songs. I usually saw crying as a sign of weakness in myself, but I was past the point of caring. The release of crying helped me to relax. I felt better, knowing I had slightly less of a chance of going into a breakdown in front of Falian.

I stayed in my room for about an hour after the CD had finished, making sure that all traces that I’d cried were gone. While waiting for the redness to fade away, I prayed again, silently this time. I prayed that I’d be able to hold it together. I prayed that Falian wouldn’t leave. I prayed that I wouldn’t slip.

When I finally left my room, it was around 10:00AM. Falian was lounging on the couch, eyes closed. I could tell he wasn’t sleeping because of his occasional shifting. He looked so peaceful…I tore my eyes away from him after a while, noticing that I was obsessing again. I noticed the dishes had been done. “You didn’t have to do that,” I said spontaneously, frowning.

His eyes flew open, and for a second he didn’t move. He exhaled, laughing slightly. “You scared me,” he breathed. He sat up on the couch. “No, I didn’t have to, but it seemed like a proper thing to do, after you’ve so generously and continuously provided me with food and other provisions,” he explained.

I rolled my eyes. “So we’re going to have that argument again, are we? I don’t need you to do anything for me – as I’ve said before, you already saved my life multiple times.”

“You make a valid point, but performing one good deed does not suggest that you shouldn’t continue doing good deeds,” Falian responded.

I sighed and walked over to him, sitting on the couch beside him. “So, how are you?” I asked casually.

He smirked. “Did I win that one?”

I glared at him half-heartedly. “Nice to hear, I’m doing pretty well too.”

“Well, it was an abrupt subject change. I know you do that when you don’t want to admit something,” he continued, ignoring my train of thought as I was ignoring his.

I continued to glare at him, not saying anything this time. He stared back at me, and I soon found it hard to remain annoyed with him. After that, I started to lose sight of the reason I had been glaring at him. “Fine, you win!” I said rather loudly before it had disappeared completely. My statement reminded me of the conversation, and my annoyance rekindled somewhat.

Falian grinned smugly. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard that.”

I glared, once again. “You – win,” I repeated slowly.

He grinned wider, but all the smugness had evaporated. He simply looked elated.

“What?” I asked. When he remained silent, I couldn’t stop the smile from forming on my face. I began to laugh, and then grabbed the pillow behind me, throwing it at him.

“Hey!” he yelled, laughing and standing up.

I took hold of the pillow again and got up, grinning and beginning to chase him around the apartment.

“Don’t take your frustration at losing out on me!” He laughed as he ran.

We ended up back on the couch again, exhausted and out of breath, after I’d managed to get a couple more hits in. We were still grinning like the idiots we were.

“No really, how are you?” I asked again, giggling.

He looked over at me. “Absolutely amazing,” he replied, smiling genuinely.

Reviews

[Forist.johnston]

Loved the chapter, can't wait for you to post the next!

[Wolfwind Words]

I will disagree with your note saying that not much was in this chapter! I think the interplay between Falian and the girl was a most nessesary and enlightening sequence. Bringing the reader into the minds of both the characters.

You continue to amaze me with your character personalities and the dialog. I see everthing playing out like on the bigscreen and it beautiful and enthralling.

Great write. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

It flowed well and i couldn't spot anything that was mis-spelled or in bad grammerical form.
Kudos! Keep it up.

[KEi]

LULZ!

She fwapped an *angel* with a *pillow*?

xDD

Love it muchly.

Another chapter coming soon, yes?
*Nod nod nod*