Separate Tasks

This is joint-written.

Lujuria strode into the selkie king’s throne room, giving a graceful bow when he reached the throne. “Kigetski, the Head Crusader of the Northern Cross, requests a truce.” The selkie said. “He wishes to end this foolish squabbling, and requests the assistance of you and the selkies in disposing of the Southern Cross demons once and for all.”

“What could we selkies have to gain from such a truce?” The king asked. “The Crusaders are already slaughtering the demons as it is, barely leaving enough for us to hunt.”

“You’ve lost sight of the reason the selkies started hunting the demons in the first place.” Lujuria growled. “To get them to leave! Now you have the chance to get rid of them once and for all, bring peace back to Seisen, and you’re going to let it slip by without even trying to take it? Think about this. Neither the selkies nor the Crusaders have the manpower needed to do this on their own. One would surely fail without the other.”

The king took a moment to think it over, then stood. “How?” He asked. “How do you propose we fight the demons? If we come through the north gate, they’ll see us coming from miles away, especially with an army of this size.”

“It’s simple.” Lujuria said. “We march through the Dragonspine. There are tunnels that no one knows about, tunnels that the poison of a thousand generations of decaying dragons doesn’t reach. Tunnels we can use to pass through the Dragonspine with relative safety, to attack the demons from the south, where they wouldn’t expect anything to come through.”

The selkie king was silent for a long moment. Finally, he turned to one of his knights. “You.”

The knight snapped to attention. “Yes, sir!”

“Round up the selkies.” The king ordered. “I want every able-bodied selkie to have a weapon in their hands by noon. We march before moonrise.”

“Sir!” The knight barked, rushing out of the throne room.

“And as for you,” the king said, turning to Lujuria, “carry word to Kigetski. The truce is accepted, and the selkies will meet with the Crusaders inside the Northern Cross at moonrise.”

“Yes, sir.” Lujuria said, bowing again and making his way out of the throne room. Mission accomplished. Time to meet Glide at the Dragonspine Tunnels...

 

...

 

“Kigetski,” Ambree said to get the head Crusader’s attention. She stood with Belleza by her side, still clad in armor and carrying her rusty old flail.

“Oh, gods, not you again...” Kigetski muttered. “What do you want now?”

“Respect your elders, sonny!” Belleza snapped, smacking her flail against one armored hand. “Or I’ll have to beat some respect into you!”

“Calm, Belleza,” Ambree said softly. She then turned her attention back to Kigetski. “My business here is to bring you word that the king of the selkies has proposed a truce between Crusader and selkie. He would like to unite the two forces into an army to eradicate the demons once and for all from Seisen.”

“So, that old b*****d has finally realized fighting with the Crusaders isn’t going to get him anywhere?” Kigetski smirked. “Well, what’s the plan?”

“We go through the Dragonspine and take them by surprise. There are tunnels in them that nobody knows about. We can use these tunnels to avoid the poisonous air when we travel through them,” Ambree explained.

Kigetski paused, thinking. After a few moments, he finally spoke. “You two go back to the selkie king and tell him the truce is accepted. I’ll round up the Crusaders and wait for his forces to get here.”

Ambree nodded. “Sir.” She turned to Belleza. “Come on, let’s go,” she said, moving to leave.

Belleza followed along behind Ambree, muttering about her feet creaking again; she had gone back to her own little world.

 

...

 

Niqi panted heavily. “Alright!” she yelled. “Slow down already, I can barely see you!”

Glide smirked, dropping to all fours and spinning around, kicking up dust as he skidded to a stop. “I wasn’t kidding!”

“No s**t,” Niqi breathed, standing up as she reached him; it was a fairly useless effort. She collapsed onto the ground shortly after. “Give me…a minute…”

“Look on the bright side.” Glide said, grinning down at her. “At least we covered a lot of distance.”

“I know, I know,” Niqi mumbled, stopping to breathe heavily for a few moments. “How far until the Dragonspine?”

Glide pointed toward the enormous mountains in the distance. “They’re right over there. We can probably just walk the rest of the way, reach ’em in, maybe, ten or twenty minutes.”

Niqi nodded, standing up again. She gazed at the Dragonspine. “Typical. All dark and ominous,” she muttered.

“Well, yeah, of course they’re dark and ominous.” Glide laughed. “If they weren’t, the dragons wouldn’t’ve chose the place as a graveyard, ’cause it’d be a hot f****n’ tourist spot.”

Niqi began walking. “I wouldn’t mind seeing a couple of tourists get eaten alive by a dragon.” She grinned.

“Yeah, that’d be awesome.” Glide agreed. “Maybe see a couple get f****n’ charred to a crisp, too.”

“Did Lujuria tell you the location of the entrance to these tunnels?” Niqi asked suddenly.

“Well, we weren’t exactly f****n’ last night.” Glide grinned.

“Okay, good,” Niqi replied, turning to their destination. She turned back to him after a pause. “What about the other nights?” She smirked.

Glide shrugged. “I don’t usually kiss ’n’ tell, to be honest. But yeah, a few times... a night.” He said, grin returning.

Niqi’s eyes bugged. “Every single night?”

“Yep.” Glide replied. “And let’s just say I showed him a few powers I can’t show you.”

“Bleh. And you wanted to tell me you weren’t a w***e,” Niqi muttered.

“I’m not a w***e.” Glide said. “I’m a s**t.”

Niqi’s brow creased in confusion. “That’s rather trivial. What’s the difference?”

“That’s an easy one.” Glide responded. “W****s get paid.”

 

…

 

They were relatively close to the base of the mountains now.

“Let’s see. If we go that way, that way, or that way, I’ll die. Where are the tunnels?” Niqi asked.

“That way, fool.” Glide snickered. “Come on, follow me.”

Niqi growled quietly but fell into step behind Glide.

Glide led the way into the tunnels, surprised to see Lujuria already waiting for them. “Damn, you’re pretty quick...”

“You’re not.” Lujuria winked.

“How the hell…?” Niqi muttered, glancing between Glide and Lujuria. She sighed. “Nothing ever works out like I expect it to.”

“Shortcut?” Glide asked.

Lujuria nodded, grinning. “Shortcut.”

“Ah. That explains it. I couldn’t quite see you running as fast as Glide was, no offense,” Niqi directed at Lujuria, grinning.

“Trust me, he’s a lot faster than me sometimes.” Glide said, nudging Lujuria.

The selkie went silent, blushing.

“Ugh. We are not discussing that topic again. Less talk, more tunnels,” Niqi said.

“Come on, you two, let’s have some fun.” Lujuria said. “Follow my lead.”

Glide nodded, watching as Lujuria launched into a series of handsprings and flips down the tunnel. Catching on, the Varixian followed suit, singing as he flipped. “Zum zum zum, Capoeira mata um.”

Niqi blinked. “Gymnastics in an underground tunnel?” She sighed, shrugging, and began flipping down the tunnel as well.

“It’s not gymnastics.” Glide said, stopping in a handstand-split. “It’s capoeira.”

“What the hell is that?” Niqi asked, mid-flip.

“A type of dance-fighting, from Earth.” Lujuria explained. “It’s way fun.”

“You’ve been to Earth?” Niqi asked. “I didn’t take the selkies as the traveling type.”

“Not me, I’ve never been.” Lujuria said. “Glide taught me.”

“Ah. Yeah, he knows all sorts of crazy s**t.” Niqi smirked, still bounding down the tunnel, mimicking the movements of Glide and Lujuria.

Lujuria got a bit further down the tunnel before stopping. “Okay, we’ll wait for the others here.”

Niqi nodded, sitting down. “I wonder what’s keeping them, anyway.”

 

…

 

“Belleza? Belleza, I need you to focus. Belleza!” Ambree was trying to get the flail-wielding old woman to come back to reality, but it wasn’t exactly working.

“Isn’t it a wonderful day to be outside, dearie?” Belleza smiled, seemingly unaware that she was still waving the flail around.

“Careful with that thing! You’re going to give me Tetanus,” Ambree muttered, getting aggravated.

“Tetanus?” Belleza asked. “How would you get-” She trailed off, looking down at the flail in her hand. “Oh, right!”

Finally, some progress. She remembered how her nickname brought her back to reality when Glide used it, and decided to try it herself. “Where are the tunnels, Lady Stardust?”

Belleza struck a stylish pose, pointing her flail toward the mountains. “That way! Come on, we’ll teach those demons to come here uninvited!”

Ambree smiled. “That’s more like it.”

They reached the others with minimal effort after that, although it had been quite some time.

“What took you so long?” Niqi asked, getting up from her position on the floor.

“None of you had to cart her along,” Ambree replied, rubbing her temples.

“Hello, all.” Belleza smiled, back to her old self again.

“Hey, Bell.” Glide said. “How’d it go?”

“Kigetski seemed pretty happy with the news, actually. He’s gonna wait for the selkies to arrive at the Northern Cross, then come up here,” Ambree responded.

“Thank the gods.” Glide laughed. “At least I don’t have to kick his a*s.”

“I’m sure you’d like to, anyway,” Niqi commented.

“Anyways, how about the selkies, Lujuria? Are they good with the plan?” Ambree asked.

“Smooth sailing over calm seas.” Lujuria said. “I reminded him exactly why we hunt the demons in the first place, and he’s going to meet the Crusaders in the Northern Cross, then come here.”

“Great. Everything’s going according to plan.” Ambree beamed.

“That’s new,” Niqi muttered.

“So, anyone have an idea what we should do while we wait?” Glide asked. “I’d suggest poker, but all I’ve got is a deck of tarot cards, and, well...”

“We never did get around to making the battle plan more detailed. Never even reached the end of these tunnels,” Niqi suggested.

“We don’t need a detailed battle plan.” Glide said. “Demons are stupid. We just go in there and stab ’em until they’re all dead.”

“You change your mind so quickly,” Niqi grumbled.

Glide laughed. “What? I’m just sayin’, time we spend on battle plans is time we don’t get to spend on demon-stabbing.”

“We aren’t going to get to do any demon-stabbing until the Crusaders and the selkies get here,” Niqi replied.

“You guys are as bad as a married couple,” Ambree commented, sitting down.

“Don’t start,” Niqi hissed towards her.

“You want strategy?” Glide asked, narrowing his eyes. “Open up a goddamn time portal and pull Zhuge Liang through. You want random, unpredictable violence? Then you call me.”

“Fine, no plan,” Niqi huffed.

“Anyway, think about it.” Glide said. “You remember the old saying about the best laid plans of mice and men? It’s better to not have a plan.”

“Alright already. What do you suggest we do until the armies arrive, then?” Niqi asked.

Glide shrugged, sitting down on the tunnel floor. “No idea.”

“Let’s all make some cookies!” Belleza exclaimed.

Glide stared at her for a few seconds, then started snickering quietly.

“This is why it took us so goddamned long,” Ambree commented, smirking.

“Oh, dear,” Belleza murmured, “this isn't the Snapdragon...”

“It’s okay, grandma.” Lujuria laughed, shaking his head.

“Close enough. It’s got dragon in the name, anyway. As well as a couple dragons inside,” Niqi said, snickering.

“A couple?” Lujuria asked. “A thousand generations of dragons rest here.”

“Okay, I’m freaked,” Ambree muttered.

“And don’t forget, dragons get stronger as they age.” Glide added. “Any dragons we find here that are still alive will probably squish all of you like ants.”

“Enough with the dragon horror stories,” Niqi hissed.

“Well, it’s either that, or just sit around and be bored.” Glide smirked.

“How long do you think it’s going to take the armies to get here, anyway?” Niqi asked, absently drawing in the dirt.

“They’ll probably be leaving the Northern Cross at moonrise.” Lujuria said, sitting down beside Glide.

“What time was it when you came in, Ambree?” Niqi asked.

“Around noon, maybe an hour or so after,” Ambree replied.

“Great,” Niqi sighed.

“In that case, forget you guys.” Glide grinned, standing up and heading further into the cave. “I know what I’m doin’ to keep busy.”

Lujuria scrambled to his feet and ran after Glide. “Wait for me!”

“... Where’d all the light go?” Belleza asked after a moment.

Reviews

[KEi]

-midread-

"I'm not a w***e, I'm a s**t."
lol.
He said it first.
;)

lol@Zhuge Liang, as well.

-finished-

:D